Tag Archives: toilets

adventure, Middle East, short breaks, Türkiye

A quick jaunt to Istanbul… (part three)

After we checked in at Hilton Istanbul Maslak, a porter helped us with our bags and showed us to room 1711. There was a bank of four elevators in the hotel lobby, and to call one, you must punch your floor number on a large keypad. But the keypad is only there on the lobby floor. All of the other floors just have the usual up and down buttons. I’m not sure why the fancy keypad was necessary. Maybe it was an attempt to make the hotel look more upscale.

Room 1711

The porter punched 17 on the keypad for us, and then showed us that we had to use our keycards to get the elevator to work. He explained the hotel’s services, which included a spa, a full scale restaurant, a lobby bar, 24 room service, and even a high end jewelry store. Bill shook his hand and palmed him a tip, and then we took a look at our room…

I liked the rainfall shower. It was very nice!
One view
Another view
At first I wasn’t sure what this was, but then I realized it was a reading light.

One thing this hotel room had, that none of the others I’ve ever stayed in have had, was a toilet that had a little spigot on the back of it. When you flush the toilet, the spigot squirts out cold water in a bidet fashion. The toilet also had a tap next to it that could turn on the spigot without flushing, causing it to shoot water at varying pressures. One thing the tap didn’t have was temperature control, which meant that sitting on the toilet while it flushed was going to result in cold water squirting in your asshole. It’s not possible to turn off the spigot– or, at least I never found a way to do that. Consequently, if you are not sitting on the commode as it flushes, water might splash out from the little spigot. I made a YouTube video to show my readers exactly what I mean…

Shrinkage city! Actually, I did use the bidet function once, and it wasn’t so bad, even with the chilly water. But then, I don’t have a dick.

The room also had a minibar, which had everything from overpriced liquor and snacks, to a pair of socks and a condom. I usually take a photo of the minibar, but didn’t bother to on this trip. Bill explored it and told me all about the contents. I actually liked the art in the room, which I thought was rather thought provoking, although the drab brown color scheme was a bit depressing.

The bed was basically okay, although the mattress was a bit firmer than I’m used to. We used the air conditioning at night, since it was rather warm in Istanbul while we were there. We never turned on the flatscreen TV. I meant to, just to see what was on the telly, but I decided I’d rather just use my computer for entertainment.

Breakfast

Breakfast is served in the hotel’s restaurant, Zaxi. It’s buffet style, and there is a guy there who makes eggs to order. I probably should have tried an omelet, but I never bothered. There were many choices in the buffet, although I didn’t think the food was especially tasty. It was certainly adequate, and even pleasing in some instances. I liked the halva they offered– a thick, satisfying sesame seed creation. They also had a huge range of Turkish cheeses, which Bill loved. There were plenty of vegetables, breads, and the usual chafing dishes with scrambled and boiled eggs, sausages, and other sides. Of course, there weren’t any pork products offered.

Check out the generic World Market style art on the walls. We could have been anywhere besides Istanbul.

The one thing that stuck out to me the most about eating in the restaurant was the weird music they played. I noticed they had a loop of bossa nova styled pop songs from the 1980s. Some of the retooled songs were truly strange, and they played them over and over throughout our stay. Are you seriously ready for a Bossa Nova rendition of “Like A Virgin” or “Beat It”?

I did like a few of the songs enough to Shazam them, but there were a few that were just ridiculous. I’m sure most people don’t pay attention to background music, but I am a musician, so I always notice it. I guess I’m just glad it wasn’t Muzak.

The spa

After breakfast, Bill went to his conference. The location was close enough that Bill and his buddies were able to walk there. I went back to bed, since I was a bit jet lagged. Then, at around 11:00 or so, I decided to go to the spa. I’ve heard that the spa at the Hilton Istanbul Maslak is not owned by the hotel. I’m not sure where the truth lies… but I have to say, it was a bit of a disappointment.

