Bear with me, folks. It’s a surprisingly long story… The featured photo is AI, but it kind of looks like the eye test from yesterday, only it’s not as blurry.

Bill and I were greeted with beautiful sunny skies yesterday morning. The temperature was perfectly comfortable. It would have been a great day to drive my Mini Cooper convertible, which really could use the “exercise”. We decided to drive the Volvo, instead, and made our way to Ramstein Air Force Base, so I could take care of my vision test for my driver’s license renewal.

Ramstein is about a 90 minute drive from where we live. It’s not far from the French border– maybe 45 minutes or so. The area around the base is really beautiful, although it’s pretty much a mini America. Ramstein has many facilities and is a convenient perq for those of us with military privileges, living in Germany. Although part of the usual route we take is currently closed for renovation, we made it to the base with plenty of time before the optometry clinic would be closing (3:30 ish).

I didn’t think the test would be a huge deal. We already had the passable results of the eye test I had struggled to take in Wiesbaden last month. However, the optical shop in Wiesbaden couldn’t do the apparently newly required peripheral vision test, so I had to get a new exam done at Ramstein. At least the test in Wiesbaden was free of charge.

The Texas driver’s license officials had indicated that they only needed proof that my peripheral vision was passable, since my vision test results from Wiesbaden were passing. I thought our visit would be brief and uncomplicated. We definitely hadn’t planned on spending so much time with the optometry technician in Ramstein, a tiny white woman who appeared to be about Bill’s age. She immediately made an impression as we approached.

The lights in the optometry clinic were turned off, and she was sitting behind the desk, barely noticeable from outside. At first, I was afraid the office was closed. But then we saw her, and the hours posted on the door. The lady behind the desk– I’ll call her “Mary” (likely not her real name)– was very friendly, but as soon as we started trying to explain what we needed, she broke in and told us that the clinic was going to be shut down in July. Then she started ranting about the driver’s license exams, and how they would not be able to do them, because the two optometrists at the clinic are leaving and there are not any plans to replace them.

I started to worry that she was going to tell us she wouldn’t be able to help us, but then she said the magic words.

“I’m going to take care of you today. We’ll get you squared away.”

She addressed me directly, which I appreciated. After a few moments listening to Mary, I definitely got the sense that I was one of the lucky ones coming in under the wire for services at Ramstein. Unless, of course, something happens, and they get new optometrists to work in lovely Germany, so that people like us can be taken care of by Americans with American credentials, and still be able to renew our driver’s licenses, so we’ll be legal to drive.

I listened to Mary talk about how the requirements for the exams could not be met once the doctors left, because the driver’s license offices in the United States required stamps from licensed US based optometrists. I was thinking about all of the times I’ve renewed my driver’s licenses in person. Never on any of those occasions have I had to submit paperwork from a licensed eye doctor. I just did a very basic test involving looking into a machine with both eyes, conducted by the government flunky handling my request.

I guess things have changed. To hear Mary explain it, officials in the States are getting a lot stricter about eye tests for driver’s licenses. I gather it’s because officials don’t want anyone getting a driver’s license who isn’t “legal”. 🙄 But maybe it really is about public safety. Who knows?

I explained to Mary that I’d already (barely) passed the eye test in Wiesbaden, and the Texas officials had only requested a peripheral vision test. Mary told us she had to charge us $34, whether we did the whole thing or just a part. She seemed to think I needed a new test, and scoffed at what they’d done in Wiesbaden. She even said we should get our money back, and laughed when we said the test had been done for free. I didn’t really care about the $34, I just wanted to get this over with… but Mary seemed intent on doing her job, so I did the whole thing over again.

Thank GOD I brought my glasses with me, because if I hadn’t, I would not have passed. I certainly CAN see well enough to drive, but I am in need of a new prescription. I have astigmatism that isn’t currently corrected by my multifocal lenses. I can see better if I wear toric lenses, but I can’t read with the toric lenses. I can read with multifocal lenses, but my vision isn’t as sharp. My prescription is way off anyway, because it’s been years since I last went to the eye doctor. In Germany, you can just buy your lenses without a prescription. I’m pretty sure I need bifocals.

Mary was very nice, but she was really stressing me out during the exam. She exuded the slight shaming and judging one gets from medical professionals when patients don’t do things exactly as they should or haven’t been “living properly”.

I didn’t use the eye cover exactly right, and she corrected me for that. She was a little disapproving because I had dusty glasses, as I only wear them to watch TV at night, and then only for a few minutes. She chastised me when she did the peripheral test for turning my head as she talked to me. I hate it when medical people act that way. I have authority issues as it is, but it’s especially annoying when you have to pay for that treatment.

Another example of that kind of behavior…

My husband, Bill, has had to take blood pressure meds for almost as long as I’ve known him. He gets nervous when he goes to the doctor, so his blood pressure goes up. One time, he went to see the doctor, and the nurse who took his blood pressure gave him a disapproving look, implying that he wasn’t taking his medication. Bill is an excellent patient. He takes his medications religiously. But the nurse wasn’t convinced, because his pressure was high during that visit. Her castigating was making things worse. She was stressing him out with her disapproval, making his blood pressure rise even higher.

