Tag Archives: living abroad

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Make new friends, lose the old…

This weekend has been a bust in terms of fun stuff. Although Christmas markets in Bavaria and Baden-Württemberg have been canceled, the one is Wiesbaden is apparently still on. We got some sun yesterday, but I was waiting for a package that didn’t arrive until late afternoon. Also, I had a feeling that attending the Christmas market would be more of a hassle than I cared to experience. Even before COVID-19 was an issue, I was never one to enjoy crowded fests. We did attend a lot of them in the past, but I am not a freak about them, like some people are.

A lot of places in Germany are now employing 2G plus measures, meaning that a person has to be either fully vaccinated or proven recovered from the virus, and even then, they have to get tested. I am fully vaccinated, but it’s about time for a booster. So we stayed home yesterday. Today, the weather is crappy, so I don’t feel like walking around outside, and I don’t feel like dealing with face masks indoors. I don’t know if we’ll go out today, but I tend to think we won’t. It’s already two o’clock, and it’s dark and cloudy outside. I can stay in my warm house, listen to cheesy soundtracks from 80s animated films, and write blog posts… no need for vaccine certs or face masks… or a bra.

Last night, a topic entered my head that I thought might be a good one for this blog. Originally, this blog was supposed to be a travel blog, but COVID-19 has made traveling harder. So now, it’s more of an American’s “life abroad” blog. And there’s something I’ve noticed after living abroad a few times. It’s that friendships don’t always survive the move back stateside.

At this point, Bill and I have lived in Germany this time for just over seven years. During that time, I’ve only been “home” once. Because we’re here with the U.S. government/military, I’ve seen a lot of people come and go. I sort of made “friends” with some people. And the vast majority of those friendships have now ended as those people have moved on with their lives.

I noticed the same thing happened in Armenia. I made friends with people there– other Americans– and once we no longer had Armenia in common, the friendship fizzled. Now that I think about it, this happens a lot even if you don’t live abroad. How many people were you once friends with at a job or in school that you never talk to anymore? Before social media existed, it happened all the time. Then, when we had Facebook, or its predecessor, MySpace (which I rarely used), suddenly we were “friends” again with people we hadn’t seen since 4th grade. Gradually, some of those connections faded for any number of reasons.

I guess it seems stranger that it happens when you meet people while living abroad. For many people, it’s a life changing event to move to another country. I know that every time I’ve done it, I’ve changed and grown in immeasurable ways. In some cases, it’s made it hard for me to relate to people with whom I used to identify a lot more strongly. For instance, there are certain friends and relatives with whom I probably can no longer discuss politics or religion. In the case of my relatives, they’ll always be family. There’s always a chance we’ll meet again… maybe at a funeral or a wedding or something. Friends, on the other hand, are more likely to fade away permanently.

I’m always a little bit sad when I lose contact with someone I once called a “friend”, even if they were just a social media friend. Maybe younger people have less of a problem with it than I do. I grew up at a time when friendships meant more. Or maybe it just seemed that way. We had fewer friends, because those relationships had to be cultivated in person. Now, you can be “friends” with anyone, anywhere in the world. In some ways, that’s a great thing. I have some dear friends that I have never met offline. And I have other friends I used to party with who are now in my past.

I decided to write about this today because I realized, with some sorrow, that I don’t even really want to try to make friends with people anymore. I don’t want to connect with someone, only to have the relationship eventually fizzle out. That’s kind of a bleak way to look at things. I’d rather not be so cynical. But I also really try to be a good friend, even if I can sometimes be a bit slow to trust people. That comes from being burned multiple times. It also comes from the idea that a lot of people don’t know how to take my personality. Maybe that’s why I’m so much more comfortable with dogs and horses.

Speaking of dogs… our Noyzi has really started to integrate into the family now. He likes to hang out with me on a little rug by our bed. I had originally put it there for Zane, to give him traction when he jumped on the bed. Now, it’s Noyzi’s little spot when I watch TV, as you can see in the featured photo. Sadly, the man who rescued him got angry with me a couple of months ago, because I didn’t want to get involved in a fundraiser he was trying to organize. I felt it was not a wise thing for me to do, because he didn’t seem to have the fundraiser set up completely, and some of his practices seemed kind of sketchy to me. He got angry with me and blocked me on Facebook, which makes me sad.

Even today, I was thinking about what a miracle it is that Noyzi was found by this man in Kosovo. If it wasn’t for him, Noyzi would, at best, still be living on the streets in Pristina. But he’s here in Germany, giving and receiving a lot of love. He was even named by this young man in Kosovo and I kept the name, though I would have made a different choice if I had been the one to name him originally. I would have liked to have been actual friends with this man, who gave us such a gift. But it didn’t work out, because I didn’t want to bend to his will. He accused me of “playing games”.

I realize I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I truly don’t go out of my way to screw over anyone. I don’t try to annoy or offend people. I’m just who I am, which is apparently too much for some people.

Lately, I’ve realized that living over here can be kind of lonely. I do miss some of my family members, although I doubt most of them miss me. I don’t know if or when we’ll be going back to our roots, but even if we did, I don’t think it would be the same… and I would probably just want to move again. Moving to the States with Noyzi would be quite a project, so I am hoping we can put it off for awhile.

