Fucking Hell beer…  Pardon the cone of shame in the background…

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that Bill and I have been planning a trip to Austria next month.  One of the places I’m hoping to see is the tiny town of Fucking, Austria.  Yes, it’s immature for me to want to go there simply to take a photo of the sign.  I just can’t resist the urge, though, because I have no shame or children to worry about.

While I was researching a visit to Fucking, I was made aware of a German beer called Fucking Hell.  Obviously, this beer was so named because its creators are marketing “geniuses” who are hoping to cash in on all the foul mouthed English speakers who live in Germany.  I am a foul mouthed English speaker and I do plan to visit Fucking, where I expect to get harassed when I try to take a photo of one of the signs.

This beer was supposedly named after Fucking, though the town does not actually have a brewery.  So I knew I had to try it, especially when I read about the controversy caused when brand owners Florian Krause and Stefan Fellenberg first tried to register their product.

If you think about it, the name Fucking Hell is only potentially offensive to English speakers.  Fucking is not a German epithet and hell refers to a light German lager.  In German speaking countries, it should be perfectly fine…  although obviously, most German speakers probably know that the f word is a dirty swear.  Anyway, on with the review…

My order of Fucking Hell arrived yesterday via the very kind German mail carrier who serves my neighborhood.  I had also ordered a Fucking Hell hoodie, but I guess it’s backordered because it wasn’t in the box.  I put a few brews in the fridge to give them a chance to cool down.

I checked out reviews of Fucking Hell on the Untappd app before I tried it.  I also checked Rate Beer.  The ratings weren’t exactly preparing me for a mind blowing beer.  I think it barely rated three stars on a five star scale or came very close to three stars.  Still, this beer is made by the Hartmannsdorf Brauhaus in accordance with the German beer purity laws.  In fact, you can check out the label, written in English and German, and see where it expressly states what it in the beer and that it’s made the way the Germans think it ought to be made.  And that tells me the beer is going to be perfectly drinkable, but pretty boring.

After the beer had a chance to cool down a bit, I got myself a glass and poured the brew.   It had a somewhat foamy head composed of medium sized bubbles, lots of lacing, and the color was sort of a dark, almost amber looking hue.  I gave the beer a chance to settle somewhat, then tasted it.  It had a slightly skunky aroma, somewhat reminiscent of Heineken, though not quite as skunky as Heineken is.  To me, the flavor was slightly nutty, though not strongly so.  At 4.9% ABV, it’s not a really strong beer and it goes down fine on a hot summer day.  It’s not offensive, but it’s also not exciting or interesting.

Yes, it’s kind of hokey that this beer was named after an Austrian town that doesn’t actually have a brewery and is located nowhere near Berlin.  But there’s truth in advertising.  This beer is definitely a hell… and though it’s not exactly hell to drink it, it won’t blow your mind or burn your butt.  I doubt I will buy more of Fucking Hell, though it’s fun to drink it now and I’ll certainly be able to finish the case I purchased.

If you’re curious and don’t want to buy a whole case of this brew, you can get six or twelve packs.  The online store also offers a number of fun accessories including t-shirts and glassware.  I think it would be great if this company went to a place where there are no purity laws so they could really make this beer something interesting.  As it stands now, I think Fucking Hell is perfectly average and tastes like a lot of other mass produced beers… though it’s somewhat better than the watery likes of Budweiser or Michelob.

This is a video review of Fucking Hell.  The reviewer gets it wrong when he says it was brewed in Fucking, Austria.  It was not brewed there.  I don’t think it tastes awful, as the reviewer says, but it’s not a very interesting beer.  On the other hand, if it really tasted awful, maybe it would really live up to the name as it’s understood in English…