Years ago, I wrote a post about how, if you go to a pool in France, you have to wear Speedos and a swimming cap. I’ve since learned that this policy is in effect in some other European (or Asian) countries besides France. And, as it turns out, at least at this particular Turkish pool, you have to wear a swimming cap to use it. This is supposedly for hygiene reasons. They don’t want hair getting caught in the pool filters.

I don’t own a swimming cap. I probably could have purchased one at the spa, but the lady who told me about the policy was not clear about it. She did say that I could use the Jacuzzi without a cap, and there appeared to be another warm shallow pool that I probably could have used. I didn’t bother, though. I was just there to give housekeeping a chance to clean the room. I also don’t know if the powers that be who run this pool also require men to wear Speedos, like they do in France and apparently other countries in Europe.

I sat down on one of the loungers in the spa, which was mostly vacant the whole time I was there. I was a bit dismayed by how worn and stained the cushions were on the loungers. One of them had broken strings at the end of the cushion, so when I sat on it, the cushion shifted. I moved to a different lounger because of that.

And there were also no towels put out for guest use. So, the spa was a bust, which was a real bummer. Yeah, I could have bought a swimming cap, but I didn’t want to go swimming badly enough to try to stuff my hair into one.

Jacuzzi
Another shallow pool.
I wonder how many people actually use this pool…
Stains on the lounger cushion…

After a couple of dry hours at the pool, I went back to the room, and was happy to see it had been cleaned. I decided to do some writing and wait for Bill to come back from his first day at his conference. I know I could have gone out and walked around the neighborhood, but I correctly assumed there wasn’t a lot for tourists to see there. There’s a mosque nearby, and I think an art gallery, but there weren’t really any decent sidewalks. The area is very crowded and not particularly interesting, unless you want to look at skyscrapers and dodge other people. So I stayed in the hotel and waited… and I took a few photos of the sunset… Too bad the windows were a little dirty.

Dinner at Zaxi

And then, for dinner, we tried the hotel restaurant, which was still playing that weird Bossa Nova music from the 80s. I had a beef rib, while Bill had roasted salmon with cauliflower puree. For a starter, we shared shrimps with a dip that I can no longer identify… I remember thinking the food was pretty good. We both enjoyed Bomonte lagers, a Turkish beer that was light and refreshing. And we also had dessert– profiteroles for me, and a warm lemon pistachio tart for Bill.

After dinner, we tried the lobby bar. I think the manager was trying to make small talk, because Bill told me that when I went to the restroom, the guy asked Bill if I was his wife. I’m sure he sees a lot of men in the bar either alone, or with female colleagues. It’s not so common to bring a spouse. I can kind of understand why…

We tried a Turkish red wine. The one we originally ordered wasn’t in stock, which was kind of a blessing, because it was priced at over $100 (in Turkish lira). What we had was much cheaper, and not too bad… although after we enjoyed it, I wondered what the more expensive one was like.

This wasn’t bad once it opened up a little…

That about does it for Tuesday in Maslak. Stay tuned for the next post!

Standard
BeNeLux

A day in Holland… (part eight)

We didn’t have any big plans for Monday, November 18th. Marco, the butler, told us that a lot of shops in the area near The Duke Suites are closed on Mondays. We did have nice weather, though, so after yet another sumptuous, languorous breakfast, we decided to head out and explore the area. I wish I could say that we saw and did a lot during our car ride, but the drive mostly consisted of killing time.

I love the beautiful tree lined roads in Holland…

There are a couple of cities near Nistelrode, namely Oss and ‘s-Hertogenbosch, which is locally known as “Den Bosch”. Den Bosch’s official name translates to “the forest of the Duke” in archaic Dutch, referring to Henry I, Duke of Brabant. It’s funny, because when I was growing up in Gloucester, Virginia, the “Village Secretary’s” last name was “Brabant”. Every time I see a place in The Netherlands referred to as “Brabant”, I’m reminded of her! I guess her husband was of Dutch descent.

