Baden-Württemberg

Quick and dirty review of Fucking Hell beer…

Fucking Hell beer…  Pardon the cone of shame in the background…

 

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that Bill and I have been planning a trip to Austria next month.  One of the places I’m hoping to see is the tiny town of Fucking, Austria.  Yes, it’s immature for me to want to go there simply to take a photo of the sign.  I just can’t resist the urge, though, because I have no shame or children to worry about.

While I was researching a visit to Fucking, I was made aware of a German beer called Fucking Hell.  Obviously, this beer was so named because its creators are marketing “geniuses” who are hoping to cash in on all the foul mouthed English speakers who live in Germany.  I am a foul mouthed English speaker and I do plan to visit Fucking, where I expect to get harassed when I try to take a photo of one of the signs.

This beer was supposedly named after Fucking, though the town does not actually have a brewery.  So I knew I had to try it, especially when I read about the controversy caused when brand owners Florian Krause and Stefan Fellenberg first tried to register their product.

If you think about it, the name Fucking Hell is only potentially offensive to English speakers.  Fucking is not a German epithet and hell refers to a light German lager.  In German speaking countries, it should be perfectly fine…  although obviously, most German speakers probably know that the f word is a dirty swear.  Anyway, on with the review…

My order of Fucking Hell arrived yesterday via the very kind German mail carrier who serves my neighborhood.  I had also ordered a Fucking Hell hoodie, but I guess it’s backordered because it wasn’t in the box.  I put a few brews in the fridge to give them a chance to cool down.

I checked out reviews of Fucking Hell on the Untappd app before I tried it.  I also checked Rate Beer.  The ratings weren’t exactly preparing me for a mind blowing beer.  I think it barely rated three stars on a five star scale or came very close to three stars.  Still, this beer is made by the Hartmannsdorf Brauhaus in accordance with the German beer purity laws.  In fact, you can check out the label, written in English and German, and see where it expressly states what it in the beer and that it’s made the way the Germans think it ought to be made.  And that tells me the beer is going to be perfectly drinkable, but pretty boring.

After the beer had a chance to cool down a bit, I got myself a glass and poured the brew.   It had a somewhat foamy head composed of medium sized bubbles, lots of lacing, and the color was sort of a dark, almost amber looking hue.  I gave the beer a chance to settle somewhat, then tasted it.  It had a slightly skunky aroma, somewhat reminiscent of Heineken, though not quite as skunky as Heineken is.  To me, the flavor was slightly nutty, though not strongly so.  At 4.9% ABV, it’s not a really strong beer and it goes down fine on a hot summer day.  It’s not offensive, but it’s also not exciting or interesting.

Yes, it’s kind of hokey that this beer was named after an Austrian town that doesn’t actually have a brewery and is located nowhere near Berlin.  But there’s truth in advertising.  This beer is definitely a hell… and though it’s not exactly hell to drink it, it won’t blow your mind or burn your butt.  I doubt I will buy more of Fucking Hell, though it’s fun to drink it now and I’ll certainly be able to finish the case I purchased.

If you’re curious and don’t want to buy a whole case of this brew, you can get six or twelve packs.  The online store also offers a number of fun accessories including t-shirts and glassware.  I think it would be great if this company went to a place where there are no purity laws so they could really make this beer something interesting.  As it stands now, I think Fucking Hell is perfectly average and tastes like a lot of other mass produced beers… though it’s somewhat better than the watery likes of Budweiser or Michelob.

This is a video review of Fucking Hell.  The reviewer gets it wrong when he says it was brewed in Fucking, Austria.  It was not brewed there.  I don’t think it tastes awful, as the reviewer says, but it’s not a very interesting beer.  On the other hand, if it really tasted awful, maybe it would really live up to the name as it’s understood in English…    

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anecdotes, housekeeping tips

Hard water stain removal…

Here in the Stuttgart area, the water is full of minerals.  The minerals may be good for one’s health, but they aren’t so good for shower stalls and glassware, which stubbornly bear the hard water stains like badges of dishonor.

