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Celebrating 14 years in Ireland! Part four

We woke up bright and early Saturday morning for our trip to Kilkenny.  Bill ordered a cab for 9:00am after we were told it would take at least an hour to walk to the train station from our hotel.  The cab driver arrived right on time.

A map of Ireland.

While we were in the taxi, I found myself listening to the talk show on the radio.  My ears pricked up when I heard the female commentator refer to the United States as the “United Hates of America”.  She said she didn’t see America that way, but other people did.

“The United ‘Hates’ of America, huh?” I responded.  “Wow.”

The cab driver chuckled and, naturally, that opened up yet another conversation about politics.  He gave us his impressions of our elections and we explained to him that Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Trump were not the only candidates.  They were simply the only ones most people heard much about, especially outside of the country.  Bill then explained that we live in Germany, so we’re somewhat removed from a lot of the political maelstrom that has been going on for over a year now.

We arrived at the train station a bit early, so after Bill bought us a couple of tickets, we went into a bar for a round of beer.  Yes, it was 9:30am, but I decided I wanted a beer.  We were turned away from the “outdoor” area of the bar, but inside, there were several old guys congregated.  They were all sipping Guinness, so we joined them and enjoyed the 80s music playing on the stereo.

A new book by Jodi Piccoult.

While we were sitting there in the bar, Bill told me about the funny sign at the ticket counter that read something to the effect of “Antisocial behavior will not be tolerated!  You will be caught and prosecuted!”  Little did I know, our social skills would be tested on our ride to Kilkenny.

Cute Hoor beer…
 
And the first of several Guinness beers I’ve had since our arrival…

At 10:15am, we got on our train.  It was pretty packed with people.  We were at a four top table, so we were later joined by a funky looking lady who was very intent on reading a tabloid.  We thought we would have a nice sedate ride to Kilkenny and we did…  until we stopped at Kildare.

The train stopped and a bunch of people got on…  and most of them were of the youngster set.  I heard lots of high pitched chattering as laughter as we were suddenly joined by a group of about twenty or thirty kids.  I didn’t count them; I only noticed as they made their way down the train, looking for spare seats together.  They looked like they were on the brink of adolescence– maybe ten or eleven years old.

“Urchins…” I muttered.

One kid got on the train with a backpack and a large foam rubber mat.  It was rather wide and he seemed oblivious as it smacked a few passengers he tried to pass.  A motherly looking group leader advised the lad to unhook the mat and carry it in front of him.  It seemed to take a couple of minutes before he finally got it and carried the thing in a less offensive way.

A few minutes later, the boy with the foam mat was back, along with a couple of his friends and a group leader.  The group leader very apologetically seated the boys at the four top table opposite the aisle from Bill and me.  A young man was already sitting by the window, blissfully tuned out of the action because he had ear buds planted firmly in his ears.

The overhead baggage area over the boys’ seats was full, so after prompting from yours truly, Bill very helpfully offered to put the foam mat over our seats.  This kindness opened up yet another hilarious exchange with the Irish.  You see, these boys were not the type to be quiet and shy.  I don’t actually know the boys’ names, but I’ll give them nicknames for the sake of this story.

“Where are you from?” asked the foam mat bearer– I’ll call him Seamus for simplicity’s sake.

“America.” Bill said.

“America!” another boy exclaimed– I’ll call him Lefty due to his broken hand in a cast.  “What the hell are you doing in Ireland?”

“We’re here on vacation.” Bill said.

“You can’t be here on vacation!” another kid I’ll call Ray said.  “Nobody vacations here!  Ireland is awful!”

Naturally, this unabashed comment made everyone in the vicinity crack up with laughter.

One of the boys pulled out a plastic bottle of some kind of juice.  The three of them then commenced flipping the bottle, trying to get it to land right side up.  I am told this is a game that is “all the rage” among youngsters these days, but it was the first time I’d ever seen it.  I eyed the bottle nervously, fearing that it would either break or the top would come off, making a big mess.  At one point, the bottle landed upright and the kid I call Ray started yelling “Drink! Drink! Drink!” like he was at a frat party.  My eyes widened in surprise, but perhaps I shouldn’t have been.

