I had an interesting experience last week, after I reviewed our recent stay at Hilton Istanbul Maslak on TripAdvisor.com. I wrote a very detailed review about our stay and included pictures. I gave the hotel at four star rating, although if I’m honest, maybe it should have been more like 3.5 stars. A couple of hours later, I got this message from TripAdvisor, with the subject line “One more question about Hilton Istanbul Maslak”.
Biased content from moi?
I have been reviewing hotels on TripAdvisor since 2008. At this writing, I’ve written 210 reviews and gotten 314 helpful votes from the community. All you have to do is read the review and notice the many details of it, and it’s pretty obvious that it’s not a fake review. I took the two question survey, anyway. Basically, they asked me if I’d been compensated in any way for my review of the property. I responded that I hadn’t, and that was that. This was the first time I’ve ever gotten such a survey from TripAdvisor. I was surprised and a little puzzled by it.
Now, I suspect anyone who reviews that particular hotel gets this survey, which really doesn’t offer any incentive for being honest. TripAdvisor claims that they don’t “tolerate” fake reviews, which is why they sent the survey. But what’s to stop someone from lying? Especially if they get payment or some other reward for writing a review? It’s not like the person who got paid $10 for a review is going to be honest about it so the review gets removed.
Today, I went back to see if any new reviews had been posted since mine, which I wrote about a week ago. Right now, I count eleven reviews ahead of mine. Ten are very new reviews, and one is the hotel’s “favorite” review, a five star rating from someone in Frankfurt, posted last June. I notice that most of the new reviews are very short, lack detail, and come from people who have never before posted on TripAdvisor and appear to live in or near Istanbul. I notice a couple of them specifically mention a certain employee.
I know I probably shouldn’t be surprised about this. It seems like most things that start out pretty good eventually turn to shit, as businesses decide that money is the most important thing. But this is the first time I’ve noticed how very obvious the so-called fake reviews are… and it was TripAdvisor itself that pointed it out to me by sending me that bullshit “survey”.
I do still think TripAdvisor is useful. I always make a point of reading the reviews that aren’t five star and consider those over the super short five star ratings. Hilton Istanbul Maslak is a very nice hotel, but I don’t think it rates the inflated 4.8 stars it currently has. There are some obvious drawbacks to staying there that travelers should know about. Moreover, sometimes a good one star review can be extremely entertaining reading and draw more readers to a site.
I always put my true opinions about the places I stay in my travel blog. I know not everyone cares to read the blog, but I’m just pointing out that the information is out there. I’m sure I’m not the only one who writes honest reviews, either. It’s a shame that the hotel industry doesn’t consider that real information is useful to them, and helps them find consumers who will be happy with what they offer. And it’s a shame that TripAdvisor is not being honest about their pledge not to tolerate fake reviews.
I write my reviews in the spirit of how I used to review things on Epinions.com, which really was a site where people posted their honest (and usually very well-written) opinions. It’s too bad that site went under. It was truly valuable. I also met some great people there and made money, not because I got paid by people to promote their products, but because I earned ad revenue from people who hit the site to get honest information.
I also think YouTube can be a good source of information. There are some good content creators out there who really do a great job in showing what you get for your money. Currently, one of my favorites is Walk With Me Tim, who stays in different types of properties all over the world.
Anyway… this is just something I noticed today. I realize it’s been a problem for awhile, but this was the first time it affected me, personally. Be careful out there!
Here’s a reposted book review from my Epinions days about an Irish woman who traveled to Orlando, Florida to work at the Swan and Dolphin resort. I’m reposting it to keep it from being lost to the Internet hinterlands. Since this book is somewhat about travel, I’m posting it here instead of on my main blog.
Irish girl meets life in Orlando, Florida…
Review by knotheadusc in Books, Music, Hotels & Travel
October, 23 2011
Pros: Basically entertaining and interesting. I like Howard’s writing style.
God bless the Kindle. It’s introduced me to all sorts of new writers, including one Catherine Ryan Howard, an Irish lass who decided to ditch her homeland for a year in sunny Orlando, Florida and then chronicle her time in an e-book called Mousetrapped: A Year and a Bit in Orlando, Florida. Howard published her book in January of 2011 and I read it over the course of a very pleasant Sunday spent in bed.
The premise Catherine Ryan Howard writes that she had always fancied herself a famous virologist, in part, owing to the books and movies that came out about biological terrorism in the 1990s. Alas, she lacked the grades and the tenacity to pursue her dreams of scientific glory. As a young woman in Ireland, she was attempting to launch into adulthood in fits and starts that included a very brief stint in university and some time in the Netherlands. When she realized she wasn’t getting anywhere in her quest for independence, Howard did what so many others before her have done. She went to Disney World.
