SeaDream Yacht Club forced to return to Barbados due to COVID-19…

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Some people are bound and determined to try to keep living life the usual, pre-COVID-19 way. As much as I would like to do that myself, I know, as someone who has an advanced degree in public health, as well as someone with plain old common sense, that it’s not a good idea. Cruising, right now, seems especially ill-advised, even as it remains a tempting diversion.

Bill and I enjoy cruises. We particularly like to sail on small vessels with all inclusive terms. So far, we’ve sailed on Royal Caribbean (one four night cruise), Hebridean Island Cruises (five cruises), and SeaDream Yacht Club (three cruises). Hebridean and SeaDream are both considered by many people to be “luxury” cruises, mainly because they offer a high standard of service and are all inclusive.

Until recently, I’d been wanting to sail on SeaDream again. Our last cruise with them was in May 2013. Over the course of an unforgettable week, we traveled from Rome (Civitavecchia) to Athens (Piraeus). It had been our habit to pre-book cruises on SeaDream. We’d pay $2500 for an “open booking” while still oboard, which would allow us to choose one at a later date that fit our schedule and logistics. But in 2013, Bill was staring down his retirement from the Army, and we weren’t sure what the future held in terms of his employment. We didn’t pre-book another cruise on our last voyage and, so far, things haven’t lined up for us to cruise on SeaDream again, although we are more able to afford it now than we ever have been.

Even though it’s been over seven years since our last magical SeaDream cruise, I’ve continued to follow them on Cruise Critic’s message boards. SeaDream has been in the news lately because it’s resumed cruises in the Caribbean. It recently had a three week transatlantic crossing for SeaDream I, which began in Oslo, Norway and arrived in Barbados. The resumption of cruising was met with many cheers. Indeed, right now, there are several representatives of the press and travel bloggers aboard the ship, including a representative from Cruise Critic. Everyone was hoping they could make cruising during a pandemic successful so that people might start having some fun again and people whose livelihoods come from cruising could get back to work.

One blogger in particular, Gene Sloan of “The Points Guy”, has been covering the voyage extensively and posting pictures on Twitter. A few days ago, he posted photos of staff members not wearing face masks. That led to a lot of angry comments from people who saw the post. But, Sloan reiterated, that before anyone was allowed to embark the ship, everyone had to have two negative COVID-19 tests– one prior to flying to the island and one by the ship’s doctor prior to embarking on the ship. Everyone in the group that has been cruising recently tested negative– and there are only 53 passengers onboard, as opposed to the 112 that SeaDream vessels can usually accommodate. Staffing is at 66 members, so service has probably been incredible. Aside from the testing, SeaDream invested in ultrasonic cleaning devices that supposedly made cleaning “hospital grade”.

Apparently, passengers were assured that they would not have to wear face masks on the ship during the cruise. That was the main reason some people booked the voyage in the first place. They wanted a break from the COVID-19 nightmare and the oppressive face masks that have come with it. And– make no mistake– despite my public health background, I do hate the masks, even as I understand that they’re necessary for now. I totally understand why some people booked so they could escape having to wear the damned things. Since SeaDream did have a successful three week cruise from Oslo and required so much testing prior to embarkation, I’m sure plenty of people felt perfectly safe. I know I would have.

As it turns out, a passenger on the current voyage did start feeling poorly. Passengers would have been required to be tested again anyway, per Barbados’ requirements, but the passenger who felt ill requested a test prior to the one that was already planned. It came up positive. Prior to the positive test, SeaDream had reversed course on its no mask requirement, and passengers were asked to wear masks when they weren’t eating, drinking, or in the water. People were pissed off enough about that– but now they’ve been ordered to their staterooms until they’re all tested again. And who knows if they will be able to continue the cruise, thanks to the one person who tested positive.

I posted about this situation last night, since I have at least one friend who has had the magical SeaDream experience (in fact, that’s where we met). I wrote this:

Not good. They are getting bad press, too, because they weren’t making people wear masks. I wouldn’t want to be on a cruise in which I had spent $10,000 (for two people) and be forced to wear a mask, either. Seems like now isn’t the best time to be cruising. And now they have someone who is COVID positive. Yikes.

In response, I got this comment:

Would you want to spend $10,000 on a cruise and catch the virus because someone didn’t wear a mask?