Anyway… this turned out to be more of an introspective and joyless post than I intended it to be. I guess I’ll close this post and go hang out with Bill, who has already been in here twice to talk to me, even though he knows I’m writing. We have chicken and homemade rolls to eat. Last night’s dinner was definitely a better effort than our Thanksgiving dinner was. Hopefully, the holiday spirit will kick in… maybe I will even be arsed to go to a Christmas market before they all get canceled.

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Austria is locking down… will Germany be next?

The local news in Germany has been all abuzz about the COVID-19 situation in Austria. Fed up and frustrated by the ever increasing numbers of people falling ill with the coronavirus, Chancellor Alexander Schallenberg announced that Austria would be locking down for at least ten days. The lockdown will apply to everyone, vaccinated or not, and it means that Austrians will be asked to work from home and non-essential shops will close. Schools will remain open for children who require face-to-face learning. The measure will apply until December 12, and then the COVID situation will be reassessed at that point to determine if there should be another ten days of lockdown.

As I read the news yesterday, I realized how lucky Bill and I are that we managed to take our recent vacation and get through all of the countries unscathed. Croatia and Slovenia are considered “high risk” areas– higher risk than Austria was– but we didn’t interact with many people at all during our time there. I think the risk is mainly because fewer people are vaccinated, but the reality is, there aren’t that many people congregating in Slovenia or Croatia at this time of year and social distancing is actually super easy. That may change as winter approaches and people want to ski, at least in Slovenia.

Austria, on the other hand, was like 2019. During our trip, it wasn’t considered a “high risk” area. Masks were only required in grocery stores, on public transportation, and in healthcare facilities. I won’t lie. It was really nice. And, in fact, Salzburg and, to a lesser extent, Wels, were sort of “alive” with people, which was a morale booster. I’m not sure if the lax masking is the reason why this surge is happening. Germany is a lot stricter about masks, but people are still getting sick here, and the hospitals are full. Personally, I don’t think the masks are going to be what saves us. What needs to happen is mass immunity, and that will come as people get vaccinated and boosted, and others manage to recover from the illness. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people may get very sick and/or die in the process. The only way to avoid the risk is by staying away from other people.

Austria has also taken the unusual step of requiring everyone to get vaccinated by February 2022. Frankly, I don’t think that’s a bad decision. It’s certainly groundbreaking. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t agree with forcing people to do things, particularly when it involves healthcare. However, communicable diseases are different. With my background in public health, I already know that there are some public health situations that require detaining people who put others at risk. On my main blog, I have written about how I think COVID-19 could eventually become an illness like tuberculosis. If you get TB and you refuse to get treated, you can and will be detained so that you don’t threaten other people. Many of us are really sick and tired of COVID-19, and the way it’s disrupting normal living. It’s also costing the world’s economies a lot in lost business, and like it or not, money matters. I don’t think people should be surprised if the rules become more draconian in an effort to get rid of the scourge.

Bavarian state premier, Markus Söder, who is a champion of the dreaded FFP2 masks for everyone, everywhere, has already declared a “de facto lockdown for the unvaccinated”. All of the Christmas markets have been cancelled, and all bars and clubs will be closed for the next three weeks. In areas where “weekly incidence rates top 1,000 per 100,000 people – restaurants, hotels, sport and culture will also close.” I believe the rules in Germany recently changed, as Angela Merkel plans to leave office. Now, they’re letting the states decide, rather than the federal government. I think I might enjoy the incoming government. I read that they’re also considering making recreational cannabis use legal. I never thought I’d see the day. I have limited experience with pot, having only tried it in The Netherlands a few years ago. But I did enjoy the experience…

I will not be the least bit surprised if other countries take a similar approach against the virus. It really sucks that this is happening, since Christmas is approaching. I do have some hope, though, because this year, at least there are vaccines. Some medications are also being developed to treat COVID-19– legitimate ones, rather than hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin. Historically speaking, pandemics always end at some point. So I continue to hold out hope that this one will end eventually… COVID-19 is a terrible illness, but it’s probably not even the worst humankind has faced, and nowadays, we have a lot more and better technology, which will continue to evolve out of necessity.

But yes… I sure am glad Bill and I managed to take our trip, enjoy ourselves, and emerge unscathed. We were very lucky. If there’s one thing COVID-19 has done for me, it’s make me a lot more appreciative of being able to travel.

Bill has been in Warsaw, Poland all this week, sadly missing our 19th anniversary at home. He brought home a few things for me last night. It would have been nice if I could have gone with him, but the COVID situation makes it dangerous. In fact, we were supposed to see James Taylor in Frankfurt in February, but he had to postpone his stop in Frankfurt until next November. With any luck, we’ll still be here and alive in November 2022. We’re supposed to see Keb’ Mo’ in May of 2022… but the tickets I bought were for a show that was supposed to happen on November 16, 2020– our 18th anniversary. So far, it’s been postponed three times. So we’ll see if we manage to see James in November 2022. I hope so. We have second row seats.

I was thinking maybe we’d go somewhere to celebrate our anniversary, now that Bill’s home… but I think we’re going to be locked down again very soon. So maybe we’ll just stay home and fuck or something. Just kidding… it’s more likely that we’ll turn on music, light a fire, and drink wine.

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The quest for housing in Stuttgart…

One hopes to find decent housing upon arrival in Germany… Stairwell living is like going to the dogs… (just kidding!)