Okay… so actually, Howard did not go to Disney World. She went to the Swan and Dolphin resort in Orlando, which is supposedly very close to Mickey Mouse’s fabled empire. Curiously, Howard refers to the resort as the Duck and Tuna, which I’m guessing she does to avoid litigation. In any case, Mousetrapped is somewhat misleadingly titled, since Howard doesn’t actually work for Disney on her J-1 visa. Since I don’t care that much about Disney, I wasn’t too upset about the slightly misnamed book. I got caught up in her story, anyway. I could sort of relate to it on several levels.
Life in the USA
In witty prose, Catherine Ryan Howard explains how she turned up at her new place of employment, hoping to meet the very eager recruiter who had been corresponding with her about her new job. In true American corporate style, Howard’s recruiter turned out to be far less enthusiastic than she seemed to be in writing. Howard describes how she is given a free hotel room for the first few days while she finds a new place to live, applies for a Social Security card, and figures out the logistics of living without benefit of a car.
Howard takes an overpriced apartment at a complex within walking distance of her place of employment. She writes of having to do two hour walking commutes to her job in Florida heat until she finally makes friends with a German who has a car. Howard also writes of temporarily sharing her apartment with other women from Kazakhstan and the Philippines with varying levels of success. Before too long, it becomes clear that Howard needs to get a car. A car would allow her to run errands, take cheaper housing, and hang out with a different crowd. But first, she has to learn how to drive. Coming from Ireland, where public transportation is apparently plentiful, the author has never needed to drive before. So readers get to learn how an Irish woman learns how to drive, buys a car, and gets an American driver’s license… not necessarily in that order.
And then there’s work. Curiously, Howard doesn’t write a lot of funny stories about the guests she meets or cross-cultural miscommunications. In fact, she doesn’t have that much at all to say about her actual job, except that she manages to be “promoted” to a job in laundry. Howard implies that the promotion, which came with a minimal pay raise, was actually intended to get her out of some manager’s hair. She doesn’t have much to say about working in laundry, except to share a rather gross vomit story and tell her readers that she’s not cut out to work in a laundry.
My thoughts For the most part, I enjoyed this book. Catherine Ryan Howard seems very likeable and is often funny and witty. I identified with her story, since when I was in my 20s, I went to Armenia to be a Peace Corps Volunteer. It’s not quite the same. The Peace Corps gave me a place to live and a job to do and I wasn’t allowed to drive. On the other hand, as time went on, I found myself having to arrange things to my liking. That included finding other things to do, making friends, and yes, finding better housing. And those were things I had to do on my own in a foreign country. I could relate to Howard’s plight, trying to make things work somewhere new. In fact, knowing how dismal many American public transportation systems are, especially when compared to Europe’s, I kind of empathized with her. I can’t imagine trying to get by without a car in so many places in the United States.
My only quibbles about this book have to do with its beginning. Howard is a bit long-winded in her description of how she ended up in Florida. The back story really needs to be edited a bit. When an author writes “bear with me” on more than one occasion, that’s a sign that a story is too long. I also wasn’t all that interested in Howard’s anecdotes about visiting the Kennedy Space Center. In my opinion, one story about satisfying her interest in the U.S. space program would have sufficed. But that’s just me.
Overall This book is not really that much about Disney, though Howard did visit there a couple of times (and paid full admission because she was not an employee). Don’t be misled into thinking you’ll get any cute Disney stories. What this book is really about is a young woman trying to launch and getting to know a new place. If you like that kind of story, this book might be worth your while.
This review was originally posted on the now defunct review site, Epinions.com. Although it’s a few years old, I figured it could be useful reading on this blog for those planning a trip to Scotland. I also like to preserve my old reviews when I can. So here it is for all those interested…
Going to Edinburgh? Learn about scotch whisky!
Review by knotheadusc in Books, Music, Hotels & Travel
December, 10 2012
Pros: Fun, informative, campy.
Cons: Kind of pricey for what it is. No discussion of Campbeltown whiskies.
My husband Bill and I just got back from a 17 day trip to Scotland. We spent two nights in Glasgow, ten nights on the Hebridean Princess, and four nights in Edinburgh. One of the ways I managed to sell Bill on the trip to Scotland was reminding him of the prospect of getting to tour whisky distilleries. We visited both the Arran and Springbank distilleries while we were on our cruise and learned a whole lot about the process of making scotch. Nevertheless, when we approached Edinburgh Castle after a long walk on The Royal Mile, I talked Bill into The Scotch Whisky Experience, which is a tourist attraction designed to teach visitors to Edinburgh about Scotland’s national drink.
