Buying German food products for the “yuks”…


That’s right. “Yuks”. As in, laughing your ass off. I think we could all could use some more “yuks”, right?

Yesterday, while I was binge watching murder porn on Snapped, Bill came into our bedroom with a shelf stable container of oat milk. He likes to use animal free products sometimes because he’s a healthier person than I am on many levels. He said he bought the oat milk because of the label. Behold…

Bill and I have both noticed that while Germany has rules against “Beleidigung, that is, insulting people (especially people in authority like cops and politicians), they have no compunction about using English swear words in everyday language. For instance, one can be listening to an American pop song on the radio and if there are f bombs in it, you will hear them in all of their profane glory. Same thing with announcers on the radio, who regularly refer to “shitstorms”.

Personally, I’m alright with the profanity. I’m not a big believer in “bad words”, anyway. I really don’t think there is such a thing. Every word, in my opinion, is neutral. It’s the intent behind them that makes saying them good or bad. For instance, as a former English major at Longwood University, I took courses in African-American literature and Women’s literature. Both courses included slave narratives in which a certain taboo racist epithet was used repeatedly.

Was I offended? No, not really. That word was part of the lexicon at the time and the books would have lost their power without them. I was offended by the brutality of the way slaves were treated in those stories and the fact that their true stories are a shameful part of history. But the use of the n-word in those books is necessary. Same as it’s necessary in certain musical pieces, like Stevie Wonder’s “Living for the City”, and even in certain 70s and 80s era sitcoms, in which racism was a topic that was tackled. The word is used to convey the extent of the contempt and racism of those times. Taking it out would lessen the impact of the pieces.

Because of that– and because I love language and all its quirks– I don’t believe in “bad words”. I don’t think they should be used as weapons. I think people should be judicious in how they use their language. But I’m not a fan of “banning” any specific words… and, as we can see from the above label, even “bad” words can mean different things to different people. I know many Americans who would blush seven shades of red at simply reading that label. They sure as hell wouldn’t have bought the product! But my husband bought it because of the words “fucking” and “bullshit”. He knew that I would get a big kick out of them.

The words “fucking” and “bullshit” don’t have the same impact in Germany as they do in America, just like the words “cunt” and “fag” don’t mean the same to Brits as they do to us Yanks. Hell, until very recently, there was an old village in Austria called Fucking. I should know, because Bill and I visited. We also visited Fuckersberg, Austria, because we’re nerds like that. Fucking recently changed its name after hundreds of years of being known as “Fucking”. Why? Because Americans kept stealing their road signs and doing things like having sex under the the signs. What a shame. Typical Americans ruining things for everybody.

Sigh… I really miss traveling. I look forward to the day when I can write a post on my travel blog that is actually about travel. But, for now, I will continue to get a big kick out of “fucking good Oatmilk” that makes “sexy Milchkaffee”. Except I don’t think I could bring myself to try oat milk… so maybe not. Bill is calling me to breakfast, so off I pop. Have a great Valentine’s Day!

Beer and Fucking Tour… a visit to Fuckersberg… and peeing on a snake!


Sunday morning, we were up bright and early, ready to move on to our next location.  After breakfast, we loaded up the car and checked out of the hotel.  Our total bill for two nights, two beer spa packages (beer bath, partial massages, and four course beer menu), Friday night’s four course “menu” dinner, and several beers, came to about 480 euros.

I noticed that the proprietor meant to take the day off.  She had set a sheet of paper with hotel keys on it next to the names of people scheduled to check in.  I guess these folks would later show up, grab their keys, and deal with the check in process later.  Obviously, the lady in charge was going to rest and enjoy her Sunday.  As we were about to leave, she showed up in a beautiful dirndl, said goodbye, and wished us a pleasant trip.

I really enjoyed staying at the Moorhof, even though it’s a bit 80s and in a somewhat rural area.  Salzburg is close enough to visit for those who need to see a city, yet the hotel is in a very serene, beautiful area.  The food is good.  The prices are reasonable.  There’s plenty of free parking and there are many places to take walks.  And, if you want to, you can even rent an “old time” tractor and go for a ride.  Though I thought Franking was lovely, I really liked the friendly people.  I would go back there if I ever need a place to completely unplug.  Franking is very tranquil and serene.

After we settled up, I told Bill that I was dying to see a place called Fuckersberg.  I was alerted to the existence of this place in Austria by ListOfTheDay, a hilarious guy on Facebook who posts funny stuff.  He claims he lives in Fuckersberg.  He’s hysterical and now runs the Everything 70s group on Facebook.

Anyway, because we were in Austria, I had to see this mystical place called Fuckersberg, even though we had big trouble pulling it up on the GPS.  While plenty of people posted pictures of Fucking, no one had posted pictures of Fuckersberg.  Yet I knew from Google (and now having seen it) that it’s a real place.  So, even though it was Sunday and Fuckersberg is over an hour northeast from Franking and in the opposite direction of where we were going, I convinced Bill to take me there.  Since it wasn’t in the GPS, we picked a small town about three miles from Fuckersberg’s location per Google maps.

The drive to Fuckersberg was absolutely beautiful!  I was really enjoying the scenery.  Unfortunately, I eventually really had to pee.  Since it was Sunday, a lot of places were closed.  I determined that I needed to find a bush somewhere.  As a side note, since we moved back to Europe, I am finding that I have fewer and fewer inhibitions when it comes to public urination.

Bill found a spot on the side of the road near a wooded area.  I don’t think we were supposed to park there and given what happened, I kind of wish we hadn’t.  But my bladder was screaming and I spotted a place I could duck behind and relieve myself quickly…

I ducked behind here… it was a good hiding spot for a whiz…

I was pretty pleased with myself for finding this particular spot, even though there were briars and debris back there.  I had just dropped my pants and squatted down when I spotted a stick near my foot.  As the first drops of urine flowed to the ground, I saw the stick move and realized that I was actually peeing on a snake who had the misfortune of hiding back there while I took a much needed whiz.  I let out a small scream, finished up, and rushed out from behind the machinery.  Later, I looked up the snake…  It wasn’t very big, nor was it poisonous.  Still, it gave me the creeps.  In fairness, I guess I gave it the creeps, too.  ETA: My German friend Susanne thinks maybe it was a different kind of snake.  She’s probably right.  Anyway, it was sort of gray and brown and not very scary.  Just creepy.

Near Fuckersberg…

We finally got to a town called Zell an der Pram, which is near Fuckersberg.  Bill turned on roaming services on his phone and we used Google GPS to get to the exact place where Fuckersberg is.  Fuckersberg is in a very beautiful area, but I could tell the locals aren’t used to strange people cruising through there.  One lady gave us a bewildered look as we drove past.  She was saddling her horse for a morning ride.  We passed her again when we determined that Fuckersberg only has one sign.  It’s pretty small and you could very easily miss it.  But here it is in all its fabled glory…  Fuckersberg is apparently a big field.

I had to take this photo in a hurry because the horse lady looked perturbed with us…

Once we finished our business in Fuckersberg, we headed for Lermoos, which is in the Tyrol region and very close to Garmisch-Partenkirchen.  In fact, Bill and I passed through Lermoos several times last time we lived here because he had a bunch of conferences at the Edelweiss Lodge and I always tagged along when he went there.  I gotta say, I liked our traditional hotel in Lermoos a lot better than the Edelweiss Lodge.

Because we were so far east, we ended up going to Lermoos by way of Germany, which involved driving through Munich.  Bill was not a happy camper and neither was I.  In fact, I got pretty “hangry”.  More on that in the next post.