 

I always get tickled when I see newcomers posting in our local Facebook groups, looking for housing ahead of time.  I definitely understand why they do what they do.  The prospect of looking for housing in a foreign country is daunting.  No one wants to live in a hotel for weeks on end, especially if there are kids or pets in the mix.  Bill and I have now moved to Germany twice and, both times, we spent weeks living in temporary quarters with two beagles (different ones each time).  I know how much that can suck.

In the fall of 2007, we lived at the Vaihinger Hof for about six weeks.  I’m not sure if the Vaihinger Hof is still operating.  The one thing it had going for it, besides extreme pet friendliness and tolerance, was that it was very close to Patch.  I also liked the people who were running it, although it was a very no frills hotel and not very clean.

The reason we were at the Vaihinger Hof, and not a military hotel, is that the military hotels were all booked solid.  This was before the Panzer Hotel existed; it was being built as we were leaving.  There were three smaller hotels on Robinson, Patch, and Kelley, and all three were full.  We might have preferred the Marriott in Sindelfingen and, in fact, we spent our first night there.  But all they had available were the executive rooms, which were way more expensive than what we could afford.

In 2007, many of the housing units on the four installations in Stuttgart were being renovated.  There was absolutely no prayer that we would be living in a “stairwell apartment”.  So we started looking for a home to rent.  We put our faith in the housing office, which at the time, had a rather bad reputation.  I will stress that we were helped by the housing office and did find our first home in Germany through them– actually very quickly, if I recall correctly.  What kept us in the hotel for weeks was waiting for the landlord to get it ready for us.  He and his ex wife had gotten divorced, so he had many years of memories to sort through and relocate.  He also had to repaint the house before we could move in.  So we lived in the hotel, and tried many of the restaurants in downtown Vaihingen, because we had no kitchen facilities to speak of at the Vaihinger Hof.

Still, the Vaihinger Hof was a lot better than this place…

 

When we finally did move into our home in Pfäffingen, it was pretty far away from all the installations.  It turned out to be great for us, though, because we don’t have kids, and my husband doesn’t mind commuting.  I’m sure for other people who come to the Stuttgart area, the prospect of trying to find affordable housing close to work and school and with all the things Americans love in housing seems very difficult.  So they try to get a jump on it before they get here.

I won’t lie.  Finding a good house within your budget can be difficult and worrisome.  It’s a rite of passage we all go through.

I just want to say “I get it” to those in America who are stressing over housing in Germany, and trying to house hunt from the States.  I did the same thing both times.  Both times, we ended up living in rather obscure towns well outside of the American hot spots.  The first time, my husband ended up paying slightly more than the housing allowance he got from the Army.  The second time, in 2014, we found a less expensive place.  What we pay is well under what his company gives him for housing.  But again, we don’t have kids, and we don’t live close to the American action.  Actually, I kind of like it that way.

When we moved back here in 2014, we spent one week in a German hotel and then found a temporary apartment, where we stayed for three weeks until we could move into our current home.  We found both our house in Jettingen and the temporary apartment on Stuttgart Bookoo.  But, once you get here, you find that houses can be found in a variety of places.  In some ways, it’s a lot easier finding a home now than it was in 2007.  Facebook is a huge help.

When newcomers post in the local Facebook groups about finding housing, there’s often a tinge of eagerness, nervousness, and/or even a little bit of panic.  Although I know this advice is hard to hear and even harder to heed, I would NOT recommend trying to find a house before you get here.  The reason for that is that most decent houses get scarfed up very quickly.  This is a place where people are constantly coming and going, so rental housing availability varies on a daily basis.  There’s no sense in whetting your appetite for food you may never get to taste, right?  Also, if you’re military, there is a very real chance that you won’t get to live on the economy anyway, although again, the availability of government housing changes daily.

The most I would do is look for neighborhoods and communities you would be interested in seeing.  Don’t look at specific houses with a mind to rent them, though you might check out what they look like as a means of deciding what to bring with you.  Study the area and decide what you must have in order to be happy.  But, even as you do that, realize that you may very well end up somewhere else.  We did both times, and both times it turned out better than fine.

Don’t worry… your new home, whether on base or on the economy, will look better than this.

 

When people tell you that you might not be able to live off the installations, understand that they really are telling the truth.  If you are here with the military and housing is available, you’ll have to take it, make a very convincing case for why you can’t take it, or pay out of pocket for your housing off base.  Of course, some of the people telling you about this requirement may simply be slightly embittered because they live in stairwell housing and don’t like it.  On the other hand, other people actually seek housing in stairwells or move there against their will and end up loving it anyway.

Really, our community is mostly very friendly!  The people telling you not to get your hopes up about living on the economy are not “crushing your head” by telling you that you might have to live in a stairwell!

There are some advantages to stairwell living.  It’s close and convenient to all things American.  The commute is fairly easy.  It may be easier to make local friends.  You don’t have to worry about idiosyncrasies of German life, like dealing with landlords and neighbors who don’t speak English.  Of course, living in stairwells also means sharing walls, losing privacy, and communal living among people who may not share your sense of community pride.  But you can take heart in remembering that nothing is forever.  Even if your housing situation sucks, it’s only temporary.

