Person walking two dogs through a historic half-timbered village

Charlie and Noyzi, communication, customs, Hessen, laws, rants

AI teaches me about the German stare… Soziale Kontrolle…

Yeah… the AI picture is pretty much what it looked like.

Bill and I have now spent over half our marriage living in Germany. He spent three years here as a young lieutenant in the 1980s. Then, we moved here in 2007 for two more years. Then, we came back in 2014, and have been living in Germany ever since. We’ve also visited Germany on vacations, when we weren’t living here.

The one thing I don’t think I’ll ever get used to is the German “stare”. It’s a phenomenon I’ve experienced more times than I could ever count.

The German stare isn’t like your garden variety stare. It’s a certain look of disapproval. Sometimes it’s subtle, like a quiet side eye. Sometimes, it’s very obvious. Sometimes it’s silent. Sometimes it’s delivered with a stern dressing down.

It always amazes me that some people feel perfectly fine about conspicuously staring at what other people are doing, looking on in disdain, or even feeling like they have the right to “speak” to a perfect stranger who is just going about their business and wants to be left alone. But this this is a fact of life in Germany… which doesn’t mean I don’t love living here. It’s just something I feel like writing about today, as I wait for the laundry to finish drying.

I’m prompted to write about the German stare this morning because of something that happened yesterday, as I was walking Noyzi and Charlie. If you follow my other blog, you might know that yesterday’s post was a song parody. And while the song parody is basically just an old pop song with new lyrics about Trump’s flatulence, it still took me awhile to create it and turn it into a video.

I make music videos for fun, and as a way to express myself creatively. Sometimes, I actually feel compelled to write song parodies. They help me cope. But they take a lot of work, and significant time, and because of that, yesterday, I was walking the dogs later in the morning.

The Dorfplatz was busier than usual, as the dogs and I walked down the hill from Am Rathaus. Several people were sitting there, enjoying our town’s central meeting spot. There was a woman with a small child, another woman with a baby in a pram, and an elderly lady with a cane. I walked past them on my normal 15 minute route.

Less than a minute after we passed the ladies in the Dorfplatz, Noyzi suddenly decided to crouch in “dump” position. He dropped a big pile of crap on the side of the street.

As Noyzi was pooping, a man in a black SUV was approaching in the opposite direction. He obviously noticed Noyzi’s activity and STOPPED his car to rubberneck. I glared at him as I pulled a bright red shit bag out of my pocket, so I could clean up the pile of excrement.

As I opened the bag and bent over to pick up Noyzi’s deposit, the man sped off. Meanwhile, the elderly lady who had been in the Dorfplatz started yelling something at me. I could tell she was talking about the dogs, and it sounded like she was asking a question.

Unfortunately for her, I was in no mood for chatter, and I suspected she was concerned about having to share the sidewalk with us. I quickly picked up the poop and scurried off ahead of her. I didn’t want to cross the street or hinder, or be hindered, by her.

On the way back through the Dorfplatz, I dropped the sack of crap into a public trashcan. The walk was soon completed, and I temporarily put the incident out of my mind.

While I was chatting with Bill after dinner last night, I decided to do a Google search to see if other people had posted about this phenomenon… the German stare… which I definitely received from the guy in the SUV. I typed the following search string:

“german stopped his car when my dog pooped”

Google now has AI in its search bar, and my query prompted AI to give me an answer. I have to admit, it was an amusing exchange:

*Well… yeah, nobody likes to step in dog poop. But why would you automatically take it upon yourself to police a total stranger? Especially when you’re driving?*

I was intrigued by this exchange with AI, so I responded again.

“he moved on when I pulled out a bag and gave him a dirty look”

Yeah… but why did he feel like it was right and proper to just stop in the middle of the street, perhaps inconveniencing other people? Was it really that earth shattering to make sure I cleaned up after Noyzi?

And what if I didn’t clean up the mess? Was he going to get out of the car and yell at me? Would he roll down the window and chastise me? Call the Polizei, maybe? Obviously, what I was doing was VERY important to this dude. But to me, his sudden attention was creepy, weird, and most unwelcome.

I responded again with this:

“It was silent.”

AI gratified me by reassuring me that I did the right thing…

*He didn’t “force” me to do anything, though. It’s my habit to clean up my dogs’ messes. He prompted me to look at him with extreme irritation.*

I gave AI another response:

“I live in Germany.”

AI made another response, full of assumptions about the conditions of my life here.

They aren’t “trying” to be rude, but it IS kind of rude to assume someone might not clean up after their dogs. On the other hand, I have seen plenty of evidence that a lot of people don’t clean up their dogs’ shit. 🤷‍♀️

I ended the “chat” with AI with this:

“it definitely wasn’t my first time being stared at.”