I was actually a little surprised and disappointed that someone would assume my comment was simply an “anti-masker” statement. I do hate the masks and feel quite fine in saying so out loud. That doesn’t mean I’m non-compliant or in need of an intervention. I do understand why masks are required for now.

From the very beginning of the pandemic, my mantra has been that it’s more important to stay home as much as possible. That’s what I’ve been doing. I have literally not left our neighborhood since October 4th, when we came back from Slovenia with Noyzi. During that trip, we didn’t even eat in a restaurant. This is the same thing I did for about three months last spring– I stayed home almost exclusively from March until June, going out only to walk the dog. That, to me, is much better protection against COVID-19 than a mask is. People will still get sick whether or not masks are worn; it’s just a question of the ease of virus transmission, which is somewhat less when people wear masks. So, to the person who made the above query, this was my response:

No, I would not consider spending that kind of money on a cruise until a vaccine is available. I don’t plan to cruise if people are going to be required to wear face masks, especially on a line like SeaDream, where alcohol is included. I have sailed with them three times and have seen firsthand how people can behave. Lots of money plus entitled attitudes plus booze equals trouble, particularly during a pandemic. People drink a lot on those cruises.  

The blogger who was sharing pictures of the staff members not wearing masks got screamed at by a fellow passenger. Evidently, they were told that masks would not be required and they would not have booked the trip if they were told they had to wear them onboard.

The mask mandate came on Monday night after the pictures went live and people were posting angry comments about the irresponsibility of not masking, despite the many measures that were taken before people were allowed to embark. But, as this article reports, despite everyone being tested three times pre cruise, someone came up positive. I have gotten sick on cruises before and would definitely not want to risk it right now with COVID. It’s very easy to get sick on a cruise. But I also hate the masks and would not find cruising fun while wearing them, anyway.

To be clear– I think it’s crazy to spend five figures on a luxury cruise right now. Some people don’t mind wearing face masks everywhere. That’s good for them. I would definitely not enjoy being forced to wear a mask on a cruise, yet I understand that masks help stem the tide of COVID-19. I will wear them where I have to wear them, but no one needs to be on a luxury cruise during a pandemic. So, until an effective vaccine is available, I won’t be cruising at any price.

I will admit that I would be particularly pissed off if I’d spent $10,000 to be stuck in my stateroom and forced to wear a mask in a place like Barbados. I have been to Barbados, and it’s a very beautiful place akin to actual paradise! But I don’t need to go there so badly that I’d travel there from Europe during a pandemic. And now, it’s possible the people who are on that cruise will spend ten-fourteen days holed up in Barbados in quarantine, likely at their own expense! No, thank you.

There is promising news of an effective vaccine being made out of company in Mainz, Germany, only twenty minutes from where I live. The story surrounding the creation of the vaccine is fascinating on many levels; I hope someone will make a movie out of it or write a book. The married couple who have been working on the vaccine are really interesting people who seem to be focused on doing actual good. I can wait to cruise until their work is completed and we have an effective weapon against the virus that makes it less contagious and dangerous.

As I mentioned before, I have sailed with SeaDream three times. It’s a beautiful experience. The staff is wonderful and kind and mostly genuine. The ship is small– a bit old, but pristine, and immaculately maintained. The itineraries are interesting, exciting, and unique. I have met several great people on that ship, to include a couple of famous folks (who were surprisingly normal). But as incredible as SeaDream or any other cruise experience is, I have experienced getting sick on at least three cruises– twice with nasty colds and once with the dreaded norovirus, which made me puke and gave me horrendous diarrhea for about 36 hours of sheer digestive hell as I was also enduring my menstrual period (fortunately, the sickness was coming on as we were disembarking).

It’s VERY EASY to get sick on a cruise, although with only 53 people onboard, there’s plenty of room for social distancing on SeaDream I right now. The fact remains that you’re in an enclosed environment and you eventually will be exposed to everyone. In fact, I remember on our last cruise on Hebridean Princess, one of the staffers told me that he was always having to battle sickness. It was passed around the ship. If someone came aboard who was sick, there was a very good chance everyone else eventually would be, too; and they’d still have to work, regardless, so that means they’d also be spreading their germs.