The advice I would give to newcomers is to try not to stress too much about housing.  You really can’t control it too much from afar.  German landlords are usually fairly choosy, and they will want to meet you and your family before they rent to you.  Also, even if you look from afar, as we tend to do in the United States, you won’t get the best idea of what the neighborhood is like.  Bill and I made the mistake of looking from afar when we moved from Fort Bragg to Fort Sam Houston.  We visited the neighborhood, but weren’t able to see inside the house ahead of time and, instead, relied on pictures.  We were too eager to get out of the hotel and spent a year in a house we hated.  Fortunately, it was only for a year.  I will not make that mistake again (and hopefully I won’t have to, now that Bill is retired).

Instead of focusing on the house hunt, focus more on what you’ll be bringing and leaving behind.  Consider that German houses often lack closets and do not have open floor plans.  Kitchens tend to be small and the electric current is 220 rather than 110.  I would recommend stocking up on dual voltage electronics and consider leaving 110 appliances in the States.  Ditto to bulky furniture.  Rooms in German homes are usually smaller and may not accommodate your big couch or television.  We do have two king sized beds in our house.  In fact, king beds may even be easier than queens, since they have split box springs.  Bear in mind that your staircase may be spiral and your doorways could be narrow.  And don’t forget to bring your seasonal stuff if that’s important to you.  The first time we lived here, we forgot our Christmas decorations.  I now have two trees and decorations for both.  When we leave, I suspect one or both of our fake trees will be left behind.

Well, that’s about it for my take on looking for a home in Germany.  Don’t worry.  You’ll find somewhere to live, and chances are good that it’ll end up being just great.  Or, at least it will be habitable for as long as you’re enjoying STAUgart!  Welcome to the community and enjoy Germany!

*The photos above were taken when I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in the Republic of Armenia from 1995-97.  The buildings pictured were in the city of Gyumri, which was hit by a terrible earthquake on December 7, 1988.  As you can see, the buildings were still in a shambles in 1996 and ’97, when those photos were taken.  I have not been back to Armenia yet, but I’m thinking it’s looking better now.  

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The German trash system…

I wrote this two weeks after I posted about our first two months in Germany.  I was feeling a little flummoxed about the way things are done in Deutschland.  I’m not sure I ever did quite get the hang of the trash system.  ETA: In 2020, now I know…

Five trashy things in Germany I haven’t yet figured out…

Nov 30, 2007 (Updated Dec 3, 2007)

The Bottom Line Someday, before we go back to the States, I hope I will have mastered the rubbish system here in Germany.

My husband Bill and I have now been living in Germany for about ten weeks. During that time, our bodies have become accustomed to the new time zone. Our eyes have become used to the new landscape, which actually looks a lot like the beautiful Shenandoah Valley in Virginia, where my family is from. Our intestines have gotten acclimated to the new water and food. I know this is TMI, but I, for one, have only suffered from a truly nasty case of traveller’s diarrhea once since our arrival. Wish I could say that about my time in Armenia about ten years ago.

Anyway, I think Bill and I have gotten used to a lot of things in Germany. Unfortunately, there are still a few things we haven’t yet gotten the hang of…

5. Our compost heap- It seems that many of our German neighbors are fond of composting their natural waste. It makes sense and of course, makes for some great topsoil for the spring. We have a compost heap in our back yard. I sort of get the concept of it. It looks like a tall wooden crate/box divided into two parts and surrounded by chicken wire. Bill says we’re supposed to put natural waste like leaves, rotten fruits and vegetables, coffee grounds, grass clippings, and animal excrement on the heap. Then, on a regular basis, we’re supposed to rotate the heap so that the stuff turns into nice soil. Well, suffice it to say, our heap is a mess. It’s not entirely our fault. It was a mess when we moved in. We thought we’d be living in an apartment when we moved here, so we didn’t bring our garden tools and haven’t gotten around to buying new ones yet. Consequently, the compost heap is close to overflowing and I’m really missing our good old fashioned trash compactor.

4. The concept of residual waste- Here in Germany, trash must be separated into several different categories. That’s different than how it is in the United States, where we have big bins to put all of our trash and a separate container for all recyclables. Our landlord was kind enough to tell Bill where he needed to go to get our container for so-called “residual waste” after he paid about ten euro for a sticker from the local government. Bill came back with a short, squatty little plastic container that looks like it can handle about twelve liters of “residual waste”. He put the government sticker on the little trash can said the container was given to us based on the needs of our landlord’s family over the years. At first, I was pretty perplexed, but then I realized the little can was only for “residual waste”, and not for paper, natural garbage, plastic, metal, or glass. Apparently there aren’t too many things that really qualify as “residual waste” and that’s why the can is so small. The only problem is, I haven’t yet figured out exactly what residual waste is if it’s not any of the aforementioned things.

3. The trash schedule- Back home, our trash was picked up on Mondays and Thursdays. The truck picked up bulk items and recyclables as well as regular trash on Mondays, while Thursdays were just for regular trash. Frankly, we didn’t really need to have our trash picked up so often. Here in our little German town, however, different kinds of trash are picked up on different days. One day, only paper can be collected. Another day, it’s residual waste. Another day, it’s plastic and metal. And God help you if you screw up and put the wrong type of trash out on the wrong day. That’s a big no no!