Bill and I are not strangers to booze tourism. We’ve visited a beer spa, a beer museum, and Vinopolis, in London, which is basically a museum dedicated to boozers. When we first walked into the Scotch Whisky Experience, I was reminded a lot of Vinopolis. There, on the wall, was a menu of the types of tours that were available. They ran the gamut and included everything to a master class for experience scotch drinkers to tours designed for elementary school aged kids. The desk agent told us a “silver” or “gold” tour was available within the next five minutes. The silver tour was the cheapest tour available and included a trip through the exhibit and a single scotch tasting.
Because Bill and I are hedonists, we went for the gold tour, which included everything included in the silver tour, plus a year’s membership in the Scotch Whisky Experience, which entitled us to discounts on merchandise and admission, and at the end of the tour, a scotch tasting which included whiskies from four different whisky producing areas in Scotland. The gold tour cost 22.50 pounds per person, while the silver tour was 12.75. Since we later learned the whisky tasting we got at the end cost about nine pounds, we thought this was fair enough. A “platinum tour” is also available at certain times of the day. It includes more scotch tasting, including one aged 21 years.
The “experience”
The first part of the Scotch Whisky Experience is admittedly pretty silly. It basically consists of a short ride in a whisky barrel while a campy guy in a film explains the basic process of making scotch. It’s entertaining enough. I’m sure it’s a big hit with kids, not that we saw any in there with us. That part of the tour takes a few minutes.
Then, you’re taken into a room where you are handed a scratch and sniff card with four colored circles on it. Each color represents a scotch region and the usual aromas associated with that region. A tour guide gives a brief talk about the different scotch regions: Islay, Speyside, Highlands, and Lowlands. There is a fifth region, Campbeltown, which used to be the scotch capitol of the world. Sadly, there are now only three distilleries in Campbeltown and I gathered it’s not too easy to get whisky from there, since this region wasn’t covered. Luckily, Bill and I visited Campbeltown and it’s biggest distillery, Springbank, when we were on our cruise. As you discuss the different essences from each scotch region, you scratch and sniff the corresponding color.
During the lecture, the tour guide hands out tasting glasses and asks which region you want to taste scotch from. I elected Speyside, while Bill tasted a scotch from Islay. The tasting glass is yours to keep.
After that, you visit the world’s largest scotch whisky collection. There are over 3,000 bottles in this collection, some of which are very old. None of the bottles have been opened, yet some of them have been exposed to air, which has led to evaporation.
At the end of the tour, you go into the McIntyre Whisky Gallery to see more of the collection, as well as the world’s largest bottle of scotch, which is about as tall as I am. There is a large bar in there, which offers hundreds of different scotches for tasting. You pay extra to taste scotches in the gallery, unless you’ve purchased the tasting by getting the gold tour. The scotch tasting that comes with the gold tour includes four scotches from different regions which rotate regularly. One couple that was on the tour with us and got the silver tour opted to purchase the tasting afterwards; they got one and split it.
If you want a whisky that isn’t included in the tasting, you have to pay for it. By the time we were done with our tasting, we were a little scotched out!
The Scotch Whisky Experience also has the Amber Restaurant. Bill and I did not eat there, but there is a tour that includes a meal in the restaurant or you could opt to eat there independently of the tour. I’m pleased to confirm that there are clean restroom facilities available, too.
You can’t leave the tour without walking through the shop, which offers a lot of whiskies for sale. We already had two bottles of scotch from touring distilleries, but Bill did buy a couple of minis so he could try a couple of whiskies he can’t get in the US. Sadly, you can only bring one bottle of liquor per person to the USA from abroad without paying duties.
Overall
Bill and I enjoyed the Scotch Whisky Experience. However, we probably would have been more impressed with it had we not already visited a couple of actual distilleries! If you’re just going to be in Edinburgh and are interested in how scotch is made, I think the Scotch Whisky Experience is worth seeing. It was a fun tour that ate up an hour or so.
The following is a repost of a review I wrote in 2008. I posted it on Epinions and have revived it for your reading pleasure. The book was Jane Wilson-Howarth’s excellent 2006 book, How to Sh*t Around the World.