Alcohol is included in SeaDream’s fare, and they weren’t going to require masking while eating and drinking. I have seen firsthand that booze is freely offered on SeaDream. You could spend the whole time drinking champagne and eating warmed peanuts if you wanted to– and I have done just that. Ordinarily, that would be a selling point for me, but I have seen the way some people behave after a few drinks. On one SeaDream cruise, Bill and I witnessed a drunk man helping himself to booze, getting very angry at a group of passengers, and actually inviting one or two of them to “step outside”. Imagine how he would react to being required to “mask up” after paying so much to be onboard the ship!

I am a writer myself, although not a famous one (at least in most circles). I can imagine innocently posting a photo from my travels, having it go viral due to someone noting that precautions aren’t being taken, and then being yelled at by another cruiser for spoiling his experience. That has happened to Gene Sloan from The Points Guy, who no doubt was doing his part to publicize SeaDream’s cruise and get the industry going again. Yes, you’d better believe that some people will pay for a maskless experience– same way some people will pay for a condomless prostitute. I can’t blame them at all for wanting to vacation without a mask, but doing so right now isn’t a very smart idea. And paying $10,000 to do it and expecting that nothing will go wrong is also not a very good idea, even though SeaDream cruises are forever tempting. The fact remains that COVID-19 is a real thing and it’s sneakily determined to fuck up everyone’s fun, no matter what.

So I’m going to stay on land for now. I don’t want to wear a mask on a cruise. That wouldn’t be fun for me. And I don’t want to pay $10,000 to be on a luxury cruise, having made the extreme efforts to be COVID-19 negative, only to be trapped on a boat and confined to my stateroom because someone comes up positive (and I don’t blame them– they probably have no clue where they got the virus). I really hope SeaDream and other cruise lines can stay afloat during this mess. I would love to sail with them again, but not until we’ve sorted out this pandemic. Norovirus was bad enough. I’d like to avoid respirators for as long as possible.

Luxury is personal and subjective…

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A few days ago, I was hanging out on Cruise Critic’s message forums when I decided to check the luxury cruising board.  Bill and I don’t cruise a lot yet.  To date, we’ve taken a grand total of seven cruises with one planned for September.  Our first cruise was in June 2009.  We took a four night Baltics cruise on Royal Caribbean.  We liked that experience fine, but all the nickel and diming and crowded buffets made us decide that we’d prefer smaller ships that are all inclusive.

In April 2010, we booked our very first “luxury” cruise on SeaDream Yacht Club’s SeaDream I.  Although it was a five night cruise that wasn’t that expensive relatively speaking, it was a bit of a stretch for us financially.  But we took the cruise and really enjoyed it.  With no more than 112 people on board, most of them adults, stellar food, all inclusive booze, and the chance to swim off the side of the boat, it seemed like a totally different animal than Royal Caribbean’s Vision of the Seas.  It wasn’t hard for the sales guy to talk us into booking another cruise for the following year.

Bill and I were celebrating our 9th anniversary on SeaDream I back in November 2011.

In November 2011, we sailed on SeaDream I for the second time.  It was time for our wedding anniversary and we journeyed to the southern Caribbean to commemorate our nine years of relative bliss.  That trip was also very magical.  I actually spent three hours in the spa and it was a bit too much.  We were blown away again, though, and it was no problem convincing me to book again for a third cruise.

Meanwhile, in November 2012, we decided to try Hebridean Island Cruises, a small British line I discovered by reading an article on Cruise Critic.  Like SeaDream’s two mega yachts I and II, Hebridean Princess is a small ship that carries fewer than 50 passengers.  Like SeaDream, Hebridean cruises are all inclusive and expensive.  Unlike SeaDream, when Hebridean says they are all inclusive, they really mean it.  We did a back to back cruise with them and they took marvelous care of us.  I realized in some ways, I liked Hebridean even more than SeaDream, even though Bill and I are a bit younger (and much more American) than the typical passenger.

Bill and I celebrating anniversary #10… after haggis and whisky.

 

In May 2013, we took our third and latest SeaDream cruise to Italy and Greece.  Although the European cruise was probably my favorite of the three, I didn’t feel moved to pre-book another cruise.  Consequently, we have not been back on SeaDream since May 2013.

A shot taken from SeaDream I in Amalfi.