Anyway, we drove around both towns and I got some photos, but we didn’t really see a place in Den Bosch that invited us to stop and walk around. Or maybe I just didn’t feel like it… According to Wikipedia, there was a German concentration camp located just a few kilometers south of Den Bosch. It was known by the Germans as Herzogenbusch, but to the Dutch, it was called Kamp Vught. I didn’t know about this history last week, as we were driving around the town.

After awhile, Bill said he needed a potty break, so we stopped at a gas station. When we went inside, we found the toilet, which required 80 cents. However, it could only be paid for by card. This was actually a good thing, because we had been fretting a bit over the denial of the Visa card Bill tried to use at the first restaurant we went to upon arrival. It worked at the bathroom at the Shell station. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, the toilet I used was clogged. I just managed to escape the stall before it came close to overflowing!

We decided to drive to Oss to look for lunch. We ended up parking at a very large public lot and walked into a “Walkplatz”, where workers were starting to put up Christmas decorations. I spotted a nice looking restaurant on a corner called Brasserie La Colline. It turned out to be a great lunch stop. The food and service were very good, but so was the music. I ended up downloading a lot of it!

Bill had a cheese toast. And non-alcoholic Trappist beer.
I liked my lobster soup, tuna sandwich, and shrimp croquettes.
I got a kick out of this in the menu.

I found myself wishing we had a restaurant like this one near us. I really enjoyed the atmosphere.

After awhile, we decided to head back to The Duke Suites and enjoy our final evening in our very unique lodging. We decided to have a relatively small dinner at the Clubhouse restaurant again– lobster soup for me, and venison for Bill… The service was, again, excellent. We were the only ones in the dining room. The night before, there was one other party, but they appeared to be businesspeople. On Monday, night, a man in a suit who spoke excellent English took care of us. He gave us some of the history of the property. We found out The Duke Suites was built just a few years ago.

Apple tart for Bill.
Peanut butter, chocolate, and banana parfait for me.
Excellent frites!
Lobster soup is always a treat!

When we went to bed later, we discovered that the bed was actually adjustable! The head and base could be raised or lowered with the push of a button. I would love to have that bed in our house! Marco, the butler, told us he would not be working when we checked out on Tuesday. I was sad to say goodbye to him, but it was such a pleasure to meet him. He was really cool. He cracked up when he asked us if we were going back to the USA for Christmas and I said I hadn’t been back there in ten years! 😉

There’s one last entry to go before this series ends… Stay tuned!

Standard
housekeeping tips

Toilet seat hunting… one way to crap off the week…a

This post was written in November 2018.  Sorry for the confusion!

On Monday of this week, I wrote a tale of woe about the toilet seat in our upstairs bathroom.  The bumper on the old toilet seat in our current house busted the other day.  Bill decided to get a new seat.  Off we went to the Toom in Herrenberg to find one.

Bill was armed with the measurements he’d taken of our current commode.  We spent several minutes perusing the impressive array of toilet seats available at our handy German hardware store…

There’s a whole wall of seats.  They range from the colorful to the plain.

Bill found a couple of contenders.

I was amused by all the beach scenes, especially since I grew up pretty close to the ocean and miss it.

This one was in 3D!

I probably would have preferred the zebra.

I was eyeing the toilets jealously, but then remembered that our new house has new toilets… or so we were told.  To be honest, with all the houses we visited, it’s hard to tell who said what.  Suffice to say, I don’t think the toilets in our new house are “water saver” types like the one in our current house’s upstairs bathroom.

Bill paid about 30 euros for the new seat, then we headed into Herrenberg for lunch.  We could have had lunch at the Toom, since they have a full scale snack bar there.  We got to town a little bit later than optimal for lunch.  It was about 1:30pm, which is getting close to “pause” time.  I’m going to miss Herrenberg, so I took a few pictures.

I took a photo of this store because I hope someday to visit and buy a table here.  They have some really beautiful custom made tables in this shop on the main drag through town.  It’s called Lieblingsholz.

Closing down the Saturday market.