International travel can be a very rewarding and fun way to learn about the world. It can also be fraught with unforeseen hazards. Take, for instance, a nasty experience I had when I was serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Armenia. One day, I had the misfortune of drinking some contaminated water. I ended up with a case of giardia that gave me diarrhea for two weeks. It wasn’t fun, but I did learn a lesson. Getting sick is easy to do when you’re in an unfamiliar place and you don’t take care to practice scrupulous hygiene.
That’s why Dr. Jane Wilson-Howarth’s 2006 book, How to Sh*t Around the World: The Art of Staying Clean and Healthy While Traveling is such a good title for anyone planning to venture outside their comfort zone. Wilson-Howarth is a well-traveled British woman who studied ecology and also happens to be a medical doctor. Combining her fields of study with her many travels has made this author very knowledgeable about how to stay healthy in places where cleanliness is not a top priority. How to Sh*t Around the World is a very practical book, written with a common sense approach and a dash of humor thrown in for good measure. The author offers straightforward advice, but also includes some chuckle worthy anecdotes presented by other, mostly British, travelers. Those humorous anecdotes coupled with truly useful information makes this book worth reading.
What can would be travelers expect to learn by reading this book?
Above all, Jane Wilson-Howarth emphasizes keeping clean and not eating questionable food. She explains how to determine when diarrhea is traveler’s diarrhea and when it’s something else. She informs her readers about how to tell when water is safe to drink. She is quick to remind readers that when they come across unfamiliar foods in less than sanitary locations, they should boil it, peel it, cook it, or forget it, and they should try to eat piping hot, freshly prepared food. In fact, she writes that buffet food in a fancy international hotel is liable to be riskier than freshly prepared food at a filthy roadside stand. Food that’s been sitting around for awhile is more likely to be toxic.
But there’s more to this book than preventing food and water borne illnesses. Jane Wilson-Howarth also explains the best way to eliminate waste where there are no toilet facilities. In fact, she goes into great detail about how to take a dump safely while out in the woods or using an outdoor toilet, reminding readers to be sure they don’t have any company from the animal kingdom or aren’t sharing space with any toxic plants before they cop a squat.
What kinds of nasty bugs are out there, anyway?
Jane Wilson-Howarth does a fine job of describing the many types of disease causing microbes, worms, and other creatures that can cause people to get sick. Some illnesses are surprisingly easy to contract, even in the so-called first world. Other illnesses are harder to catch or, in the case of Guinea Worm, are even close to eradication.
Other great things about this book…
At the end of each chapter, Jane Wilson-Howarth includes a quick list of tips that are very practical as well as interesting. For example, did you know that malaria causing mosquitoes like sweaty feet? One way to reduce the risk of contracting malaria, then, is to make sure your feet are clean and dry before you go to bed. She also includes a chart in the middle of the book that shows how often people should be immunized. At the end of the book, there’s a reading list, as well as a list of online information sources. I particularly liked the fact that the author included a Web site for the Whizzy, a handy apparatus for women who are unable to squat. What’s more, this book is not very big or heavy, so it’s easy to tote in a backpack or even a large purse.
My one minor complaint about this book… (Besides the fact that the Epinions language filter forces me to censor the title…)
Some of the advice Jane Wilson-Howarth gives is pretty much common sense. For instance, she reminds her readers that they should always carry some toilet paper with them. She also advises not diving headfirst into unknown waters. On the other hand, sometimes even obviously common sense advice is important to reiterate. Sometimes even people who have common sense are liable to check it at the door in the excitement of going on a trip, especially if the trip is to an exotic locale. Sometimes it’s a good thing to be explicitly reminded of what should really go without saying.
Overall
When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, we were issued copies of Where There Is No Doctor, a rather thick, simply written manual that could be used to educate locals about food hygiene, nutrition, and staying healthy. In my opinion, How to Sh*t Around the World would have been a much more practical and enjoyable title for us to have as Peace Corps Volunteers. Not only is it more relevant, it’s also a lot more fun to read and practical. Naturally, for that reason, I think it’s a great guide for anyone who’s planning to travel to exotic or rustic locations. Jane Wilson-Howarth provides advice that is down to earth, entertaining to read, and above all, very useful. I highly recommend it.
Here’s a repost of a book I read and reviewed last year. If you like stories about road trips through the United States, Paul Jury’s States of Confusion: My 19,000-Mile Detour to Find Direction may be a good bet for you!
Young man drives all over America to find himself…
Jan 31, 2013 (Updated Jan 31, 2013)
Review by knotheadusc in Books
Rated a Very Helpful Review
Pros:Well-written, funny, engaging and entertaining.
Cons:Loses a little steam toward the end of the book.