We have been on Hebridean again, though, having sailed in March 2016.  We will be sailing Hebridean again in September 2017… or, at least, I will be sailing.  Bill is supposed to join me, but may have to work.

On our last cruise in March 2016.

It’s true that I haven’t been on any of the big, well-known luxury cruise lines yet.  I have not tried Silversea, Seabourn, Crystal, or Regent.  I haven’t even tried any of the so-called premium lines yet.  However, there is no doubt in my mind that both SeaDream and Hebridean are luxury cruises.  Both offer outstanding personalized service.  Both lines focus on pampering their guests.  I was perplexed when I saw Cruise Critic’s top ten list of luxury cruise ships and Hebridean was not mentioned, but SeaDream was.  I posted a comment to that effect.  I know Queen Elizabeth II is not known for being overly concerned with luxury, but she’s chartered Hebridean Princess twice.

Very soon, I found myself in a discussion with a couple of other posters.  One lady, a Brit who knew about Hebridean, agreed with me that Hebridean is a luxury ship.  Another poster, I’m guessing an American who had never heard of Hebridean, did not.  She seemed much more concerned with the size of the stateroom and toiletries than anything else.  And, you know, that’s fine…  Because, as another poster eventually put it before also putting down Hebridean Princess as an “old ship”, luxury is personal.  We all have our own ideas of what luxury means.  It’s subjective.

Bill and I aren’t especially hard to please, particularly on cruise lines that are all inclusive.  We like really good food, good booze, and personalized service.  We have gotten that on both SeaDream and Hebridean, even though the ships aren’t the newest or the largest.  Frankly, I like them both for being small and being able to go to locations that are off limits to larger vessels.  I like the fact that there’s no pressure to tip.  I don’t actually have a problem with tipping, as long as I know what the protocol is and what to expect, but I would prefer not to have to worry about it.  I like it better when the crew members are paid well and do their jobs because they have pride in their work, not because they’re expecting me to supplement their income with a monetary gift.  Feeling like I have to tip takes away from the guest experience for me and adds a level of stress.  So we pay big fares on small luxury lines to take away that stressor and others, like having to sign chits.

The lady on Cruise Critic who was responding to me seemed to think my ideas of what luxury is are all wrong.  It was as if it didn’t occur to her that people can have differences in opinion.  She says she wouldn’t want to be on an all British ship, even though she is married to a Brit.  Personally, I like sailing with Brits.  I actually prefer them to some of the other groups of people I have encountered while cruising– and those people don’t necessarily come from a specific country but are more of a “type” of personality.  I try not to judge a person by where they’re from; my focus is more on how they behave.  Assholes come in all nationalities.

I would say my favorite group from a specific country so far are Norwegians, who are friendly and fun loving, from what I can tell.  Some of the Brits I sailed with on SeaDream would beg to differ on that.  They thought the Norwegians on our cruise were extremely annoying.

I was feeling kind of frustrated by the Cruise Critic forum when another commenter wrote this…

I really think all these discussions become repetitive and boring. Let’s just be grateful that there are cruise line out there which suit different people and we can choose what we like best. No need to tear down one line just because we prefer a different one.

I must admit, I like the way she thinks…

 

One drawback to cruising on small ships is that sometimes you run into people with whom you don’t mesh.  That has certainly happened to Bill and me.  Based on her comments on Cruise Critic, I have a feeling that I wouldn’t enjoy the commenter who was so focused on her stateroom and where the fellow cruisers come from.  So the fact that she doesn’t like sailing with Brits and thinks Hebridean is beneath her is fine with me.  I’d just as soon not have to see her on my next cruise.

Anyway… I have a feeling our next cruise will be on a barge in France.  That’s what I’m hoping for… And since there are even fewer people on those vessels than on SeaDream or Hebridean, I pray that we all get along and enjoy the luxury… and the fact that we are able to take a vacation at all on ANY ship.  Many people are not that lucky.

Ten shocking, funny, strange, amazing, and annoying things I have encountered on small cruises…

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Last night over dinner, Bill and I were talking about some of the things we’ve seen on any of the seven cruises we’ve been on so far.  Cruising is a lot of fun, but if you’re on a small vessel, you can end up rubbing elbows with fellow passengers more often than you would on a larger ship.  Sometimes, that extra contact leads to making new friends.  Sometimes it ends up being way too close for comfort.