2. Bulk items and packaging our trash- Bill and I moved into our house about a month ago and our stuff was packed in lots and lots of cardboard boxes. It took about a week to unpack everything. Thank God we didn’t bring all of our stuff. After we were done, we were left with plenty of flattened boxes. Our landlord told us that we could order bulk items to be picked up. Bill noticed that people would leave their cardboard boxes out when it was time for paper to be picked up, but never a big pile like what we have. And I wonder, if I put out my paper, is it okay to put it in a plastic sack? Or will I get yelled at in German for that?

1. The Gelbe Sack- For some reason, when it’s time to pack up our plastic and metal trash, it’s all supposed to go in a special yellow plastic sack called the Gelbe Sack. The Gelbe Sack looks like a thin yellow Hefty bag. We load all of qualifying trash into the bag and set it out for the trash collectors on the appointed date set on a special calendar. I wonder why plastic and metal gets a special sack, but other types of trash don’t. It seems like it would make life easier for us idiots who need special help to figure out the trash situation here in Germany. I also wonder what I’m supposed to do with trash that qualifies as paper and plastic. What about those cartons that are mostly made of paper but have a plastic spout? Or worse, what if they’re made of paper and foil and have a plastic spout? Which trash container should something like that go in? Or is that residual waste?

After a few trial and error missions, we did finally figure out what to do with our glass and plastic bottles. Racks of bottles can be taken to local stores, where they get fed into a machine that spits out a receipt. The receipt can be used against the deposit for a new rack of bottles of beer, soda, water, or what have you. It’s actually pretty cool. Turning in our bottles reminds me of dumping out spare change at the CoinStar. The machine senses how many bottles there are, what they’re made of, and gives you a chit accordingly. For loose bottles and containers, there’s a neighborhood place where glass bottles can be dropped off. The drop off bin requires people to separate the glass by color. But since dropping off glass bottles can be noisy, it’s not supposed to be done during German quiet hours or on Sundays. We haven’t yet found the drop off in our neighborhood, but when we do, I hope it’s at an appropriate time of day!

Bill and I talked to our landlord about our confusion last week. He took us out to dinner at a charming restaurant in Tubingen, which is the city closest to where we live. The landlord chuckled and said that Germans separate all of their garbage, but no one knows if it actually gets recycled or someone just burns it. I thought that was a pretty funny comment.

As for now, I told Bill that we need to come up with some sort of system. We’ve got a bunch of different trash bags in our house and two big trash cans. Stuff gets all intermingled and when it’s time to take out the trash, it’s a big mess. We need one of those compartmentalized bins that will make it easier to separate everything. As it is right this moment, I’m up to @ss in different kinds of rubbish and it’s making me feel like garbage!

Another view from our yard…  I really miss Germany!
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Our first two months in Germany…

I wrote this two months after we moved to Germany in 2007.  As it is a personal essay about our lives overseas, it seems fitting to repost it here before Epinions goes away forever.  Hope you enjoy… and I hope I can write about a new travel experience sooner rather than later.

Our first two months in Germany…

Nov 16, 2007 (Updated Nov 17, 2007)

The Bottom Line Every new country brings with it a wealth of different experiences, good and bad.

Today is a very important day for me and my husband, Bill. First of all, today is our fifth wedding anniversary. That’s right. Five years ago today, it was a rainy Saturday morning and Bill and I took the plunge into holy matrimony on the campus of Virginia Military Institute. I re-entered life as a military dependent and Bill gave marriage another try. Happy anniversary, Bill. You are the love I never thought I’d find.

Today is also an important day because it happens to mark the end of our second month in Stuttgart, Germany. I am not a stranger to living life abroad. Before I lived in Germany, I also lived in England and the Republic of Armenia. Granted, I lived in England as a small child; my first memories are of my dad’s swan song as an Air Force lieutenant colonel based at Mildenhall Air Force Base. I lived in Armenia as a Peace Corps Volunteer, where I tried to work to better other people’s lives while I tried to better my own. And now, I’m living in Germany as my husband’s spouse. I don’t have any specific purpose for being here, other than to be a family member.

Because I had both lived abroad before and traveled through Germany, I thought I would have some idea of what to expect. But the truth is, every country is different, and with every different country one experiences, a certain amount of adjustment is to be expected. It seems to me that no matter how much I prepare for that initial culture shock, it still happens.

We left the United States on September 16th. It was just me and Bill and our two beagles, Flea and MacGregor. I was worried about flying with the dogs, but they probably handled the flight better than I did. We landed at the big airport in Frankfurt in mid morning. I was tired, hungry, and cranky. I was not able to sleep on the flight thanks to the seat kicker sitting behind me and the reclining dude sitting in front of me. I was also not able to stomach the airline cuisine served on United Airlines.

Once we got off the airplane, our first concern was finding Flea and MacGregor. Bill approached an airport official to find out where the oversized baggage was being offloaded. He needn’t have bothered. As it turned out, all we needed to do was follow the sound of Flea’s incessant howling, which could be heard all through the baggage claim. We found our two dogs being watched over by a couple of confused looking Germans who welcomed us to take the dogs out of their custody.

A very efficient veterinary inspector came over to check the dogs’ paperwork and make sure they were microchipped. We passed inspection, but she admonished us to get bigger carriers for our dogs if we planned to fly them back to the U.S. As we soon found out, Germans love their animals, especially dogs. As long as they’re well-behaved, that is.