A charming sign…

Just before we stopped to take a picture of this sign, we stopped at our favorite local pizzeria.  It was closed today, just as it was last time we were in Herrenberg.  I was looking at the sign and an elderly German guy came over and asked us if we wanted to “have a coffee”.  I was actually talking to Bill when I said, “What did you say?”, but I guess the guy thought I was talking to him.  It turned out the German gent spoke perfect English.  He told us about a really nice bakery down the street that serves coffee.  We were very charmed by his inclination to help us find coffee, even though we were looking for lunch and have lived near Herrenberg a total of six years over two tours!  It was such a nice, welcoming gesture, though!

Herrenberg kind of feels like home.  I fear Wiesbaden may not feel that way to me, because it’s so crowded and people have more money there.  But I have met people from Hesse who live down here near Stuttgart and I have met a guy who is married to someone from Stuttgart who lives in Hesse.  So I guess we’ll find some friendly folks regardless.

Yesterday, Bill stopped by our vets’ office in Herrenberg to pay for the dentals we had them do on our dogs and take care of the VAT form.  One of the vets had recommended that we stock up on wormers and flea and tick pills, so it would be on the VAT, too.  I’m going to miss our vets, too.  They’ve taken great care of our boys and I’ve gotten to know them fairly well, for professional purposes, anyway.  I told them I wouldn’t be surprised if we came back to the area at some point.  This is the place for guys like Bill.

We ended up at Hanoi Pho.  We have eaten there once before and I remembered liking the food.  I liked it today, too.

Shot of Bill after he asked our waiter what the lady next him was having.  She had a bowl full of fried stuff that looked just right for me.

But I ended up having shrimp with vegetables and peanut sauce.  Unfortunately, this had a couple of mushrooms in it, but Bill came to my rescue.  It was otherwise very good and lightly spicy, if not a little heavy.  

Bill went with pho made with beef and noodles.  In the picture, you can also see the mushrooms he took from my dish.  Thankfully, there was just one cut into a few pieces.  It didn’t affect the flavor of the dish.  Bill used some red chili sauce in the pho and it was apparently very potent.  He ate the whole thing and even threatened to drink the broth.  As we were leaving, he was wiping his eyes and nose because the sauce had brought on the waterworks.

The proprietor dropped hints that he was ready for a smoke break when he brought us our bill unrequested.  It came to about 25 euros.  We were about finished anyway.  Bill had to go look for a wrench so he can install the new toilet seat.  Then he said, “I guess I better get some wine, too, since we only have two bottles.  One is Moldovan and the other is semi-sweet.”

My response was, “Oh God, yes, get some wine.”  That’s my Bill.  Always a provider.  He’s been busy today, taking care of some minor maintenance issues like changing lightbulbs and offloading trash.  When he removed the old toilet seat, the bolts were so rusted that one snapped clean off.  It was definitely time for a new seat.  Hope the new tenants like it.

Tada!  After Bill installed this snazzy new seat, he fetched a bottle of wine.  I have now christened the new seat and it’s a vast improvement over the old one.  

If you got through today’s post, I would like to share with you some glorious photos from a couple of sunrises this week.  I think the view at our current house is the best part of our experience here.  I’m going to miss it, too.

These were from Tuesday…

And these were from this morning.  For about twenty minutes each morning, especially when it’s going to be cloudy, we get amazing sunrises and sunsets at this time of year.  Unfortunately, the view from our new home will include a lot of rooftops.  We weren’t as lucky in finding a rural location in Wiesbaden.

I took these on Tuesday with my digital camera, which is capable of zooming.  I loved the big blackbird.  He sits in that tree all the time, looking for rodents.  Sometimes it’s exciting to watch as he and his buddies swoop into the fields, competing with the many cats that prowl the area.

I’m not sure what tomorrow has in store for us.  I suspect I’ll be purchasing some rugs at the PX.  Maybe we’ll stop by the Auld Rogue or something.  Next weekend, we’ll be in Baden-Baden resting up and celebrating our anniversary.