“So do you like Ireland?” Ray asked during a lull in the gameplay.

“Oh yes!” Bill said.

“How many states have you been to?” Lefty asked, moving on to the fact that we were Americans and apparently totally foreign to them.

“48.” Bill said.  “I have not been to Alaska and North Dakota.”

“48 states!” the boys exclaimed.  “Wow!”  They were extremely impressed that Bill had seen so many states.  When another from their group sat nearby, they eagerly told their friend about Bill’s U.S. travels.

“What state are you from?” one of the kids asked.

Bill told them he was from Texas.  I told them I’m from Virginia.  The kids continued peppering Bill with questions.  Eventually, they asked which country he’d been to that was furthest away.  For some reason, Bill said “Iraq”, although he has since been to a few African countries that are even further away from where we’ve ever lived.

Recognizing that Bill had been in the Army, the kids moved on to subject of the war.  “Did you know anyone that died?” one of the kids asked.

“Yes.” Bill said.  Thankfully, they moved on from that line of questioning… only to start talking about politics!

“Hey!  Do you think of Canada as your ‘goody two shoes neighbor to the north’?” Seamus asked, just in time for one of the roving group adults to hear him.  I gasped in surprise just as one of the group moms came over and grabbed Seamus for a talking to.  While she was chewing out Seamus, she shot Lefty what appeared to be a ‘death ray’.

“I’m so sorry,” the group mom apologized as she returned Seamus to his seat.

“Really, it’s not a problem.” I said as I laughed.  These kids were cracking me up and making the time go much faster.  I probably shouldn’t have encouraged them, but I have to admit to being similarly obnoxious… especially when I was their age.

“Oh no.” Lefty said suddenly.  “Here comes Dermott.”

Dermott was apparently the head leader of this group and he gave the impression of brooking no nonsense.  He was heading down the aisle toward the boys.

“He wears a Titanium vest!” Ray shouted.  “And if you don’t get on with him, he’ll send the IRA after you!”

“Oh my God…” I muttered to Bill, who was having a hard time containing his laughter.

“What does D.C. stand for?” Lefty asked.

“District of Columbia.” I responded.

“Isn’t Colombia a country in Africa?” one kid asked.

“No, that’s a country in South America.” Bill said.

“Isn’t it a city in Ohio?” Lefty asked.

“No, you’re thinking of Columbus.” I said.  “But good on you for being close, because a lot of people wouldn’t be.”

“We have to walk three miles to our campsite.” Lefty said.

“You’ll be alright if your rucksack is 20% of your body weight.” Bill offered.

“It’s too far.” the boys said as they flipped the bottle again.

“Hey!  Why don’t you have a go?” Lefty asked Bill as they passed him the bottle.  I shot Bill a warning look as he wisely gave the bottle back to the kids.

Finally, another stop came and a bunch of people got off the train.  One of the moms came back to our little group of comedians and told them to come with her to another part of the train.  They had found seats together.  The boys all groaned and got up to leave.  Seamus, who appeared to be the leader of the hooligans, came back because he’d forgotten his bottle.  Before he left, he said goodbye to Bill and me and gave us both a bro fist.

I have to admit, next to the train ride we took in Luxembourg with a bunch of nuns and a woman wearing Depends and a rubber phallus on her nose, that was one of the more entertaining train rides we’ve ever experienced.  It’s also not the first time Bill has become a de facto babysitter on a train.  For some reason, he attracts people in need.  Fortunately, he is great with kids and as kind and gentle as a man can be.  More on that in part five!

Ads in the train station.  I thought they were very clever!
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France and Germany… a send off from the Army– Part 7

From Nimes, Bill and I decided we’d head to Nice.  I was last in Nice in 1997 and frankly I had forgotten how beautiful this city on the French Riviera is.  In 1997, I was decidedly broke and had been on vacation for awhile…  maybe I was jaded.  Truly, it is a great city and I’m glad Bill and I had the chance to visit.  Getting there, however, turned out to be quite the ordeal.