Bill later got diagnosed with white coat hypertension. I, too, was diagnosed with that, back in 2007. But now, I’m pretty sure I have high blood pressure and need to be on meds… and that will require a doctor’s visit, which really freaks me out.

Moving on…

I really wanted to pass the test, even though I almost never drive, because I just wanted to get this pesky chore done. I don’t want my driver’s license to expire, in case there’s an emergency. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I didn’t pass, but it would be a huge pain in my ass. Mary said that US officials won’t take German doctors’ signatures on the forms (which seems rather preposterous to me, especially if the optometrists are going away). I can’t stand dealing with medical people, and find addressing healthcare issues a huge hassle. I didn’t want to have to come back, or find somewhere else to go.

Mary warned that if I let my license expire, I would end up having to take the driver’s tests again. This was precisely why I have been bugging Bill for a year about completing this particular bureaucratic chore. I knew I’d probably have to furnish a lot of documents and official signatures, thanks to Trump’s micromanaging style of “leading”. I still have six weeks or so until my license expires. Mary was making it all seem so catastrophic and difficult, and this was the last hurdle I needed to clear before I’d be done with this process.

The last thing I want to do is retake the driver’s tests in the US, or have to take them in Germany (although I believe Texas has an agreement that would allow me to just trade in my license). I wasn’t going to argue with Mary, though, because she seemed to think she was 100 percent right about all of the current policies in the USA and Germany. Perhaps she is… but I got the sense she was making much more of a big deal of this than was actually required. All I wanted to do is pass the fucking eye test so I can stay legal to drive, in case I need to in an emergency.

As time passed during my exam, Mary could see I was getting progressively more upset, so as she was chastising and disapproving, she was also reassuring me. She kept saying, “You’re going to pass! Don’t worry!” she chirped, as she made me read off numbers to prove I’m not color blind. (good LORD!). When it came time to do the peripheral vision test, she had me do it without my lenses in. I could see her hands and fuzzy outlines of her fingers as she moved behind me. Thankfully, I did pass that part of the test with no issues. That was what I had come in to do.

So finally, at the end of the exam, as many medical professionals have before her, Mary “passed” me, with a stern warning that I need a new prescription (no shit). She warned that if we tried to call them tomorrow, it would be total bedlam. There are very few appointments left until July, when the office will be closed. I got the sense that maybe a main part of the reason Mary was so angsty is because people were going to be losing their jobs. Bill paid her the $34, and she set me up with an hour long appointment for June 13th, a week before my birthday, and before my license will be officially expired.

At some point, Mary told us that she’s a nurse. AHA! That explains her authoritative, but friendly, demeanor. She also said she’d worked in ICUs. I got the sense that maybe she missed the action of the ICU, given the relative drama of this appointment. Good thing no one else was waiting!

As Mary was signing me up to see the doctor– a man she says is a “talker”– she warned us to show up on time or face a $40 no show fee. And she reiterated that I needed a very thorough exam, which will involve dilating my eyes. I’m sure that will come with a lecture about my blood pressure, which probably does need correcting…

The question is, though… am I strong enough to deal with either authoritative military doctors at Landstuhl, or another German doctor who treats me like dog shit scraped off of their shoes? Time will tell. But I do look forward to getting a new prescription, at least. I do need one.

After my time with Mary, Bill and I decided to have lunch. Ramstein has a huge food court, and a Macaroni Grill. There’s also a Five Guys in the place where a Burger King once stood (and later burned to the ground). We decided to go to the German restaurant, which was set up to look like an indoor Biergarten. They had brews on tap, and I really felt like I needed one. As for lunch, I had a Munich Burger, while Bill had Schnitzel. Neither came with sides, which was a good thing, as the items were huge and messy. I could barely finish the dripping burger, but it did taste pretty good.

After lunch, we stopped in an Italian gourmet shop in the mall. The lady running it was an absolutely adorable and friendly Italian, who was very helpful and spoke with a delightfully thick accent! She was impressed as she watched us loading up on products, and asked us if we were PCSing back to the States. I wanted to get some olive oil and balsamic vinegar for Bill’s younger daughter, who has never had any of the “good” stuff from Italy. I threw in a bag of pasta, too. We also got some stuff for home, including Orangello.

Then I heard music coming from the food court. It looked like a band consisting mostly of high schoolers were playing jazz. They were quite good. The young lady who was singing was very impressive. She had a lovely voice! If I hadn’t been so stressed out by the eye test, I might have stayed to listen for a bit longer, but we needed to get back to the dogs. I wanted to slip into something more comfortable and take a nice deep breath as I recovered from re-entering the “little America” of Ramstein Air Force Base.

Hopefully, the people in Texas will accept this last bit of proof of my worthiness for a Texas driver’s license. Mary said we were lucky. She had to fly back to Mississippi for hers. I guess Mississippi doesn’t make exceptions for people who live on different continents, but vote in Mississippi. I thought I’d have to go back to Texas, too… which, frankly, I would barely prefer over going to Mississippi. No offense to my Mississippi based friends. 🥰

I do appreciate Mary’s help. All in all, she was very kind to me, and I do need to get this taken care of. But it really was a lot more stressful and involved than I was expecting. I pray yesterday’s visit will be the end of the saga, at least in terms of getting my license renewed.