Standard
housekeeping tips

My bad luck with toilets continues…

A few weeks ago, I used the original toilet seat on our “guest toilet” for the last time.  The guest toilet has what was probably once considered a “designer” toilet, shaped like a rectangle.  I don’t like the rectangular toilet.  I have a few reasons for feeling this way.  I think one of my most understandable peeves about it is that it’s not as easy to clean as a regularly shaped toilet is.  It sits really low to the floor and getting under the rim to get all of the shitty detritus off of it can be somewhat challenging.  But I think the biggest reason I don’t like the rectangular toilet is because we just discovered how difficult it is to change the seat.

On a fateful day in late April, I sat down on the “designer” toilet and heard a tiny crack.  One of the plastic hinges had broken, which made the seat shift.  Now… I am definitely not a slim person and never claimed to be, but I doubt I’m heavier than our new landlord is. He’s a big guy, and he used to live in this house.  He’s probably sat on that seat many times.  Based on what the hardware looked like when we removed it, I think it was the original one that came with the toilet.

Removing the seat, by the way, really took some doing because the bolts were pretty much stripped.  I think Bill had to buy a new flathead screwdriver to deal with the screw with a groove too shallow for his tools.  He also had to use Liquid Wrench to try to get the ancient bolt to release.  There was much swearing and time spent as he worked on loosening the bolts so we could replace the seat.

We naively thought it would be easy to get a new lid for the rectangular toilet.  We replaced one of the toilet seats in our last house.  It was a somewhat easy and inexpensive task.  I think we spent maybe 30 minutes and 30 euros or so.  Based on that experience, Bill and I both thought it would be simple enough to replace this seat, since we’ve seen several rectangular toilets in Germany.  In fact, there was one at the Waldhotel in the junior suite.  Our visions of simplicity were not to be realized.

Bill went down to the local hardware store and bought a seat he thought would work based on the measurements he took.  It cost about 70 euros.  The bolts on that seat were too big, so he couldn’t screw them into the toilet.  Even if he had been able to screw them in, it didn’t fit the commode properly.

I have an American friend who lives in the United Kingdom with her Irish husband and their six kids.  She was feeling my pain as I described our toilet seat search.  She says she has them in her house and never replaces the lids because they are so expensive.  Another friend echoed our frustration when she said she was never able to find an appropriately sized toddler seat for her son that would fit her rectangular commode.

After a couple of days of searching locally for the appropriate seat, Bill finally went to a British online toilet seat store, where he managed to track down the exact seat that goes to the toilet in our house.  They also had a generic one that was slightly cheaper.  Both were priced at over 200 GBP.

I suppose we could have gone to our landlord about this issue, but Bill is still quite shellshocked after dealing with our previous landlords.  Our current landlord has been very nice, respectful, and courteous, and we’d like for him to stay that way for as long as possible.  Besides, although all I was doing was using the seat in the way it was intended to be used– ie: sitting on it while I peed–, I wasn’t wanting to invite any lectures about how to use the toilet, especially since I’ve been using them for well over 40 years.

Bill ordered the original “brand name” version of the seat that goes to our toilet.  It took about two weeks to get to us, although the British supplier shipped it from a German affiliate.  After dinner last night, Bill set about trying to install it, which turned out to be quite an adventure.  It was pretty hard to get the bolts on the new seat lined up just right.  I was awkwardly trying to hold the lid up while Bill screwed, but he’d get to a point at which the screw would no longer turn.  I wished he’d brought his power screwdriver with him, but it’s 110 volts.  I guess it’s time to invest in one that can be used here.  There have been a couple of instances in which it would have come in handy.

This model is called the “Michaelangelo white”.  Given what it costs, I can see why.  It came with Phillips head screws, rather than the flathead screws that were on the original seat.

Bill was getting really frustrated, so I asked him to let me try the screwing.  Sure enough, this time, I was able to screw better than he was.  It’s not so often I can say that.  I managed to get the screw he’d been fighting all the way in, then got the other one most of the way until I had to let him take over, because his hands are stronger than mine are.  He finally got the second bolt screwed down tightly, and now our “designer” toilet is back in order.

Success!