The Bottom Line: Highly recommended!
A couple of years ago, I stumbled across an article about Paul Jury and his 2011 book, States of Confusion: My 19,000-Mile Detour to Find Direction. To be honest, I don’t remember what it was about the article I read that made me want to read the book; I only know that after I read, I went to Amazon.com and bought. I downloaded his book to my Kindle and there it sat for almost two years. I finally read it this month, finishing it in less than 48 hours. And now I’m a little embarrassed it sat in the queue for as long as it did.
Who is Paul Jury and what is his book about?
After graduating from Northwestern University with a degree in film, Paul Jury was at a loss as to what he should do next. He grew up in Minneapolis and had a girlfriend named Sarah who was in Chicago, earning a degree in law. A lot of Paul’s friends had found lucrative jobs and were on their way to do something with their lives. Paul was floundering, having worked a couple of unsatisfying dead end jobs that ultimately led to nowhere. Somehow, Paul came up with the idea to spend 48 days driving to each of the 48 continental states.
He had it all figured out. He would drive his parents’ 1993 Eurovan, affectionately dubbed the Spacemobile. He would sleep in the van and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He would stick to side roads, making a point of doing something “interesting” in each state. And he would stick to a budget. He had saved up $3000, which would fund his adventure.
Things went awry from the very beginning, when the Spacemobile had problems that made it impossible to drive. Paul embarked on his trip in his father’s Ford Taurus, which he called “The Imposter”, with plans to come back to get the Spacemobile when it was operational again. Once he got on the road, he found that sometimes the best laid plans lead one somewhere completely different from where they thought they’d end up.
My thoughts
I really enjoyed reading States of Confusion. Paul Jury is an entertaining writer with an excellent sense of humor. Most of all, I really related to him. When I was fresh out of college, I had my own identity crisis, which led me to join the Peace Corps. That was sort of my place to “find myself”… only I kind of didn’t. Anyway, I related to Jury’s search to figure out his life and I liked the way he characterized some of the people he met on his journey.
From wading in a snake filled fetid lake of brown sludge in Missouri in search of his car keys, to swilling beer with two recent jailbirds in Arkansas, to being waited on by a one armed waitress in Vermont, to meeting a Waffle House heiress in Mississippi, to having a massive breakdown in Montana, Paul Jury got a real taste of Americana. He shares that taste with his readers, everything from the genuine boredom he experienced to the panic he felt at times when inevitable trouble cropped up.
As I read States of Confusion, I pictured myself undertaking a similar road trip and realized I wouldn’t want to do it, as exciting as it seemed. I think I would get lonely, though Paul did keep a blog, carried a cell phone, and bunked with some friends. Also, he mentions that he got awfully ripe, thanks to a lack of laundry and shower facilities. At the end of the book, Paul comes to some satisfying conclusions. My only complaint is that it seemed a little like his story lost a little steam the further west he went… but maybe that’s to be expected, given the state of the Spacemobile.
Overall
This is a great book, especially for those who enjoy funny memoirs about regular people. Yes, Paul’s road trip is a bit wacky, but it’s fun to read about and imparts some universal truths that may be especially valuable to young readers. I definitely recommend States of Confusion, especially to anyone looking for direction.
Checking out Czech beer in more ways that I ever thought possible
Feb 16, 2009 (Updated May 15, 2009) Review by knotheadusc in Hotels & Travel
Rated a Very Helpful Review
Pros:Fun, very reasonably priced, beer baths
Cons:Glitchy online booking, not near public transport, slightly corporate feel
The Bottom Line:Czech out Czech beer at Chodovar! It does your body good, both inside and out!
This review will definitely NOT be lean n’ mean!Those of you who have been around for awhile may remember a now defunct shampoo called Body On Tap. Created in 1978 by Bristol-Meyers products, Body On Tap’s list of ingredients included beer, a not so secret ingredient that was supposed to make hair soft and shiny. I remember seeing the ads for that shampoo as a little kid and hearing the warning that I shouldn’t drink it! I always wondered if beer really did do such great things for the hair.
Thirty years later, I’ve just had the chance to find out about the wonderful things beer can do for my hair and skin. My husband Bill and I took advantage of President’s Day weekend at Chodovar Beer Spa and Brewery in Chodova Plana, Czech Republic. Let me tell you, the folks at Chodovar are onto something. Business is booming at their beer spa and when we were done there, my hair was definitely better off for the experience.
