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Sud Tyrol and beyond… part six

Our “Milinski” moment and the menu from Hell!

Tuesday morning got off to a somewhat bad start. We went down to the restaurant for breakfast, put on our masks and disinfected our hands, then got our usual fruits, cold cuts, and breads. I can’t complain about the breakfast at Klein Fein Hotel Anderlahn. There’s plenty to choose from, although I missed the Zumo machine at Hotel Kristall. As I was enjoying a pretzel roll, Bill took a look at the evening’s menu. He looked a bit concerned and said, “I don’t think you’re going to like this.”

He handed me the menu, and sure enough, the side vegetable of the day was mushrooms. Anyone who has read my blogs for any length of time probably already knows how much I hate mushrooms. I hate them to the point of having a phobia. I’m serious. I know it’s an irrational fear– which is what makes it a phobia– but I have a lifetime aversion to mushrooms and I can’t eat them at all. I wrote about the “menu from Hell” on my main blog, so anyone who is interested can read that piece.

Fortunately, the hotel does offer alternatives for those who don’t like what’s being offered. One can have an entrecote (rib eye steak) or a schnitzel (breaded pork cutlet) with fries. That’s what I ended up ordering for Tuesday night’s dinner. We also signed up for a Schnapps tasting, which was offered by a lady who runs a winery within walking distance of the hotel.

After breakfast, we got in the trusty Volvo and headed west and I started taking pictures of all the apple and pear orchards. We had no agenda. We just wanted to see what we could find. After about forty–five minutes of beautiful scenery, we came across a curious looking roadside attraction. It’s run by an artist named Lorenz Kuntner, who asks for a one euro “free will” donation to look at his massive “open air” museum. Mr. Kuntner strongly identifies with Native Americans and he has many works of art on his property, which also happens to be next to a swiftly running brook.

It wasn’t long until Bill and I encountered the very friendly man himself. Kuntner speaks German, Italian, and perfect English. He left his day job– not sure what it was– and opened this museum, where people are welcome to stop and look at his many works of creativity. He has everything from sculptures to paintings on the side of the mountain, and all he asks for is one euro per person. But many people tried to skip out on paying. He has no qualms about confronting them, either. He talked to Bill for about 45 minutes or so, while I patiently waited for the opportunity to pee. The chance to whiz wasn’t immediately forthcoming, but I did get a lot of pictures of the artist’s unusual creations.

The artist reminded Bill and me a little bit of another artist we met in Poland back in 2008 named Dariusz Milinski. Actually, I don’t think Mr. Milinski’s art is that much like Mr. Kuntner’s, but they were similarly eccentric in terms of their personalities. Kuntner was speaking to us in rapid fire German and English as he spoke about how small Hitler’s penis was and how Donald Trump is ruining the world (can’t disagree with that). He also showed us a photo of Geronimo. Mr. Kuntner very much identifies with the spirit of Native Americans and he spoke to us at length about it, in English and German. Below is a video Lorenz Kuntner posted. It’s in German. Again, in this part of Italy, most people speak German before they speak Italian!

Bill was pretty fascinated by the shaman, Lorenz Kuntner. He loves talking to artists. I like them too, except for when I need to use the bathroom. So after we visited the artist, we headed back east, and made our way to Merano. There’s a big spa there. I kept thinking maybe we’d go there, but we never made it. Merano is a charming little city, with drinking fountains all around that offer fresh drinking water. The only other place I’d ever seen like that was Yerevan, Armenia. Water fountains are all over Yerevan, and they are really helpful in the hot sun! Here are some pictures I took on the way to Merano, where we had lunch and enjoyed some local beers.

We had lunch at a place called RÖMERKELLER. I see now that it’s a chain restaurant, which doesn’t surprise me. Still, the food was very good and the service was fine.