I write this, knowing that I have probably inspired a few blog posts or Facebook rants myself.  Indeed, on our first Hebridean cruise, I faceplanted in the dining room right next to the buffet on a formal night.  I bet a few people who were cruising with us remember that incident.

This post may or may not be for the faint of heart.  I just thought it would make for a funny blog topic.  All of these stories are true, though I have tried not to be too specific in the interest of not embarrassing anyone (too much).  If anyone else wants to share an anecdote, feel free in the comments section.

10. A man with a mustache resembling an overgrown caterpillar. 

On our second SeaDream cruise, Bill and I were mingling among the newly embarking guests and happened to sit down with a British couple we ended up hanging out with all week.  As we were checking out the new folks and making small talk, a man walked by with his very large group of family members.  He had a very unusual black mustache that pretty much demanded that you look at him.  Our new British friends were commenting on the way the facial hair was styled and the wife quipped, “It looks like an overgrown caterpillar!”  Leave it to the Brits to come up with such a hilarious and truthful assessment!

9.  A woman with an electric fan in her cleavage.

On our very first SeaDream cruise in 2010, there was a woman from California running around with a tiny electric fan clipped to her tank top.  It blew breezes toward her face.  We were in Puerto Rico and it was very hot.  I had to applaud her genius!

Wow!  Such ingenuity!  

 

8.  Some German guy’s balls…

While cruising in Italy a few years ago, I happened to be sitting on the pool deck, trying to catch a few chilly mid May rays of Italian sun off the coast of Amalfi.  While I was sitting there sipping prosecco, a young German guy, who had just been using some of the ship’s water sports equipment, casually changed out of his bathing suit while he was on deck.  I noticed he was trying to be somewhat discreet, but I still ended up with an eyeful of his family jewels.  Later, I was talking to a woman from Northern Ireland who confessed that she’d also gotten an unsolicited look at this guy’s junk.  While nudity is definitely not a big deal in most of continental Europe, I sure got more than I was bargaining for as I gazed at Amalfi’s famous coast.

7.  Brawl in the piano bar.

 

One night, while singing hits from the 70s and 80s in SeaDream 1’s piano bar, I witnessed a drunk and belligerent man calling out a bunch of partying Norwegians because he thought they were being too loud while he was trying to sing.  There we were, singing “Just The Two of Us”, and this guy suddenly got pissed off and demanded that the Norwegians “step outside”.  Fortunately, the Norwegians had cool heads and declined.  For a minute, I thought a couple of people were going to have to walk the plank!

6.  Liquor theft in the piano bar.

On the same evening of the same cruise, the cagey drunk guy and another guy decided to slip behind the bar and help themselves to scotch.  Most of the liquor was actually included in the price of the fare, but I had to admit being surprised at their moxie.  Fortunately, they were not busted by the very competent Portuguese bartender who brooked no nonsense and made a mean mojito.

5.  Fractured facts and annoying anecdotes about America…

On a recent cruise, Bill and I were two of only four Americans on a very small ship.  One of the other Americans happened to have a voice that carried and a mouth that rarely stopped running.  While sitting on a bus, waiting to go on an excursion, she regaled fellow passengers with strange stories about poor people in Appalachia force feeding their babies Mountain Dew, *fish* (not shrimp) and grits in the South, and tales of her parents forcing her to drink warm powdered milk when she was a child.  I kind of wished I’d brought along my noise canceling headphones, but we kept hearing snippets of fractured facts throughout the week, no matter where we were.

4.  Raging paranoia…

We met one couple from Texas on a cruise.  They were pretty nice to talk to, though the husband was a little bit on the odd side.  Once the cruise was finished, we went back to our homes in North Carolina and Texas respectively (this was before our year in San Antonio).  After our trip, I somehow ended up getting uninvited correspondence from the husband, who was first upset that SeaDream had sent us a cookbook as a gift and he and his wife didn’t get one.  Then he said he’d made a film of the cruise and posted it unlisted on YouTube.  He offered to send us the parts of the film he had taken of us, but there were many strings attached.  He said we weren’t to share the links with anyone and had a whole list of other rules designed to protect his privacy.  Apparently, it never occurred to him that perhaps Bill and I value our own privacy.  Neither Bill nor I like to see ourselves on camera, though Bill patiently puts up with me photographing him all the time (because I love him and mostly manage to get good shots).   Since I didn’t actually want to see the video, I tried to politely explain that we weren’t interested.  He wrote back that he didn’t understand, so I found myself forced to be blunt.  Naturally, that didn’t go over well, but at least he quit emailing me.  Not that I mind being in people’s videos or photos.  That’s going to happen when a person goes on vacation.  I just don’t necessarily want to see the photos or videos unless they happen to be flattering.  😉