The Chodovar Brewery
The Chodovar Brewery, located just beyond the German border, has been around since 1573. In 1992, the Chodovar brewery became a limited liability company owned and operated by four partners: RNDr. Tomáš Zuckermann, Jiøí Plevka Sr., Jiøí Plevka Jr. and Jan Plevka. As Bill and I drove through Chodova Plana and the surrounding areas, we could see that many of the local bars and restaurants served Chodovar beer.
Though the Chodovar Brewery has been making “suds” for centuries, it’s only been in the beer spa business since 2006, when it started offering beer baths as a spa treatment. I learned about the Chodovar beer spa watching the Czech Republic episode of Three Sheets, a travel/drinking show that was aired on the now defunct channel MOJO HD and is currently available to be downloaded on iTunes. The host, Zane Lamprey, traveled to Chodovar for a beer bath as a means to cure the wicked hangover he got from drinking too much Czech beer and absinthe. Because Bill and I are living in Germany and we had already been to Prague and Cesky Krumlov, we decided the long weekend was the perfect excuse to try out this unusual mode of beer tourism.
The hotel
It’s safe to say that the Chodovar Brewery pretty much makes up the whole town of Chodova Plana. Luckily, the Hotel U Sladka, owned and operated by the brewery, is part of the Chodovar beer spa experience. The three star hotel is a fairly basic but very economical affair. There are currently 120 rooms. Singles, doubles, triples, and even quad rooms are available. Pets can also be accommodated for a small fee.
Bill and I booked a double. Our room was small, but very clean. It had a direct dial phone, television with about ten Czech channels and the hotel’s own brewery channel, and free Internet access (bring your own cable). The bed was the typical European type, two twin beds pushed together. It wasn’t the best bed I’ve ever slept on, but it was comfortable enough. There was also a very cheap minibar stocked with Chodovar products (beer and mineral water). Beer was priced at 20 Czech crowns ($1) and mineral water, including a delicious orange variety, was 18 Czech crowns (about 90 cents).
The bathroom had an excellent shower with great water pressure and a knobby floor that massaged my feet. There was a towel warmer and two soap dispensers full of Chodovar’s own shower gel… made with beer, naturally! Bill and I came home with a whole range of Chodovar beer cosmetics: shampoo, shower gel, balsam, bubble bath, and even the makings for our own beer bath.
Breakfast is included in the price of the room. It consists of a variety of delicious sausages and salamis, cheeses, hard boiled and scrambled eggs, breads and pastries. You can get a thermos full of Tchibo coffee or use the coffee machine, which makes espresso drinks and hot chocolate. Tea and juice are also available.
There is free unsecured parking in front of the hotel or you can park in the secure lot behind the hotel. The secured lot costs 70 Czech crowns a night (about $3.50), but the lot is locked and presumably very safe from criminals.
Booking the Beer Spa
The first thing to say about the beer spa is to make sure you book it in advance! The Chodovar Brewery has a revamped Web site that will allow you to book online. My advice is to skip the Web site and call the hotel directly. Bill and I decided to visit Chodovar a bit on a whim and requested a reservation ten days in advance. We tried to use the Web site, but got nervous when we didn’t get an immediate confirmation. We called the reception about an hour after we booked and were told that they hadn’t yet received our request through their Web site. We ended up booking our room and beer bath over the phone.
I didn’t actually get a confirmation from the online service until the next day. The receptionist didn’t realize we had already booked over the phone and wrote that the beer baths were fully booked through the weekend. She explained that they recommended booking the beer baths up to four months in advance. I don’t know if that’s really necessary, but I will say that there were no free appointments for the baths the whole time we were there. In other words, if we had just shown up at the hotel, we probably would not have gotten into the spa. It was a good thing we called and snagged our spot when we did. We had gotten the last available appointment on Saturday. It didn’t appear to me that treatments were offered on Sundays.
There are several single tubs available and one double sized tub for couples. Those who want to use the double tub may want to bear that in mind when planning a trip to Chodovar.
Our Beer Bath experience
Since the double sized tub was booked, Bill and I arranged for two single baths. The smell of fresh beer wafted through the air in the foyer as we rang the doorbell by the spa. We were welcomed by a very friendly spa worker who asked us to remove our shoes. She showed us to dressing rooms and asked us to completely disrobe and wrap up in a sheet. The dressing rooms have lockers and showers in them.
Bill and I came out of the dressing rooms looking like we were headed to a toga party. Another spa worker showed us to our individual tubs, which had already been prepared for us. She drew a curtain around us, leaving the one between the tubs open so we could share the experience!