It started with buying tickets in Nimes.  We got to the station about 45 minutes before the train to Marseille was due to leave.  That was where we’d be picking up another train that would take us to Toulon and then yet another that would go to Nice.  There was a train that went directly to Nice from Marseille, but it was full.  Bill knew this before he approached the ticket agent, a rather surly woman who wasn’t all that polite as she issued our tickets.  We waited about 20 minutes or so just to be able to speak to her, since there happened to be a shitload of people trying to buy tickets that morning.

As we were waiting, I kept hearing banging on a piano.  It turns out that a lot of train stations in France have a piano in the foyer.  Anyone is welcome to bang on it or play…  the vast majority who played that beleaguered instrument in Nimes did not possess any discernible musical talent.  Needless to say, the banging did little to boost my mood.

Piano playing in the Nimes train station…

We got on the train to Marseilles, fortunate enough to score a fold down seat facing backwards, since the train was packed.  The Marseille train station, much like the one in Lyon, was a bit of a madhouse. Actually, it wasn’t quite as bad as the Lyon station, but it was a very busy, noisy, crowded place… and yes, there was another piano.

This guy, playing the train station piano in Marseille, was actually pretty good.

The gare…

Bill and I rushed to get the train to Toulon, which turned out to be pretty full.  We managed to find two seats, but there was nowhere to store our bags.  Given that this was a two week trip, we had a few of them with us.  We watched in amazement as the train filled up with people until the aisles and spaces between cars were completely full.

We happened to be sitting across from a French woman and her father.  She spoke English and asked us where we were from and where we were headed.  She apologized for the fact that France’s trains aren’t “comfortable”.  For the record, I didn’t think the trains in France were that uncomfortable.  Just that particular one was very, very crowded… it reminded me of being in Armenia, where all forms of public transportation are liable to be completely stuffed to the gills with people, safety standards be damned!  And unfortunately, there were a couple of people standing in the aisle who really needed a shower.

At one point, there was an announcement asking anyone who could take a later train to get off, but of course, very few people chose to do that and it did nothing to alleviate the problem.  Then there was an announcement that they were going to add more cars, which would delay us and cause us to miss our connection in Toulon.  Then, the trip was cancelled altogether.  All of these developments were kindly translated for us by the English speaking French lady sitting near us.

Bill went to find out what we needed to do and we were advised that there was a train going directly to Nice at 2:30.  It was about noon, so that meant we had time for lunch at the train station.  We went to McDonald’s.  It was very packed, so we sat outside, where it was sunny, but actually very chilly because of a high wind.  McDonald’s offered free WiFi, which entertained me for a bit.  I took a couple of photos of the view into Marseille.  It actually looks like a very nice city, even if getting in and out of there was hellish.

The view of Marseille from the station…

Bill checks things out.

The Golden Arches!

After McDonalds, we went back into the train station and visited a little cafe.  It was a rather dirty, no frills kind of place, but the people who ran it were friendly and they had beer.  While we were sitting in the cafe, an older black woman and young black man came in and took a table near us.  Based on the way they were dressed, I guessed they were from somewhere in Africa.  They wore very colorful, exotic clothes that appeared to be the style of some place other than France.  They spoke French and the man drank rose wine, while his companion (maybe his mother?) drank coffee.  They were loud, but happy and frankly very entertaining to observe.  Before too long, they were joined by two other women, similarly dressed and similarly boisterous.

These folks unwittingly entertained us…

I enjoyed watching how people reacted to this group, who seemed to be having such a great time in this dingy little cafe.  Quite a few people seemed bemused, while others appeared to be annoyed.  I kind of liked it that they were there, because I love it when I’m near interesting or entertaining people.  I have no idea what they were talking about, but I appreciated the fun they were obviously having.

Our train to Nice was also very crowded, though not nearly as much as the train we’d tried to take to Toulon was.  Once again, we got seats that faced two going the other direction.  I got up to use the bathroom, but found the toilet hopelessly clogged with paper towels and cigarette butts that some asshole had left there.  I hate it when people do that, just because they need to satisfy their nic fit.  It really messes things up for other people.