*Speaking of unsolicited photos…

Here are a couple of unsolicited photos the aforementioned partying Norwegians took of me with my camera while I was singing to Bill…

I think I look pretty horrible in these photos.  I had a terrible blistering sunburn; my hair was all messed up from the humidity; and I felt as big as a beached whale.  But I kept the pictures because I love the way Bill is looking at me and the night itself was a lot of fun.  I guess I should appreciate the unsolicited pictures, even if they do make me feel kind of icky about my appearance.  Damned narcissism!

3.  Bolt ons galore!

 

I confess that before I took a small ship cruise, I had never heard of the term “bolt ons” to describe breast implants.  But on our first SeaDream cruise, a Canadian lady used that expression to describe the apparently perfectly perky breasts of a very attractive trophy wife type woman who was on the ship.  Whether or not that particular woman actually had bolt ons, I don’t know.  But since that cruise, I have seen a lot of obvious bolt ons.

 

2.  Celebrities!

 

On our first SeaDream cruise, we ran into a couple of celebrities, neither of whom I initially recognized.  One was a star of a then popular reality show that I couldn’t watch because we lived out in the boonies and didn’t get TV.  The other couple had discovered and launched the music career of a very popular female rock star.  I ended up becoming Facebook friends with the rock star couple, which has been a source of a lot of fun for me, mainly because I am a music geek.  We struck up a conversation after attending the worst karaoke show I’ve ever been to!  On another SeaDream cruise, a German guy surprised everyone by taking over the piano player’s piano and delighting everyone with a live performance.  I can’t be sure, but I have a feeling he, too, was in the music business.  He came over and gave me a big hug when he was finished!  Sometimes music can lead to unexpected bonding!

1. Hand job at the dinner table… 

While cruising through Scotland on the tiny Hebridean Princess, Bill and I were two of four Americans onboard.  The other American couple happened to be sitting within my line of sight, next to a wall in the ship’s dining room.  She was a brilliant but extremely introverted medical doctor who also had a PhD.  He was a much more outgoing professor of literature from an Ivy League university.  As we were eating, I happened to glance over their way and noticed the female half gazing intently into her husband’s eyes.  He was doing his best to keep a straight face.  I looked down and saw her hand kneading his package while the rest of us dined on Sunday roast.  I must say, Hebridean Princess is the last place I would have expected to see something like that!

I’m not sure when our next cruise will be, but it will probably be on a small ship.  And if it is, I am certain I can add to this list of misadventures.

A little while ago, my dogs announced the mail…

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And in the mail was a final bill for our upcoming Hebridean cruise.  In July, we paid a $1600 deposit.  We now have $4800 left to pay for our Spirit of Scotland cruise in mid March.

It’s funny, because we were just talking about the cruise last night.  It sounds like it’s very expensive, but we actually got a really good deal.  We took advantage of a sale being offered and, for some reason, it was cheaper to pay in pounds.  Also, when you sail on Hebridean, absolutely EVERYTHING is included, unless you buy something from the gift shop.  Once you pay your fare, that’s it.  They don’t even ask you for a credit card when you board.

Booze is included.  Excursions are included.  Entry fees to museums and parks are included.  There is no tipping at all.  Transportation is also included.  So yeah… it seems like a lot of money, but having sailed with them before, I know it’s worth it.  And there are only 49 or 50 people sailing at a time.

Still… for many years, the idea of us doing a cruise this expensive was out of the question.  It hurts to drop four figures on a vacation.  And I still need dental implant surgery.  So yeah…  ouch.

But this is so worth the money…  I can’t wait.  Scotland is one of my favorite places in the world.