Our large tubs were full of a warm, foamy, mixture of the spa’s own dark bath beer and mineral water. It smelled of beer, but not offensively so. I found the bath very pleasant and relaxing, as pop music played over the sound system and other couples took their places in their own beer baths. One thing Bill and I both noticed was that we floated a bit! While we soaked in our baths for 20 minutes, we each sipped a .33 liter glass of non-pasteurized Chodovar beer. Supposedly the beer works as a digestive. All I know is that after drinking that beer, I really needed to pee before I got out of the tub!
After 20 minutes, a spa worker pulled the plug on our tubs. We wrapped up in our sheets again and she led us to a dark, quiet room where there were a number of lounges separated by soothing lamps. We laid down on the lounges and the spa worker swaddled us in a fleece quilt, where we were supposed to rest for another twenty minutes. The spa workers served us another glass of beer, which made me have to pee even more! I ended up getting up a little early so I could go relieve myself.
My impressions of the Beer Baths
The extreme need to whiz kind of dampened my ability to relax during the beer bath treatment, but I’d definitely do it again. The bath was very relaxing and fun. And ladies, I recommend letting your hair get wet. After my hair dried, it was incredibly soft and shiny. My skin also felt soft and smooth.
Massages and other spa stuff
Bill and I booked massages, which are also very much in demand. At first, the receptionist told me that because they were booked, we could each only get so-called “simple” massages, which last for 20 minutes. But then she told me that a time slot for a 50 minute “complex” massage was also available. Bill had never had a massage before and was a little skittish about it, so I took the complex massage while he stuck with a simple one. In addition to simple and complex massages, there are also lava stone and foot massages available.
The first thing to know about massages at Chodovar is that they involve almost completely disrobing. The second thing to know is that the Europeans have a lot fewer hang ups about nudity than Americans do. Bill got his massage from a lady, while mine was given by a young man. Neither spoke much English, though the lady did speak a little German. The man who gave me my massage saw me in nothing but a pair of undies, which frankly made me feel a little bashful. However, he was very professional and gave me a very thorough massage. He was also quite pleased when I gave him a tip. The last thing to know is that the pervasive scent of human body odor pretty much trumps the scent of the beer bath… or at least it did when I had my massage. Luckily, my nose shut off halfway through the treatment.
In addition to massages, Chodovar also offers what they call “remedial packs”, which basically involves being wrapped up in malt draff. Bill and I did not try this treatment, though we thought it sounded interesting.
Dining options
I mentioned that the Chodovar Brewery is pretty much the only game going in Chodova Plana. We also couldn’t help but notice that the management seemed very big on marketing and looked like they’d taken a few corporate cues from Anheuser-Busch (now owned by InBev). In any case, there are two restaurants run by the resort. There’s Stará Sladovna (Old Malt House), which is in a brick house located right across the secured parking lot, and Ve Skále, which is about 250 meters from the hotel and housed in an 800 year old cave-like rock labyrinth that used to serve as a beer cellar. Ve Skále also houses a very small museum and gift shop, where patrons can buy Chodovar’s beer cosmetics, apparel, and other paraphernalia.
Both restaurants serve traditonal hearty Czech food, which means lots of meat, poultry, potatoes, and gravy! And there’s also plenty of beer on draft, as well as mineral waters and bottled non-alcoholic brews. Ve Skále is definitely the more unique option, but it’s a little bit of a hike from the hotel that I didn’t find very pleasant in the frigid cold. If the weather had been warmer, it would have been a nice walk.
Be advised that smoking is allowed in both restaurants and seating is such that you might find yourself sharing a table with people you don’t know. Both restaurants feature long tables with benches and chairs. During our two occasions dining at Ve Skále, Bill and I shared our table. The first time was with a young Czech man who seemed very intent on showing his date how smart he was. The second time was with a German man from Berlin who seemed surprised to find Americans in Chodova Plana. We did not share our table at Stará Sladovna.
Food is very reasonably priced. For example, our first night, we ate at Stará Sladovna and had two good sized entrees and four beers between us. We left the restaurant very satisfied and only spent about $25. But as it’s a brewery, we did find that the servers really pushed the beer! We didn’t find that a bad thing since neither of us had to drive anywhere afterwards. We also noticed that the male members of the staff really appeared to enjoy the brewery’s product. My beer gut definitely had lots of company.
Things to do around Chodova Plana
At this writing there’s not that much to do in the town of Chodova Plana, though I’ve heard the management has big plans for expanding Chodovar’s facilities. Brewery tours are available every day at 2:00pm, but Bill and I decided to skip it since we figured it would either be conducted in German or Czech.