I think our landlord recently installed new toilets in the other two bathrooms, because they are identical to each other and neither of them are shaped like this.  After this ordeal, I’m going to try to avoid using the rectangular seat.  I don’t want to tempt fate.  
Actually, I was kind of tempted to buy a washlet for the toilet, but with our luck, we’d never find one that fits properly.  For as much as we spent on that seat, we probably could have just replaced the whole thing.
Standard
housekeeping tips

I thought I was finished with toilet troubles, but…

This post is going to be a bit TMI.  Don’t read it if you’re sensitive to body humor.

I really do like our new house.  In fact, after I get the bed made today, I might even walk through and take photos for the curious.  It’s still not 100% set up yet, because we need to make a couple of minor repairs.  For instance, I have drapes that I can’t put up until we fix the curtain rod, which got pulled out of the wall when the last tenants lived here.  The drapes are sitting on a stepladder, which is in the middle of the living room.  When the rod is fixed, the stepladder will be put away.

However, after all of my grousing about the toilet in our last house, I have to admit that I also have issues with the ones in our current house.  Although none of the current toilets are “water savers” that require me to hold the button down for a minute (which I still do out of habit), they are longer on attractive design than they are on practical function.

The new toilets are nice looking, but though they don’t have “shelves” like the old fashioned German toilets do, they still catch the “stuff” that falls during everyday dumping rituals.  Consequently, I still have to flush several times and scrub to get the toilets clean after doing #2.  My German and American friends who have experienced this phenomenon understand the struggle of perpetual skid marks in the toilet bowls.

Looks like a nice toilet, and it is, but it needs a good scrubbing at least once a day.  The flusher is on the wall.  I suppose I could have shown a graphic photo of what happens after every dump, but I’m not quite that tacky.

Every time I need to take a crap, I have to break out the toilet brush.  No matter how much I wish and hope the solid stuff will not end up smeared all over the inside of the bowl, it happens just about every time.  And if you don’t clean that residue right away and it dries even a little bit, it becomes a lot harder to get rid of.

It’s a good thing we bought an extra toilet brush, because at the rate we’re going, I have a feeling we’re going to go through a few of them.  The rushing water isn’t enough to get rid of the shit.  I have to scrub, too.  And then I have to flush at least once more to get rid the shitty residual water that results after scrubbing.  Sometimes, I even have to flush a third time to get it totally clean.

Germany is certainly not the only place where toilets are troublesome.  I have a friend who lives in Belgium and has the same issue.  She has kids and they are being trained to clean the toilets every day.  When I was visiting England, I noticed that the toilets there seemed almost from a bygone era.  In order to get a good flush, I had to put some elbow grease into depressing the lever.  It was as if brute strength had a bearing on whether there would be enough water dumped into the bowl to get rid of the nasty stuff.  It reminded me of spinning the big wheel on The Price Is Right.  When I lived in Armenia, a lot of toilets couldn’t handle toilet paper at all.  We had to throw it into a trash can.  And in the 90s, people often used old books for toilet paper.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that the toilet has to be cleaned so often, though.  I mean, at this house, you really can’t let things slide.  Every dump necessitates an immediate cleaning, so the toilet doesn’t get a chance to turn really nasty.  In other houses I’ve lived in, you could sometimes let things slide, only to be faced with shitstains that were a lot harder to get rid of.  I mentioned before that the residue gets harder to scrub away once it’s been sitting.

I think the issue might be that the toilets use less water than they do in the States.  Some German toilets even have two buttons– one for #1 and one for #2.  My toilets, for the record, all have one wall mounted button.  They probably do use less water than American toilets do, but if I have to flush two or three times and clean at least once a day, that hardly seems Earth friendly.  I’d rather have a toilet that simply gets it right the first time.

There’s probably a practical solution for getting rid of so-called Bremstreifen (skid marks) left in the toilet.  In fact, this post on German Way may be helpful to more people than just me.  Perhaps I simply need to pre-flush so the bowl gets a little lubed up before I unload.  Maybe I need to learn the art of building a “nest”, which I saw referenced in a restaurant we visited last week in Schwetzingen.