I had been watching with dismay as my glass shower stall became more and more opaque with the mineral stains.  Some enterprising soul in our local Facebook group asked what could be used to remove the residue.  Although I had some luck with German bathroom cleaner I was using when we first got here, I hated the way the stuff smelled (like cheap men’s cologne).  So when I went to the Real the other day, I decided to pick up some cleaner that was recommended by people in the know.

Evidence of hard water…  No amount of scrubbing with Soft Scrub or window cleaner would get rid of these hard water stains…

Frosch vinegar cleaner…  You are supposed to dilute this with water, but I didn’t have a sprayer handy.  I ended up using it straight.  Essig is the German word for vinegar, while Reiniger means cleaner.

New and improved look…  

Frosch vinegar cleaner does a good job of getting rid of those pesky stains.  It smells very strongly of vinegar and, truth be told, I probably could have just gotten some plain white vinegar and water and gotten the same result for less money.  I’ve heard lemon oil also works, though I haven’t tried that yet.   I’ll probably need to clean with it a few more times to get rid of all of the stains.  It also helps to use a squeegee…

Handheld squeegee useful for cleaning and reducing calcium deposits after showering.  Just use it to encourage the hard water to go down the drain before it dries on the glass.

This particular cleaner is vegan (!) and free from harmful chemicals.  The bottle is made of recyclable materials.  It’s also very effective detergent.  I used it to get rid of the hard water stains, but it does a good job of cleaning, too.  And it doesn’t smell like cheap men’s cologne, either.  I call Frosch vinegar cleaner a winner.

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Baden-Württemberg, Germany, restaurant reviews

Review of Taverne beim Griechen in Unterjettingen, Germany…

My husband Bill and I were in the mood for some Greek food last night.  Ordinarily, that might mean a trip to Agais, which is a Greek restaurant in Entringen we used to visit a lot when we lived in the Stuttgart area last time (2007-09).  But since we don’t live as close to Agais as we used to and we’re trying to get to know the restaurants in our new area, we decided to try a more local place.  That’s how we ended up eating at Taverne beim Griechen in Unterjettingen, Germany.

A sign by the door…

The menu

 

Taverne beim Griechen is not a place you’d easily find while driving around.  It’s located in a sports club very close to the local Aldi store.  There’s a huge parking lot next to the restaurant and when we arrived, there was a football game going on.  By the time we left, our car was the only one still in the lot, yet the restaurant was doing a booming business.  That must mean it’s popular with the locals who can easily walk there.  If the truth be told, Bill and I could have walked there ourselves.  It’s maybe two miles from our house.

The entrance to the restaurant is around the front of the building and you have to climb a flight of stairs to get to it.  Taverne beim Griechen has a good sized bar area and a couple of big flat screen TVs are mounted on the walls.  There are a lot of tables available, making it less intimate or charming.  Still, the restaurant’s interior is pleasant.  I can see how it would be popular with the sports bar crowd.  Smoking is allowed at the bar and I was reeking of it last night.

Bill waits for the waitress…

Pretty napkin fold.  Hadn’t seen one done like this before.

The woman who waited on us was very pleasant.  I don’t know if she spoke English, since Bill and I both used our elementary German skills when we ordered.  I did notice she said a couple of words in English to us, but they were as basic as our German is.  We’ll have to go back to determine if she’s bi or trilingual.  I won’t mind doing that, because the food was fabulous!

We started with an obligatory shot of ouzo…

Bill had the Korfu Teller, which at 11 euros was gyros and suflaki with vegetable (tomato and pepper) rice and t’zaziki.