Luckily, Chodova Plana is within driving distance to several decent Czech cities. After our beer spa treatments, we drove to Karlovy Vary (Karlsbad), which is about an hour away from Chodova Plana. The drive to Karlsbad from Chodovar is very scenic. You drive through a lovely evergreen forest flanked by a rushing stream that winds its way to a large lake. We thought the drive was especially gorgeous since there was a lot of snow on the ground. Karlsbad is a well known spa city and we saw lots of people using little ceramic pitchers to capture and drink spring water from fountains scattered around the downtown area. The architecture in Karlsbad is very beautiful and one can purchase spa wafers and Becherovka liqueur there as well as take in a massage or spa treatment at one of the many outlets. Shopping also appeared to be great there.
On Sunday, we drove to Plzen, which is also roughly an hour’s drive from Chodova Plana. Plzen is not as beautiful as Karlsbad is, but it is a place to go if you’re into beer. We ended up touring the Pilsner Urquell beer museum and ate lunch at the museum’s restaurant, where we got free samples of Pilsner Urquell beer. Plzen is also a good spot for history buffs. It did my heart good to see a huge memorial thanking American soldiers for liberating the city on May 6, 1945.
After our brief visit to Plzen, we drove back to Karlsbad, where we bought a painting from a Russian artist who was selling his wares on the street. The artist lives in Prague, which is also within a reasonable driving distance.
The area also offers excellent opportunities for hiking and viewing wildlife. We spotted birds of prey, herds of deer, a couple of foxes, and, on the way into Plzen, two rather discreet prostitutes. If you like castles, old churches, and museums, you’re also in luck.
In conclusion
We had an awesome time in Chodova Plana at the Chodovar Brewery– Beer Wellness Land. And our trip was very affordable. For three nights of lodging, parking, two beer baths, two massages, an array of beer cosmetics, and two beers and two mineral waters from the mini bar, we spent the Czech crown equivalent of $309! Factoring in food, beer, and the painting we bought, we spent a grand total of $570 on our three day weekend.
That said, there are a few caveats I will issue to American travelers. First, it helps to speak a little German if you don’t speak Czech. We only ran into one employee who spoke English, although English menus are available in the restaurants and some of the promotional materials are written in English. Second, the closest ATM is located about 3 kilometers from the hotel. The hotel does accept credit cards, though I read in another review that one of the restaurants doesn’t yet take them. Third, it’s best to have a car. The town is a bit off the beaten track and I didn’t spot any public transportation facilities nearby. And finally, while Chodovar’s Web site offers online booking, it’s probably best to call them for reservations. We found their online booking system to be a bit glitchy.
Overall, Bill and I had a fantastic experience and would recommend Chodovar to those who love beer, spas, or both!
The very first trip I took with Bill that didn’t involve visiting family was in September 2005. We decided to take a trip and I asked Bill to make it a surprise. I told him to plan everything… It was right after Hurricane Katrina hit and Bill was working his ass off at the National Guard Bureau in the DC area. We were afraid he’d have to work after that huge hurricane hit, but fortunately we were still able to take that vacation.
Of course, I ended up figuring out where we were going… But I have to give Bill props, because we went to Anacortes, Washington for three nights and stayed at a first class, beautiful B&B called the Heron House Suites. It was on Fidalgo Island, right on the water, and just freakin’ beautiful. We drove all over Whidbey Island and walked around Coupeville and Langley, then stopped for a wine tasting at Greenbank Farm, where they were selling loganberry wine.
While we were in Anacortes, Epinions.com was having a Meet and Greet in Seattle. Although Bill had wanted to go to Victoria, B.C., I wanted to meet some Epinions members from the west coast. So we went to the Meet and Greet and actually had a pretty good time. We were pretty jetlagged, though.
I wish I’d had a camera when we went on our all too brief trip out west. I would have loved to have taken photos of the B&B and Deception Pass… and all the beautiful things we saw. We stayed a night at the Alexis Hotel and ate dinner at Brasa in Seattle… Sadly, it looks like Brasa closed, as did the Heron Suites… I think the lady who ran it when we visited sold it and the new owners weren’t able to make a go of it. Too bad… that place was spectacular! I was so sad that we could only afford four nights away.
I would like to take another trip west. Actually, I’d like to visit California or Oregon… never been to either place. But I’d also love to go back to Washington… and if Bill doesn’t get a great job after he retires, it may be most prudent to visit the west coast and get to know more of America.
Now that we’re in Texas, maybe it’s time we visited parts of the USA I’ve never seen before.
in Books, Music, Hotels & Travel
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