I’m sure I’ll find the answer.  Maybe this is even why we’re still in Germany after four years.

Standard
anecdotes

No fouling…

Okay, so maybe I won’t be posting about doggie toilets around the world.  But I think I have amassed enough obnoxious photos of signs about dog crap that I can post them in my blog.  Since I love the odd silly blog post, I figure it’s time.  So with much fanfare, I give you signs against doggie dumpage.

Barcelona offers a graphic that everyone can understand.  And they thank us in Spanish.

 

Here’s one from Puerto Rico…

 

The Scots don’t like doggie doo…

 

They provide a bin.

 

And neither do people in my own neighborhood in Germany…

 

It’s not cool in Italy, either.

 

Despite the signs, it’s not uncommon to come across nasty piles of doo doo anyway.  I bet if I kept looking, I might find more examples of how uncouth it is to not clean up after your dog.  But a lot of people don’t clean up after their dogs, anyway.

Notice how all the dogs are facing the same direction.  Some of the signs are really negative, while a couple take a more positive approach.  In Spain, they simply thank you for cleaning up your dog’s shit.  In Germany, they plead about health and safety.  In Scotland, they are really stern and threaten a big fine.  In Italy, they quote the law.  In Puerto Rico, it looks like people ignore that the bin is really for dog crap.

Maybe if I collect enough pictures of signs, I can publish a book.  It worked for these ladies…

I actually own a copy of the book above.  I bought it last time we lived here and wish I’d brought it with me this time.  What can I say?  I am very easily entertained.

Standard
Uncategorized

Toilets of the World…

I love books, especially when they are about quirky subjects.  A few years ago, when we were living in Germany, I stumbled upon a book called Toilets of the World.  Written by Morna E. Gregory and Sian James, this was basically a picture book of plumbing facilities around the world.  From the crudest holes in the ground to the most sophisticated washlets made by the Japanese, these two ladies have covered their taboo topic terrifically.  I bought my copy of their book in 2008 and keep it by my loo to look at while I’m tending to business.

 

 

One of the toilets we encountered in Scotland…

 

I reviewed this book on Epinions.com, but it is currently “greyed out”, which means that it’s hard to find it unless you know exactly where to go.  I’ve decided to post it here for those who happen to be interested.  It really is a neat book, especially since Bill and I had occasion to visit at least one of the toilets profiled in Toilets of the World when we visited Scotland last fall.

 

Lovely pedestal sinks in the men’s room at Rothesay Pier on the Isle of Bute in Scotland.

 

 

Signs explaining how the restoration of these Victorian era toilets was undertaken. 

 

 

 

A magnificent pissoir…

 

 

They didn’t give the ladies room the same treatment.

 

 

I like the “Deluge”…

 

 

The outside is not all that impressive.

 

 

 

But it is very convenient and reasonably priced at 20 pence a piss.

 

 

I took a photo of this toilet at Arran Aromatics on the Isle of Arran because it had an ingenious child’s seat for wee ones…

 
 

This was one of the toilets in Ardgowan House near Greenock.

 
 

And this was one of the public toilets in Mount Stuart House.  Unfortunately, a lot of the ladies were trying to “hover”, which resulted in a puddle of pee on the floor…

 

Below is the review I wrote of the book, Toilets of the World.  I have read and reviewed many books about toilets and the act of going to the bathroom.  This is one that I think will really appeal to curious and intrepid travelers.  The authors have a Web site that is worth checking out.  Also, I came across a fascinating Web site called Toilet Guru, which is a site dedicated to the same thing…  

Let’s face it. Every living creature in the world must, on occasion, eliminate waste. It’s a fact of life that no one can escape and the one thing that everyone has in common. Before I spent two years serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Armenia, I assumed that everyone eliminated their waste in the same mundane manner. Like most Americans, I was used to “going to the bathroom”, which generally consists of visiting a room that includes a bathtub or shower, a sink, and a toilet. At the very least, I expected a water closet, where the sink and the tub were in one room, while the toilet was in another. The house my family lived in when my father was stationed in England had a water closet. I wasn’t exposed to the so-called squat based “Turkish toilet” until I landed in Yerevan, Armenia, where public toilets are often of the Turkish variety and many people are grateful for the fact.