Bill had gone to get us a rental car and I was left with a mountain of luggage and the two dogs. Flea was pitching a big fit about being in his carrier. MacGregor, by contrast, was happy as a clam in his little portable den. He was able to watch the world go by at a safe distance. Flea was howling up a storm, causing people to give me looks that ranged from the quizzical to the annoyed. At first, I thought it would be more practical to keep the dogs in their crates so that I could keep my hands free. But Flea was so upset that I finally pulled him out of the carrier and put him on his leash. He searched the crowds of people, looking for Bill and howling only slightly less. A couple of intrepid Germans tried to converse with me about the dogs, but alas, I don’t speak the language. Thank God MacGregor was laid back in the airport.

It wasn’t long before Bill and I were ready to head south toward Stuttgart. I was plenty happy to let Bill tackle driving on the autobahn. By the time we started the trip to Stuttgart, my body was starting to give in to the need for sleep. I sat in the front seat of our rented minivan and dozed, alternately trying to get a radio station I liked. I chose a station that seemed okay and dozed off for a few minutes, only to wake up with an annoyed start.

“Every song on this station sounds like a Mentos commercial!” I snapped, as I searched for a station that would play American classic rock. Those who like German pop music, please forgive me for my initial violent reaction. Bear in mind, at this point I was sleep deprived, hungry, and decidedly irritable. We hadn’t had a chance to get a snack in the airport because we were in a hurry to put an end to Flea’s concert in the baggage claim. Peppy German pop music was the last thing I wanted to hear at that point.

We finally got to the Stuttgart area, but Bill got lost trying to find Patch Barracks, which is where our sponsor’s wife was supposed to meet us. When we did finally find the post, we found that our sponsor’s wife had stood us up. It wasn’t really her fault. We were a little later than we expected to be, mainly because we were looking for Vaihingen and it turns out there are a couple of places called Vaihingen near Stuttgart. Bill went to the military police checkpoint and called someone from his new office, who helped us find the Marriott hotel.

Flea and MacGregor were well received at the Marriott. One elderly gentleman seemed particularly enchanted with Flea. He stroked him over and over again, giving him lots of affection. We spent less than 24 hours at the Marriott, but it was long enough for us to find out that finding housing in the Stuttgart area can be quite a challenge for many people. I spoke to one lady who said she’d been housed in that hotel for over five weeks.

The next day, we moved into a German hotel, run by an affable man of Albanian descent who had grown up in Montenegro. The staff was a lot of fun to watch because they behaved like a big dysfunctional family. The Hotel Vaihinger Hof is very popular with Americans because it’s very close to Patch Barracks and relatively cheap. My initial reaction to the hotel was not a favorable one, but it grew on me quickly, mainly because I liked the staff. There was a young guy who worked there as a handyman who loved both of our dogs, even MacGregor, who is very shy and will rarely let strangers pet him. The handyman was also very fond of hanging out in the hotel restaurant and drinking a lot of the excellent German draft beer. Luckily, he was a friendly and funny drunk.

Bill and I spent six weeks at the Vaihinger Hof and over the course of those weeks, we witnessed a wide variety of guests. The most exciting ones would have to be the Polish professional cycling team who stayed an entire week. They pretty much took over the hotel and its parking lot, setting up a training area where they practiced riding on stationary bicycles. We could tell the Polish cyclists were stressing out the innkeeper because they were dumping strange chemicals into the drainage system and using up a lot of water and electricity.

I overheard the maid complaining about one room getting really trashed because a couple of the cyclists had indulged in too much alcohol. It wasn’t long before I learned the word –krank– the German word for sick. The maid used it several times as she spoke emphatically and publicly about the trashed room. The cyclists also left evidence of being krank in the hotel’s parking lot… Unfortunately, I had to restrain Flea and MacGregor from trying to help clean up the mess.

A couple of weeks after that, I became krank myself with my first nasty cold/flu. The hotel staff was very nice to me. The maid, who spoke no English, would ask me every morning how I was. One night, the restaurant staff put together a huge tray of food for us when Bill went down to ask them if he could get some food to take to me. I was too sick to eat in the restaurant. Flea and MacGregor were plenty excited that they could share our scraps. They’re still not civil enough to go to restaurants with us.

There was another American family staying at the hotel with us. They had been in the hotel since August. At this writing, that same family is still living at the Vaihinger Hof. They have found a house, but it’s not available until the first of the year. The wife in this family is a dentist by training, but now spends her days homeschooling her three kids in the three hotel rooms allocated to them. We both commiserated. Sometimes living in a hotel can make one feel a bit like a refugee.

Bill and I spent a lot of time watching international CNN at first, but for some reason, we lost CNN about halfway through our stay. Flipping through the German stations on our TV, we noticed a few familiar American shows dubbed into German, as well as some German shows that seemed to be based on American concepts. For instance, we found a German version of America’s Got Talent. We also found a fascinating German reality show called Our New Life, which featured stories about German families who moved to other countries. And we became fans of the German version of the game show, Cash Cab, which is called Quiz Taxi here. Watching German TV is not a bad way to pick up a few words of German here and there.

When it comes to finding a home, Bill and I have been luckier than some of our American colleagues. With the help of the extremely overworked and understaffed housing office at Panzer Barracks, we managed to find a beautiful home in the little town of Ammerbuch-Pfaffingen. Bill signed the lease in mid October, but we could not move in until the first of November. In accordance with German law, our new home had to be painted before we could take possession of it. By the end of October, Bill and I had found several favorite restaurants in the vicinity of the Vaihinger Hof.