We enjoyed several drinks at the Kloster Keller. Or, at least I did. Bill got a kick out of a realization I made. I married Black Beauty and he married Ginger. If you’ve read the book, you might understand what that means… Bill is very well-mannered and kind-hearted and was taught well by his mama. I’m kind of a high-mettled, angry bitch who doesn’t tolerate abuse. Sometimes, anyway… Black Beauty was very helpful when an elderly couple wanted to sit down. There were umbrellas in the way, so Bill was quick to move one of them. Another man, much younger and probably less astute, jumped up to help with the other one. I was proud of Bill and his teaching by example moment.

After awhile, we headed back to the hotel, where I faced the menu from hell… I’m not going to go into detail about it here, since I already wrote about it on my main blog. I did get some pictures of the meal, though, and lots of curious stares from the people sitting around us, who seemed baffled as to why I was having a steak. After dinner, we did the Schnapps tasting, which was where we let people know that we weren’t in Europe illegally.

The Schnapps tasting was done in German, English, and Italian on account of the multinational crowd of six that signed up for it. We surprised the hostess by knowing some words in German that she didn’t know in English, although her English was way better than our German. We enjoyed the spirits, too, and she had a lot of interesting information to share about distilling spirits in Sud Tyrol. She had an Austrian license, which limited her ability to distill spirits. She said that the day she came to do the tasting was one day of sixteen per year she was allowed to make her Schapps. She also sells wine. I wish we’d visited her and picked up some wine to bring home, but she was only open from 5:00pm until 7:00pm and we were otherwise engaged during that time.

Anyway… Tuesday was a good day despite the fungus heavy menu and the gentle chastisement I got from the waitress for not cleaning my plate.

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Sud Tyrol and beyond… part five

Onward to Italy…

Monday morning, we woke up to clear skies and the prospect of driving to Italy. I was a little sorry to be leaving Leutasch, although I did hope our next hotel would have a bed with a softer mattress. The one at Hotel Kristall was pretty firm. We packed up our stuff, had another breakfast, and checked out of the hotel. One thing I didn’t mention in previous posts is that Hotel Kristall has a “Zumo” machine. I first encountered a Zumo machine in Spain. You load up fresh oranges into the machine and it makes delicious fresh squeezed orange juice. That was another thing I loved about our Austrian hotel. They also had a machine for carrot juice, but I didn’t try that. Since I prepaid the hotel, we only had to take care of the bar bill. With that settled, the receptionist gave us a small jar of housemade marmalade as a parting gift and we were then on our way to Parcines, Italy and Klein Fein Hotel Anderlahn. The last words I said as we left Hotel Kristall in Leutasch were, “What a great hotel!” I would definitely go back.

Parcines, Italy, also known as Partschins to German speakers, is well known for its waterfall. However, I didn’t know about the waterfall when I booked the hotel. I was just looking for a nice spa/wellness hotel to spend four nights. My German friend was the one who told me about the waterfall, which I understand is very beautiful. Unfortunately, we were not able to see it up close because although the waterfall is public property, the land around it is not. During the pandemic, the owner of the land around the waterfall decided to put up a fence. So now, if visitors try to get close to the falls, they are trespassing. Based on comments on Google reviews, the landowner is now engaged in legal action regarding this situation.

Still, some people were able to make videos of the falls before they became less accessible. Here’s a video I found on YouTube.

It was disappointing that we couldn’t see this up close…

Our drive to Parcines was easy enough, with lots of nice scenery and a familiar trip through Brenner’s Pass. I took some photos, of course. The drive from Leutasch was maybe about three or four hours, so we arrived in Parcines in time for lunch.

We got to the hotel at about noon. Our room was ready, so the very kind receptionist, who was also the wine sommelier and bartender, as well as the proprietor’s son, welcomed us to check in early. We had another junior suite. It overlooked one of the three pools at the hotel. When we checked in, no one was using the pool. I remarked my surprise about that, and Janek, the barkeep said, “That’s because everyone’s out hiking. Trust me. They’re going to use it!” I should have realized what was to come. That pool was to be used by the kids, as the hotel also has an infinity pool for people aged 15 and up. There’s also an indoor pool in the spa area.