As you might be able to tell from my opening paragraph, I’ve given the subject of toilets more thought than most people probably have. That’s because, I’ve just finished reading Toilets of the World (2006), a fascinating picture filled book by authors Morna E. Gregory and Sian James. This bright yellow book, which came to me wrapped in cellophane, bears the international male and female signal for toilet facilities and is decorated with euphemisms for toilets.

One wouldn’t think this book would be very appealing to anyone with “delicate” sensibilities. It does discuss a subject that affects everyone but is still taboo. A polite person doesn’t discuss their toilet habits at the dinner table, after all. But it turns out that Toilets of the World really is a very interesting book. The authors have separated this book into geographical sections. Using lots of photographs, witty captions, and occasionally more substantial text, the authors explain the different types of toilet facilities one might encounter on a trip around the world. From the lowliest hole in the ground to the most elaborate, jewel encrusted work of art, just about every conceivable crapper from every corner of the world is covered.

Some of the toilet designs in this book are truly astonishing. For instance, at Sketch in London, the public restrooms consist of a series of giant oblong “eggs” that look like they came off the set for Mork & Mindy. The eggs, which are colored pink for women and blue for men, each contain a perfectly normal toilet on which one might tend to business in comfort. At Bar 89 in Soho, New York City, the public toilets have transparent doors that look like they offer no privacy to prospective patrons. However, when the latch is turned, the doors turn opaque. How ingenious! The clear doors allow visitors an almost foolproof way to know for sure if a toilet is occupied or not. That way, no one has to look under stalls for feet or shyly tug on the door to see if anyone’s in there.

I was amazed by some of the incredible pictures in this book. Gregory and James must have had a lot of fun doing their research, collecting photographs and local toilet lore from the places that are discussed in Toilets of the World. They discuss everything from racially segregated toilets in South Africa to squat toilets in Japan that require users to don special “toilet slippers”. The plastic toilet slippers even are marked as such, with the word “toilet” printed on the toes or simply the universal man/woman toilet symbol. The authors even take on “female urinals” which allow women the opportunity to pee standing up, just like guys do. They even include instructions on how to use such a facility, although aside from trying to avoid having to sit on a toilet seat, I can’t imagine why women would want to stand while they pee.

The authors also explain certain toilet related services. For example, since I’ve lived in Germany, when I visit public toilets, I’ve often encountered the so-called Klofrau. In France, she’s known as Madame Pipi. That’s the lady (or man) who sits outside public toilets with a plate full of coins. It’s her job to see that the toilets are kept clean and to dispense toilet paper if there isn’t any already in the stall. As I was reading about this, I started to wonder what prompts someone to pursue a career as a Klofrau. Anyway, as long as they keep the toilets clean, I’m grateful for their services… as long as I have change handy, that is.

Obviously, I find this book very intriguing, but I’m guessing that it won’t appeal to everybody, especially those who are grossed out or offended by elimination. There are a few pictures of people actually using toilet facilities, though there are none that show anyone’s private parts. Most of the pictures are simply of the actual toilet facilities, the vast majority of which are clean and presentable. Though there’s not too much off color humor, the authors do include some frank discussion of the more vulgar terms for waste elimination. They also include some historical information and commentary on where some of the terms come from. I found that aspect of the book especially interesting, but I realize that some people might be turned off by it.

Because it consists mostly of photographs, Toilets of the World is a very quick read. That makes it a great book to keep in your own loo– just something to read for a few minutes while you take care of business. Of course, as I learned from this book, some people are actually lucky enough to have toilets with television screens installed nearby, eliminating the need for reading material.

In any case, I learned surprisingly new things reading Toilets of the World. I definitely recommend it to anyone who’s curious about the many different toilet traditions around the world.

 
 

Standard