I had the dorade royale, which was 16 euros and came with vegetable rice and garlic sauce…

 

Both of these dishes were excellent.  The dorade in particular was beautifully done, grilled to perfection with moist flesh.  Bill was raving about it as he helped himself to some of my fish, which was more than I could eat!  I love dorade.  I discovered it during our first stay in Germany when we first tried Greek food because I wasn’t sure I’d like t’zaziki and wasn’t feeling brave.  Of course, now I love a good plate of gyros or suflaki, but in 2007, I was new to Greek food.  And now, when I see dorade on a menu, it really tempts me.

We enjoyed a couple of glasses of red wine and some mineral water.  At the meal’s end, our waitress brought us a couple of more shots of ouzo.  She brought me a “cowardly” shot, which is basically a less alcoholic fruity liqueur typically presented to women.  It was kind of brownish and tasted like passionfruit last night, though I’ve had some that were blue or green.  I gave it to Bill and took his ouzo, since he was doing the driving.  The bill was about 45 euros.

I noticed a couple of people staring at us, probably because we obviously aren’t regulars.  I have a feeling that Taverne beim Griechen mostly serves a very local clientele who both know how to find it and are close enough to walk to it.

Taverne beim Griechen offers delicious food at a fair price, though Agais remains a favorite because I love visiting the people who own it.  Taverne beim Griechen is less intimate and charming than Agais is, though I think it might make a great venue for groups.  I can see why it’s popular with the locals in the Jettingen area.  I have a feeling we’ll be back.

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Uncategorized

Repost of my Germanwings review…

I wrote this review on Epinions.com back in 2009, so some of the information is no longer accurate.  Still, I am going to repost it here for those who are thinking about a Germanwings flight, particularly if they wish to do a “blind booking“.  At this point, I have done three blind bookings– two since this review was posted.  I still think they are a blast, even if they aren’t as good of a deal as they once were.

ETA: Germanwings is now called Eurowings.

Europe beckons… German Wings delivers, even booking blind!

 Jan 19, 2009 (Updated May 29, 2012)

Review by   
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Clean planes, professional staff, very reasonable fares and plenty of cities.

Cons:Early flight time this morning… nothing is free or included. Flies into outlying airports.

The Bottom Line: We’re loving blind booking.  Can’t wait to try it again!

My husband Bill and I are temporarily living near Stuttgart, Germany and we want to see as much of Europe as we possibly can. While I tend to be kind of skeptical about the so-called discount airlines, my ears perked up last month when Bill introduced me to German Wings and their “blind booking” program. For 29.99 Euros per person, per direction, travelers can choose a theme and purchase flights from Stuttgart, Hannover, or Cologne, Germany. The catch? You don’t know where you’re going until you’ve paid. It sounded like a great deal to me, not to mention a blast. I was game for it.

Bill and I accessed German Wings’ Web site and decided we wanted to pick a flight from the grouping of cities called “Metropolis Westeurope”. That group included Barcelona, Berlin, Hamburg, Lisbon, London, Madrid, Rome, and Vienna. Any one of those cities would have been okay with us, but had we wanted to, we could have paid an extra 2.5 euros per person and per direction to exclude one of them from the list. German Wings allows up to three exclusions and each one results in an additional five euro charge. We knew Bill would have a long weekend for Martin Luther King Day, so we plugged those dates into the database, put in our preferences, and paid using Bill’s credit card. We ended up with a flight for two going to London! I must admit, it was pretty exciting to find out where we were going. Better yet, after taxes, our round trip flights cost us the equivalent of about $145.  That’s $145 for two people.  I doubt we will ever get an equivalent deal flying from the States!

Pack light!

As I mentioned before, German Wings is a discount airline. That means it’s strictly no frills and offers only “coach class” service. We were each allowed one bag at no more than 23 kilos. Carry on luggage is limited to 8 kilograms. Once you go over that limit, you’re charged five euros per kilogram. Purses, umbrellas, and coats may be carried without any penalty. Bill usually packs light anyway, but I made an effort to economize on my luggage so that we wouldn’t be charged.  I came in well under the limit.