We would often go to a lovely restaurant called Pizzeria Michelle when we were in the mood for good Italian food. As far as we could tell, the place was run by an Italian family. There was one lovely lady who served us every time we ate there. It was this lady who introduced me to the wonders of panna cotta, a dessert I had never experienced before we came to Germany.

We also found a great Greek place, where the owner would always greet us with a hearty Guten Abend! when we’d come in for an evening meal. The first time we ate there, I ordered an expensive fish dish. It seemed that not many people ordered this particular fish. We waited a long time the entree to come out, but when it finally did, I was very impressed. The owner brought it out, showing it off to a few other patrons as he brought it to our table with much fanfare. The fish had been slowly grilled whole and was accented with a delicious balsamic vinegar sauce. It was a wonderful treat. We would visit that restaurant again several times and each time, I’d order a different fish dish, satisfying my cravings for delights from the water.

And yes, we had a favorite German restaurant, too, where I enjoyed wonderful duck adorned with mandarin oranges and sauteed vegetables. We quaffed fantastic dunkelweizen beer, while Bill enjoyed his tender sauerbraten. We ate some good food in October, but to be honest, Bill and I got pretty sick of eating in restaurants. We both like to cook and neither of us needs the extra calories that come from restaurant meals.

Now, we’re living in our house. Our landlord is a very nice guy who speaks English beautifully. I can stand on our deck and look out over a vast field. To the east, there’s a big hill with a church atop it. To the south, there’s another hill where horses graze. I can see a riding school from my windows, which is bittersweet sight for me, since I spent my childhood riding horses and haven’t been in the saddle on a consistent basis since 1990.

At this point, we’re still trying to figure out the trash system and get used to driving in Germany. I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say in the coming weeks about our cross-cultural experiences. For now, it’s just interesting to take in all of the different sights and sounds of our host country… and marvel at the fact that there’s already snow on the ground in November!

The view from our backyard in Germany.  Wurmlinger Chapel is on the hill.
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Uncategorized

Want to retire overseas?

I published this book review in 2012 and given that Bill and I are  hoping to move abroad again, I figure I ought to repost it here before I lose it.  Kathleen Peddicord has also spent lots of time living abroad and published a very helpful book for people who want to retire overseas.  If you are dreaming of a home in another country, give it a look!

Tomorrow, I will post some fresh content and a review.  Bill and I enjoyed a fun evening out with old friends and I have lots of pictures.

Been thinking about retiring overseas? Have I got a book for you!

Jun 3, 2012 (Updated Jun 8, 2012)
Review by    is a Top Reviewer on Epinions in Books

Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Well-written, encouraging, enthusiastic book about retiring overseas.

Cons:Book’s information is more broad than deep.  Will eventually be dated.

The Bottom Line:We’re not quite ready to retire overseas, but this book has enhanced our dreams about it!

My husband Bill and I have both been fortunate enough to experience living overseas.  Bill has lived in Germany twice, courtesy of the U.S. Army.  I have lived in Germany, England, and Armenia, courtesy of the Army, Air Force, and the Peace Corps respectively.  For many reasons, we both love being expats.  We both love to travel and enjoy the challenges that come from living in a different country.  We love seeing new things and meeting different kinds of people.  And we both have a strong case of wanderlust, even though neither of us thinks the moving process is any fun.

Lately, Bill and I have gotten hooked on the HGTV show House Hunters International, a television program about American couples who are looking to buy housing in different countries.  Every week, there’s an episode or two about a couple making a new start in a new place and shopping for that all important first thing– a home!  In the spirit of that show, I started looking for books about retiring overseas and ran across How to Retire Overseas: Everything You Need to Know to Live Well (for Less) Abroad.  Published byKathleen Peddicord in 2010, this book, available in both print and Kindle editions, is all about how to retire overseas.

What would motivate a person to leave the good old USA?Some Americans can’t even fathom the idea of moving abroad.  Their minds immediately start reflecting on the logistical difficulties of such a plan.  Many people wonder how they will get along not knowing the local language or being far away from family and friends.  However, as Peddicord points out, there are plenty of good reasons to retire overseas.  First and foremost is the fact that the dollar goes a lot further in many parts of the world than it does here at home.  Less expensive medical and dental care alone is one good reason some people opt to move abroad.  In some areas, a Social Security check is enough to provide for food, housing, medical care, and even household help.

Many people move abroad because their employment requires it.  Indeed, Peddicord initially moved from Maryland to Waterford, Ireland because her employer wanted her in Ireland.  That was her first experience living abroad and she had the usual hiccups getting used to the Irish way of life.  Then she was moved to Paris, France, where she and her family had to adapt once again.  And then the family moved yet again, this time to Panama City, Panama, where evidently, they still live.

What subjects does this book cover?In her confident, conversational writing style, Kathleen Peddicord lists some of her top picks for Americans wanting to live abroad.  All of the places she and her family have lived make the list, probably because she knows intimately what it’s like to move to those countries.  Peddicord also includes other countries she hasn’t lived in.  She gives her reasons for each suggestion, along with warnings about pitfalls that may pop up along the way.

Peddicord even includes a handy chart at the back of the book, showing approximately how much her suggested countries would cost per month and what expenses the money would go to.   She also includes a Frequently Asked Questions section with top questions posed by would-be overseas retirees.