Like our room in Austria, the room in Parcines came with half board and a small fridge. We could order the fridge filled with beer and such, or just use it on its own. Like Leutasch, Parcines offers a lot, especially to people who are into hiking, biking, whitewater rafting, or swimming. Once again, we were allowed into the hotel without a mask. They were only required for the buffet, although we did not have to wear gloves, as we did in Leutasch. But then, Leutasch didn’t require masks. Like I mentioned before, the mask and glove requirements are oddly different everywhere we’ve been this summer. In Meerfeld, Germany, last month, we had to wear masks in the restaurant and at the buffet and Bill had to wear gloves to see the wine list, because it was in a book. In Austria we had to wear gloves, but no masks. In Italy, masks, but no gloves… and in Switzerland, no gloves OR masks. More on that later.

Since it was close to lunchtime when we arrived, we decided to have lunch at a pizzeria in town, which we were able to walk to. Weirdly enough, the pizzeria doesn’t offer pizza until after five o’clock. Maybe it’s because the oven is too hot for daytime use? I don’t know. Parcines has a couple of little shops. I noticed a shoe store and a tiny grocery store. There’s also a Weingut within walking distance of the hotel. The town has a lot of little hotels and apartments for rent.

After lunch, we walked back to the hotel, and sure enough, people were in the pool. We decided to join them. First, we checked out the indoor spa pool, which was empty. A little boy kept peeking in on us as we swam in there. I suspect it was because the kids kind of commandeered that pool, too, as I discovered over the course of the week.

When we got back to the room, the kids were back and in full play mode. Unfortunately, there is no air conditioning in this hotel, so we had to leave the window/door open for cool air. But that also meant listening to shrieking from the kids and, later on, people on the patio drinking, laughing, and enjoying themselves. Don’t get me wrong! I am all for doing those things. But I also like to take naps and enjoy peace and quiet when I’m in my room. If this hotel had air conditioning and we could have closed the door to the balcony, it would have been a lot better for us.

Later, we went down for our first dinner at the Klein Fein Hotel Anderlahn. It was “Italian night”, and we’d made our selections when we checked in. Bill had saltimbocca– veal wrapped with bacon– and I went with the vegetarian dish– mozzarella cheese in a pastry with tomato sauce. We enjoyed aperitifs before dinner started at 7:00pm, and met the very friendly proprietor, who spoke only German and Italian, but was kind and welcoming.

I think of all the dinners we had at this hotel, our first one was my favorite. To be very honest, I wasn’t all that crazy about the food at the Klein Fein Hotel Anderlahn. It wasn’t the worst I’d ever had, but I would say it was kind of disappointing, especially for Italy. Although this hotel gets high ratings, the one bad review it got was by someone who didn’t like the food. While I wouldn’t go as far as that person did in their criticisms, I did think there was definitely some room for improvement in the culinary department. I’ll get more into why in the next post. But anyway, Monday night’s dinner was mostly fine.

Once again, we got some side-eyes from the many Germans who were also staying at the hotel. That’s another thing I don’t like about half board deals. You end up eating with the same people and it can be uncomfortable, especially during a pandemic, when you’re an American and Americans aren’t supposed to be in Italy. We felt a little bit under the microscope at this hotel. However, the staff was excellent. Again, it’s family run. The facilities are also very nice. I just wish they’d planned a bit better regarding the rooms over the patio area (which are many of them). If you don’t want to hang out and drink after dinner, you either have to wait for everyone to go to bed for quiet or swelter with closed windows/doors. It’s not a very appealing tradeoff. I think I’d like this hotel more in the cooler months.

One guest’s opinions about the hotel. I wouldn’t go as far as a one star rating, but I did kind of agree with what s/he wrote. I don’t mind buffets, but I thought the food could have been better.

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