Tag Archives: special needs

anecdotes, Hessen

A sweet moment on yesterday’s walk…

I took the featured photo a couple of weeks ago, while passing one of the many beautiful gardens in my neighborhood.

It’s finally Friday, which means Bill will be coming home from his latest trip tomorrow. I would have liked to have gone with him to Spain for the past week or so, but it’s probably better that I didn’t. This particular business trip has been very busy for him. He has said that he’s made a few new Spanish military friends, though, which is nice to hear.

A few more photos from my neighbor’s garden…

Last night, while we were chatting, I told Bill about a sweet moment I experienced yesterday, while walking the dogs. If you are a regular reader of the travel blog, you might remember that back in March, I had an upsetting encounter with students at a school near our home. At the time, I didn’t realize that the old elementary school in our neighborhood had been turned into a school for kids with special needs.

On that day, I was walking Noyzi and Charlie, and ran into a group of kids coming down a narrow little “Weg” near the school and our house. I was on my way up, and they were on their way down. Unbeknownst to me, there was a girl in that group who was deathly afraid of dogs. One of the kids had said something to me, but I couldn’t hear or understand him.

I kept walking, and they all started screaming at me. I got really angry and screamed back in English, which shocked them into silence. Then their teacher explained and apologized. It was awkward, and I was really rattled afterwards.

Well… almost three months have since passed since that encounter, and I’ve mostly avoided any other altercations with the kids at the school. Then yesterday, as I was walking back toward the “Weg”, I heard a group of them walking down the street, headed toward our Dorfplatz.

Most days, I do a loop from my house, down the hill, around the block next to the Dorfplatz. Then, I often walk back through the Dorfplatz on the other side and head back up the hill. At the top of the hill is the street where the school is, and where Bill and I live.

I was in kind of an irritated mood. There are a lot of cars near the Dorfplatz, and I had just dodged several of them, trying to walk the dogs. I also had to avoid cars passing as I bent down to clean up one of Noyzi’s large dumps. He had suddenly dropped a load on the side of the street. Noyzi was in the street, because we’d just had to navigate around a bunch of low slung posts, that, I guess, are meant to keep people from parking on the side of the Dorfplatz, but are a real pain to walk around with dogs on leashes. The leashes often get snagged on the posts.

When I saw and heard the group of kids headed for the school, I hung back, just in case any of them feared the dogs. The last thing I was in the mood for was being screamed at again by a bunch of youngsters with special needs.

Then, as I waited on the Dorfplatz, the group of kids started to cross the street. I noticed one of them, a boy of about twelve or so, had seen the dogs and me. He offered a sincere warm smile and a wave. I was immediately moved, so I smiled and waved back, and he smiled even bigger. 🥰

That brief moment really warmed my heart, and helped propel me back home with a boost of positive energy. I also immediately realized why some people love working with children who have special needs. Sometimes they can really surprise you with a pureness of heart and genuine innocence that is completely disarming.

I hadn’t realized how much I really needed that little mental boost, and the warm fuzzies that came with it. Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty fatigued with everything. I love Germany and I really appreciate living here, but sometimes I would kind of like to go “home”… Then I realize what’s currently going on at “home”, and conclude that I would rather stay here. 😬 Germany is wonderful, and in many ways, it does feel more like home than it used to, but sometimes I do miss being in my homeland… at least the way it used to be before the Trump invasion.

Lately, it’s been hard to stay optimistic… and I was pretty upset after that initial encounter with those kids in March, followed by the workman who brazenly showed me his “junk” while standing on my neighbor’s unfinished balcony. But that one warm smile from a friendly boy in a group of youngsters was like a balm for lonely old me…

That young lad doesn’t know it, but he really brightened my day. ♥️. A warm smile and a wave from a stranger can be like a precious gift sometimes. It definitely helped me dispel some of my recent cynicism about life.

Incidentally, here are a few photos I took on a walk I took on the longer route, the other day… I noticed some of my neighbors are doing some beautification projects– painting and remodeling and such.

Well, tomorrow afternoon, Bill will finally be home at last. I look forward to seeing him. Being home alone for over a week, with no one to talk to, is hard sometimes. But, at least I have my dogs, even though they drop stinky loads on the street that I have to clean up while dodging cars. 😏

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anecdotes, Charlie and Noyzi, Hessen, rants

Another day, another sudden altercation with the locals…

Featured photo is of a creek that runs thorough my neighborhood on my usual dog walking route.

You’d think after so many years living in Germany, I would have gotten to the point at which I’m completely used to anything that might come up. But, sometimes I still get unpleasant surprises. I’m a little shaken up right now, although no harm was done.

This morning, the weather is really nice. The sun is shining, and the temperature is mild, and almost pleasant. I had a relatively good time practicing my guitar and banjo, so I was in a fairly decent mood.

The dogs were ready for their daily walk, so I took them on our usual short route. In retrospect, maybe it would have been better if we’d gone for a longer walk. Then, today’s altercation would have been easily avoided.

