Last night, Bill tagged me in an article he shared on Facebook that was on CNN. He wanted me to read it because we have had the ability to travel a lot and have stayed in a lot of hotels, some of which were really cool. But I read the article and my mind ended up going in a completely different direction.
Susie Crane, author of the article entitled “Why sex is better in hotels– and other confessions of a constant traveler”, is apparently very blessed. She and her husband spent about two years traveling the world and staying in a series of luxury hotels. Crane explains that she met her man in the lobby of the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. Their next three dates were in Venice, Big Sur, and Milan, respectively. All of their biggest moments were spent in hotels… not Motel 6s, mind you, but luxury properties where there are beautiful views, blackout curtains, and perfectly pressed sheets.
Though Crane and her husband are clearly jet setters, they also apparently have homes in Italy, Uruguay, Argentina, California, and New Zealand. After reading her article, I kind of wonder if she counts hotels as “homes”… that’s a lot of property for someone who never goes home. But I guess she and her husband must be rich. Or maybe their “homes” abroad are just shacks. Somehow, I doubt it.
I read the comments related to this article and noticed that quite a lot of people felt the author was “vapid” and “spoiled”. Indeed, given the current employment climate, I can see why people were annoyed by the article and the author’s boasting about staying in really nice hotels. But what got me was when she wrote about having sex on a dining room table at The Ring Hotel in Vienna, Austria.
Sex requires surfaces, and if the surface of your partner never changes, the location can add the variety you crave.
At The Ring Hotel in Vienna we were once given a magnificent suite with an enormous dining table that we eyed lustfully.
If we were at home, such escapades never would have happened: naked on the table where we’d eat Thanksgiving dinner?
And my first thought was that it seemed odd that the author would object to having sex on her own dining room table, which she had presumably kept clean and knew what or who had been on it, but would happily screw on a hotel dining table where lots of people may have gotten the idea to do the nasty. If you have a wild idea to do something crazy in a hotel room, chances are good someone else has too. Just sayin’.
To her credit, Crane does mention that she’s probably not the only one who has had sex on unconventional surfaces in hotels, but just like Scarlett O’Hara, she decides not to think about that. Frankly, I’d rather have sex in a bed than on a table. Guess I’m not as adventurous as Susie Crane is. And now that I know that she enjoys having sex on dining room tables in hotel rooms, I guess I might think twice about eating a meal on one… That is, if I ever stay in a hotel room that posh.
The truth is, though, I don’t remember ever having sex in a hotel room. I thought I might on my wedding night, but I was a virgin on the big day and we stayed in a really nice B&B. I started to think about what could happen and decided I’d rather do the big deed in my own bed. Then, a few hours after the ceremony, I promptly started my period. Couple that with Bill’s headache because he neglected to eat at the reception, and you have a couple of people who weren’t feeling all that sexy on the day we tied the knot.
Probably the best comment on the article is this one…
This is so incredibly out of touch, privileged, and just creepy enough to force me to leave this comment…please stop writing. I mean completely. Just stop. You’re truly a vapid, spoiled individual.
Not surprisingly, it was voted the top comment and has over 2300 “likes”. 23 people thought it was a sucky comment and voted it down. The down voters accuse the up voters of being “jealous”. That’s probably a fair enough assessment. On the other hand, I notice that the author also writes fiction, which explains why her article has such a breathless quality. She’s probably written more than a few sex scenes in her fiction… That’s probably why I prefer to read non-fiction.
Anyway, I don’t think sex in hotel rooms is that much better… even though I’ve never experienced it. I’d rather do that in my own home and my own bed, where I won’t bother anyone if things get noisy or messy. Not that they ever do…
I’m gonna stop now. 😉