I won’t be mega cruising anytime soon…

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Bill and I will be taking our first cruise in almost three years in March 2016.  The ship we will be on, Hebridean Princess, is tiny.  It’s a former car ferry that mostly does itineraries in Scotland.  Only 49 people cruise at a time.  There is no pool or spa.  And there is definitely no Flow Rider or rock climbing wall.  There are also no rugrats, since kids under age 9 are not allowed.

What there is on Hebridean Princess is true all inclusive luxury and excellent service.  The food is excellent.  The excursions are leisurely and interesting and included in the fare.  You get bagpiped onboard.  And you are just very well looked after by a very professional staff.

This morning, I read a review of Royal Caribbean’s mega cruise ship Anthem of the Seas.  The author of the review noted that the mega ship was “a little too mega at times”.  I think I would agree.  What Candyce H. Stapen describes is a floating shopping mall/amusement park/hotel with a bewildering array of things to do, restaurants to dine at, places to shop, and lots and lots of lines.  No thank you.

I’m sure a lot of people love the huge ships.  That’s why Royal Caribbean keeps building them.  Bill and I once cruised on Royal Caribbean’s Vision of the Seas, which is among its smallest ships.  We had a nice time and really enjoyed the itinerary.  The nicest thing about it was that the ship, while large and impressive, wasn’t that large.  And we didn’t feel like we needed to stay onboard and miss the ports just so we could try the bumper cars and waterslides (not that Bill would have wanted to, anyway).

I think if I were on a huge ship with over 4,000 passengers, I’d feel like I’d need to explore the whole damn thing.  That’s not why I cruise.  I cruise because I like to see new places.  A ship of that size would overwhelm me.  Besides that, I’d be constantly fretting about signing chits and the big bill at the end… and how much to tip.  Of course, Royal Caribbean actually shows a video about how to tip on their TV station.

Hebridean Princess does not allow tipping.  It’s not once of those lines that includes it but then says you can donate to the crew fund.  They flat out say that tipping is potentially awkward and embarrassing and they don’t want you to do it.  I have nothing against tipping as long as I know what I’m supposed to do, though given my ‘druthers, I’d rather the cruise line just pay their people appropriately so I don’t have to worry about it.

The only thing I don’t like about the smaller vessels is that I have a tendency to get seasick.  I did not have a problem on Vision of the Seas because it had stabilizers, but I have been on SeaDream I three times and Hebridean twice (a back to back cruise).  And yes, there was puking… though on Princess, I think it was more because we got bad news from home about one of our dogs and I was very upset.

Fortunately, we have a lot of choices when it comes to cruising and you can find something for everyone with budgets that run the gamut.  I’m hoping that now that Bill has stable employment, we can try another cruise line sometime soon.  But I can promise you, we won’t be on one of those miniature floating cities…

Carnival… a cruiseline you couldn’t pay me to patronize…

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In the years since my month on a train in Europe, my tastes in travel have gone decidedly upscale.  Nowadays, I tend to stay in comfortable hotels and book all inclusive cruises.  It’s not that I wouldn’t consider staying in a less expensive hotel, especially if the hotel is in Europe.  It’s just that the older I get, the less charming “roughing it” is to me.  If I can be more comfortable, I’m willing to pay for the privilege… as long as I can afford it, that is.

That being said, I have never had any desire to cruise on a Carnival ship, even before the disasters with its two big ships, Splendor and Triumph.  Both ships were adrift after engine fires and the masses of people stranded aboard were left fucked up, fucked over, and hungry, as my good friend Weird Wilbur sings it…

I like my creature comforts.  That’s why I sail on small ships like SeaDream I and Hebridean Princess… as least as long as we can afford to.

Hebridean Princess

SeaDream I

Maybe I’m a snob for knocking Carnival.  After all, I have never set foot on a Carnival ship.  And they do offer cheap cruises… but for your cruise fare, you get lots of nickel and diming, long lines, hordes of kids, chair hogs, and masses of people.  To me, that’s not very relaxing and defeats the whole purpose of taking a vacation.
Carnival Victory in Puerto Rico

I do always get a kick out of boarding SeaDream I when the biggest ships are in port…
SeaDream I parked next to the massive P&O Ventura…

They can keep their big ships with the fast food restaurants.  Give me a small ship any day, as long as you throw in a box of Bonine…
And hopefully, if there ever is an engine fire on one of the small ships, it won’t involve being stuck adrift for days on end…