Noyzi and Charlie at home.

When I walk the dogs, I usually make a point of trying to avoid other people. Noyzi gets scared, and spooks when he’s around strangers. But today, I was just wanting to get back to the house, because I am doing laundry, and I don’t like to run the dryer when I’m not at home.

As I was crossing the Dorfplatz, I was thinking about this blog, and how I used to write in it a lot more than I have been lately. I started thinking about how, sometimes, I wish I were in my own country… not as it is now, but the way it was before the Trump regime began. I even had a thought about how living in another country can be inconvenient and annoying, and the charm can start to wear off after some time has passed.

I was still deep in thought about that when I turned onto Ellengasse, a narrow pedestrian thoroughfare that runs from my street to the Dorfplatz area. A bunch of teenagers and a couple of adults were coming down the hill.

I thought nothing of it, because we often run into people on that little street. Some of them come from the school that was recently repurposed from being an elementary school to being some other kind of school for older children.

After today’s incident, I’m guessing maybe kids with special needs are being taught there. I did hear someone screaming like a banshee the other day when I passed. It didn’t sound like a normal child at play’s scream, but more like wailing. (ETA: My German friend has now confirmed that the former elementary school is currently being used as a school for kids with special needs.)

A tall boy said something to me in German. I could hardly hear him and didn’t understand him, anyway, so I just kept going. People I don’t know often say stuff to me. I usually just kind of glance at them without saying anything. I just want to mind my own business and get to wherever it is I’m going.

But then, all of a sudden, the whole group started YELLING! There was one older woman in particular who seemed especially hostile as she shouted at me. I was very confused, and probably returned some hostility with my eyes.

I couldn’t begin to understand any of them. Even if I spoke fluent German, I think it would have been hard, because they took me completely by surprise. I wasn’t thinking of them, anyway. I was thinking about going home to my laundry and taking a shower. And I was thinking of Noyzi, who was getting spooked by the sudden commotion.

I stood there for about a minute, with them yelling at me, and with me probably looking puzzled and really pissed off, not understanding them over the noise, and due to my lack of language skills. Sudden verbal assaults aren’t so great for language comprehension.

Then, probably to their surprise, I shouted back, “I AM AN AMERICAN!! I don’t understand you!” It was the first time I’ve ever yelled back at Germans who were yelling at me. 😳🤭

I probably looked pretty angry, because I was. Seriously… I was just trying to go home, using a route I’ve used thousands of times. I was minding my own business, doing something perfectly legal, and not expecting to be attacked simply for walking my dogs up the hill. And I had no idea what the issue was, and didn’t want any trouble with them.

A young, handsome, adult male, who was probably a teacher, then grimaced sheepishly and said, “There’s a girl in our group who is very afraid of dogs. Would you please take another route?”

I probably still looked irritated, as I turned and walked Noyzi and Charlie the other way so the group could safely pass. Being shouted at really puts me on edge. Although in fairness to them, I do look like I could be a local.

As the group passed, the young male teacher kept looking over at me. He appeared to be rather nervous, as I walked the dogs away from Ellengasse. He repeatedly said “Thank you,” adding “She’s autistic.” I got the sense that he was a little embarrassed… as was I.

I said, “It’s okay. I understand.” After they passed, I continued the way I had been going before our unfortunate altercation.

And I do understand… but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still a bit unsettled and upset by that experience. I’m sorry I reacted that way. I’m sorry that, yet again, I have offended someone by my mere presence with my sweet, gentle dogs, while simply taking a walk in my own neighborhood.

I do sincerely wish my German was better. But sometimes, I also kind of wish I could just go home and be in my own country, where this kind of unnerving thing is less likely to happen. On the other hand, I’m a lot more likely to be shot by a rando in the USA than I am here. I guess being shot is much worse than being screamed at by total strangers in my neighborhood.

It’s not the first time I’ve been yelled at by random Germans for doing something perfectly normal in a situation that wasn’t quite normal. I don’t know what my facial expression was… I’ve been told that when I’m upset, I look pretty mean… and I have a feeling I looked angry when they started yelling at me. I don’t take kindly to that at all, even though they had a good reason to say something to me.

But Jesus Christ… what if I was deaf? Or had some other kind of disability that made it impossible for me to understand what the problem was? There was a time in my life that a confrontation like that would have made me burst into tears from humiliation and fear. I was once that fragile, years ago… before I got chemical help for depression.

Anyway… now I can go take a shower and spend the rest of the afternoon recovering from that incident. Living here does give me a lot of empathy for people in the United States who can’t yet speak English, as I feel bad for not being fluent in German. On the other hand, it’s never effective to yell at people if you actually expect them to listen. Especially when they’re total strangers.

I guess it just goes to show you that even on a fifteen minute walk in your neighborhood, unusual, unexpected, and unpleasant things can still happen.

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