Check in

We arrived at Stuttgart’s airport and easily found the German Wings booth. A pleasant lady checked our passports, weighed our luggage, and issued us boarding passes. I was glad to see that German Wings has assigned seating, so Bill and I were able to sit with each other. Online check in is also available. We were on our way.

The seats…

Our flight to and from London’s Stanstead Airport was on an Airbus 319 aircraft. The seats were pretty small and set up in a three by three configuration. Being quite a bit plumper than I’d like to be, I was relieved to find that I fit in the seat with no problem, although the seatbelt was fairly short. I was able to use it without an extender, but very large or tall people might find themselves quite cramped. Leg room is also in short supply.  Since Bill and I both have short legs, we weren’t too bothered by that except for when we had to get in and out of our seats. People with long legs might have a very different experience.

As it turned out, our flights to and from London were only about half full. We had a whole row to ourselves going both directions. I was glad to see that the plane was very clean on both flights.

The staff

All flight attendants on German Wings at least speak German (naturally) and English and all onboard announcements are done in German and English. The flight attendants on our flights were very professional and efficient. One even demonstrated a sense of humor… although she did so in German! In any case, we had no issues at all with any of the staff members we encountered.

No frills!

I can’t stress enough that German Wings is a budget airline. That means no free drinks, no peanuts or crackers, and no free earphones, pillows, or blankets. However, food and drink, as well as a bizarre array of other items, are for sale on the aircraft. German Wings sells Coke products, beer, wine, prosecco, coffee, hot chocolate, tea, and a variety of juices, as well as sandwiches, candy, and chips. They also sell model German Wings planes, earphones, jewelery, and cologne.  Because German Wings is a discount airline, that means that it often flies into smaller airports further away from city centers.  London’s Stanstead airport, for instance, is a 45 minute train ride on the Stanstead Express to and from London’s Liverpool Station.  Coaches take even longer.

The flight

Right off the bat, we were happy to find that we had plenty of room on our flights because they were only about half full. No wonder German Wings is offering such deals! The 75 minute flight itself was basically very smooth and quiet. Both left on time. We did have a slight delay getting back to Germany because the Stuttgart airport was closed briefly due to freezing rain. However, that passed quickly and we landed safely after just a few minutes of circling.

One drawback to “blind booking”

The one thing Bill and I didn’t like about our blind booking experience was that we ended up with a very early flight out of Stanstead. We flew out of England at 8:00am, and because Stanstead is located about 45 minutes by train from London, that meant we were up at an ungodly hour to make our flight. However, given how inexpensive and hassle free the experience was, we think having to rise early was a small price to pay. We liked the blind booking experience so much, we’re already planning to do it again. Perhaps next time, we’ll choose the Metropolis Easteurope grouping of cities, which would allow us to surprise book Belgrade, Bucharest, Budapest, Dresden, Katowice (near Krakow), Leipzig, Sarajevo, Warsaw, or Zagreb. Since we’ve already been to Dresden, we would just pay an extra 2.5 euros each per direction to exclude it from the list.

Other information

Although German Wings has hubs in Berlin, Stuttgart, Cologne, it flies to 67 cities throughout Europe. Not all cities are included in the “blind booking” fares and blind booking can only be accessed from Berlin, Cologne, or Stuttgart. Cologne seems to be German Wings’ biggest hub.

Overall

German Wings is not a luxury airline by any stretch, but we had a perfectly nice flight that was extremely cheap. This morning, a cabbie offered to drive us from our hotel to Stanstead Airport. The fare for that 45 minute trip would have likely been more expensive than the plane tickets! We left our flight today thinking that we’d have no problem using German Wings for as many short, European based flights as possible before we get sent back to America. If you need an inexpensive Europe based flight, I think you’d do well to check out German Wings… and if you just want to try blind booking, I’d recommend that too! It may be a gimmick, but it’s definitely a fun gimmick!

German Wings’ Web site: http://www.germanwings.com/index.en.shtml

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