An Australian woman with two small children quickly claimed the seats opposite from us.  Inwardly, I kind of sighed, since I figured the kids would make the trip more stressful.  One of the kids appeared to be about seven or eight, while the other, a toddler, was still breastfeeding.  I only know this because the kids’ mom boldly walked up and down the aisle with the girl under her shirt.  I don’t blame her for doing that, by the way.  I’m all for breastfeeding.  I guess it was just kind of different to see someone so totally unabashed about it.  You don’t see that very often in the United States.

Anyway, the mom sat with her kids for a little while and talked to us.  Bill was very solicitous, helping her with her bags, offering her Wet Naps, and chatting with her.  After awhile, mom got up and sat elsewhere with her toddler, leaving her older daughter with us.  The girl was actually pretty well behaved, even though she’d been on the train all day.  Her mom told us that they’d come from Bordeaux.  She played with an iPad most of the time.

The Australian lady had a French woman with her who had a little boy.  At first, we thought maybe the French woman was a nanny, since she seemed very solicitous toward the Australian woman’s kids.  But it later came out that they had met during the Aussie lady’s travels.  You could have fooled me.  They really seemed like they were traveling together.

Scenes from the train to Nice…

As the long train trip wore on, I was enchanted by the scenery out the window… lots of very blue water, charming towns, and palm trees, along with quite a few mountain tunnels.  I was also enchanted by Bill, who proved that he was born to be a dad.  When the girl unsuccessfully tried to open a packet of sunflower seeds, Bill took the packet for her and opened it.  He kept his eye on her the whole time.  I couldn’t help but think that maybe Aussie lady talked to us to make sure we weren’t weirdos and then totally hoped we’d babysit her kid for her.  She correctly assessed that Bill is good with kids and, while I’m not as gentle toward tykes, I’m relatively benign.  I suppose if you’re traveling for weeks alone with little kids, you have to take help whenever you can get it.

Toward the end of the trip, Mom came back to where we were sitting.  Her younger daughter, an adorable child who appeared to have a different father than her sister did, was jumping up and down on the seat and squealing in very shrill tones.  Aussie mom asked the toddler to stop jumping, since she “had a very full nappy”.  She pulled the tyke’s diaper away and peeked in to confirm her suspicions.  I was just hoping there wouldn’t be another big mess on the already messy train.  Older girl was getting restless, jumping up and down, and flipping over the seat behind her, which had been vacated.  I just tried to stay calm and quiet.  People were looking at Bill and me, as if these kids belonged to us.  Most of them looked a bit annoyed even though, truly, the older girl in particular had been very well behaved under the circumstances.

When we got to Nice, Bill helped the lady with her bags again.  I was in a hurry to get off the train and have some peace and quiet.  It had been a long, difficult day of travel and I was ready for a rest.  I also didn’t want to get drafted into more babysitting duties!

Nice was a lot bigger, busier, and more crowded than I remembered it.  It took a little time to find our lodging, a two star establishment called the Star Hotel.  Once we got there, we were warmly welcomed by a receptionist with a remarkable American accent.  It turned out she was American and had married a Frenchman while in France learning French.  I guess this was her hotel, since she told us (and we observed) that she was there most of the time.  She gave us a triple room on the top floor, with a nice little balcony that overlooked the street.  The hotel had some strange rules, like you weren’t supposed to eat or drink in your room.  Bill asked about that and the lady at the front desk explained that the hotel used have a different owner who was strict about such things.  She just asked us not to be messy and thanked us for being considerate enough to ask.

Nobody up here but us and some seagulls…

Since we were tired, we went across the street to a Lebanese restaurant for dinner.  I think we were the proprietor’s only guests.  The food was good, and we enjoyed some wine on the little balcony.  After a full night of comfortable sleep, we spent a great day in Nice.  More on that in the next post!

Lebanese food in Nice…

  

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