Caveats

One thing I noticed when I was reading this book is that it’s largely based on Peddicord’s own experiences.  Therefore, a lot of her information is a bit biased.  I didn’t get the sense that she interviewed a lot of people to get a broader perspective.  Moreover, this book is probably best suited for people who are just starting to think about moving overseas for retirement.  Peddicord’s tone is very enthusiastic and encouraging, but I don’t think this book goes into quite enough detail for people who have really narrowed down their choices and are about to take the plunge.

Overall

I enjoyed reading Kathleen Peddicord’s book, How to Retire Overseas.  I think it’s best used as a first book for getting a general idea about what moving abroad entails.  Then, if Peddicord has sold you on the idea of leaving the US in favor of another country, look for other, more detailed resources to make the move actually happen.  Also, any information you get from this book should be verified by resources that are frequently and easily updated.  Books have a way of quickly becoming dated.

For more information: http://www.kathleenpeddicord.com/

Buy How to Retire Overseas: Everything You Need to Know to Live Well (for Less) Abroad from Amazon.com.
As an Amazon Associate, I get a small commission from Amazon on sales made through my site.
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anecdotes

Death and taxes…

Yesterday, I read a rather sobering article about how many expatriate Americans are renouncing their citizenship.  A lot of them are doing it because of new tax laws that target Americans living abroad.  The new laws have made it very inconvenient and unpleasant for Americans trying to file their taxes while they live out of the country.  A lot of banks in other countries are not wanting to do business with Americans anymore, because of these new laws that require them to report any accounts owned by Americans so that they can be properly taxed.

America is one of the few countries that forces people to declare income earned worldwide.  Consequently, a lot of people end up paying taxes in their host country and to the United States.  They also have to hire professional tax preparers to straighten out the convoluted paperwork for them.  That gets old, especially if you’ve made a life abroad and don’t want to go back to the United States.  So to escape the taxes and the invasion of privacy, some expats are changing their citizenship.  While some are able to do it without a second thought, others are finding the decision to be very heart wrenching.

Lest you think renouncing your citizenship is easy or inexpensive, bear in mind that ditching your US passport is not free.  You have to pay to exit America.  They get you coming and going.

I have not given any thought to renouncing my US citizenship… yet, anyway.  I am American born and bred and I try not to be ashamed of that fact.  However, I can’t help but understand why people from other countries are disgusted by some of the laws we’ve passed and actions we’ve taken that affect other countries.  The law forcing international banks to report on their American customers is especially disrespectful, particularly when it violates the host country’s own laws.  Moreover, the law, which was supposedly intended to bust wealthy people sheltering their money abroad, is affecting wealthy folks less than it does regular folks who just want to live abroad.  If you can’t find a local bank who will work with you, that makes it pretty tough to live in another country.

Bill and I would really like to live abroad again.  We enjoy the challenges of living in another country.  We also love to travel.  We’re both proud Americans, but if we end up living abroad for more than a few years, these tax laws could end up being a serious pain in the ass.  We will have to do some research as to how we can live with these laws or even if we’ll want to deal with it.

So much for the land of the free and the home of the brave, right?

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adventure

Old friends…

One very cool thing about today is that we have Facebook.  Granted, Facebook can lead to a lot of problems for a lot of people, particularly those who don’t use their privacy settings.  It can also lead to hurt feelings.  I resisted joining Facebook for a long time, until an old friend talked me into it.  Oddly enough, she seems to have dropped off Facebook.

Anyway, the other day, I looked up a guy I knew in Armenia who had been a Peace Corps Volunteer in Russia, back when Russia still needed some help.  He later got a job in Armenia while I was there and we ended up becoming friends.  I taught business English at his place of business and he also rented an apartment from an Armenian friend of mine whom I met while singing in a choir.

His former landlady is probably one of the best piano players I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing live.  We used to get together on Saturdays.  She’d practice her English and we’d practice music.  She was a neat lady, though a bit on the eccentric side.  My friend who rented her apartment told me horror stories of cleaning it up.

I sent this guy a friend request and he remembered me!  I always worry that someone either won’t remember me or will think I’m too annoying to be friends with.  But anyway, he’s a good guy… still lives abroad and has had some very interesting assignments as an expat.  Twenty years ago, I wanted to be back in the States, but now I realize that I envy people who can live abroad.

One of the reasons I like living abroad is that you often end up meeting people you would never meet otherwise.  When you are a minority, you end up running into people who are like you… perhaps people you would not meet if you both lived in your homeland.  Sometimes that’s a bad thing, of course.  You can run into assholes you might wish you’d never laid eyes on.  But sometimes you end up meeting folks who are very intelligent, talented, and interesting.  Of course, you might also meet other expats from other countries, too.  I bumped into folks from all over the world when I lived abroad.

Once you’ve done that and survived it, you kind of crave it again… or at least I do.  I miss being out of the country, even though it can be a pain in the butt to live somewhere else.  I remember being sad when my husband told me we were moving to Germany because I realized it would be a logistical pain.  But once we got there and got settled, I really loved being abroad and didn’t look forward to leaving.  Living abroad is a challenge… and it can lead to great bonding experiences with other people.

I hope we get to do it again someday…

I met this gentleman in Armenia in 1995.  We were near Lake Sevan and he was kind enough to let me photograph him.
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