AI, once again, complimented and edified me, congratulating me on my “thick skin”. Yeah, my skin is thick with adipose, but I’ll always find the “German stare” impolite and annoying… and I will respond accordingly, because I’m childish that way…

*Again, another assumption. I don’t think I’ll ever “get used to” the monitoring. I do find it irritating. But I understand that’s just how life is here, and I’ll never change it.*

At that point, I decided I was bored with my exchange with Google AI about cleaning up dog shit. However, that exchange made me realize why some people see AI as a friend they’ve never had. It’s weird to be having that kind of an exchange with my computer, with it reassuring me and teaching me about a place I’ve lived in for years, now. AI could be your best friend or worst enemy, I suppose.

I often think back on my life and realize that when I was born, The Brady Bunch was still in its first prime time run on ABC. Now, in my 54th year of life, I’m having conversations with artificial intelligence on my iPad, and it’s telling me about German laws.

As the man in the 90s used to sing, “How Bizarre!”

I guess this dates me, too…

Also… Facebook memories tells me that this same thing happened on September 1 five years ago…

*Yup. Maybe it’s a seasonal thing. I do remember, in this case, taking my time cleaning it up, so she’d be forced to linger longer. What can I say? Sometimes, I’m pretty petty.* 😈

Ah well… maybe today’s walk will be less obnoxious. On the way back home, I had to wait for several cars to pass before I could cross the street. And this is in our little village, which has no stop lights. But at least no one showed me their penis. So that’s a plus…

Annoyances, holidays, rants

What Memorial Day? 🤬

Hi everybody. This is going to be a very quick update, because I don’t have much of anything to report this week. Bill has gone to Spain. He left this past Thursday, and will be spending Memorial Day working… and then he will come back Saturday.

I’m rather irritated, because his work also ruined Labor Day weekend last year. This is something he says his co-worker does, possibly for his own benefit. The guy, who is from the US, plans conferences, often around US holidays. He likes to do frequent TDYs. It’s annoying.

On the other hand, at least Bill has a job… It pays pretty well. I also know he’ll make it up to me eventually. And at least with this guy he’s now working with, they’re going to interesting places rather than the same post in Germany, over and over again.

Anyway, the upshot is, I’m stuck here at home alone. The temperature has finally become seasonal, so I dragged out the air conditioner yesterday. I’m so glad we bought it last summer, even though our old AC crapped out at the end of the summer of ’25, as it was cooling off.

It was hot yesterday, and the neighbors were playing loud music that would have made me choose between their noise, but some air flow in the room, or being hot, but not hearing as much noise. Never mind the bass thudding until late into the evening.

I know I sound a bit crabby. The fact is, I am a bit crabby… and for a lot of reasons, actually. I kind of don’t feel all that well… That’s a big part of the reason for my crabbiness. There are other reasons, of course, but I’m not going to go into them in this post.

I did manage to go to the grocery store yesterday. I dropped off a crate of plastic bottles, but was not aware that the REWE in our neighborhood no longer lets people use the Pfand for money off of their food. I had a receipt worth 4,25 euros, and was unaware that they changed their policy. I could only use the pfand receipt for money off of drinks. It wasn’t a huge deal, but I was a bit annoyed about it.

I don’t know what the reason behind this policy is, but it’s irritating. Bill told me about it last night, after his day of work, when I told him what happened. The new policy must have been implemented within the past few months.

While I was at the store, I took today’s photo, which is of the gay pride flag at REWE. I don’t have a problem with it, myself, but I did catch myself thinking about how such a flag would go over in my homeland. What’s going on over there is another reason for my crabbiness.

At least the sun is out. Maybe I’ll go outside and enjoy it. I usually don’t drink when Bill is out of town, but this week, I think I’m just gonna say “fuck it.” I might as well enjoy myself. (Edited to add: I cooked some pasta, instead, and skipped the beer.)

Sometimes, this life sucks a bit… but at least we have nice dogs to keep me company. And at least I’m in Europe.

anecdotes, Charlie and Noyzi, Hessen, rants

Another day, another sudden altercation with the locals…

Featured photo is of a creek that runs thorough my neighborhood on my usual dog walking route.

You’d think after so many years living in Germany, I would have gotten to the point at which I’m completely used to anything that might come up. But, sometimes I still get unpleasant surprises. I’m a little shaken up right now, although no harm was done.

This morning, the weather is really nice. The sun is shining, and the temperature is mild, and almost pleasant. I had a relatively good time practicing my guitar and banjo, so I was in a fairly decent mood.

The dogs were ready for their daily walk, so I took them on our usual short route. In retrospect, maybe it would have been better if we’d gone for a longer walk. Then, today’s altercation would have been easily avoided.

When I walk the dogs, I usually make a point of trying to avoid other people. Noyzi gets scared, and spooks when he’s around strangers. But today, I was just wanting to get back to the house, because I am doing laundry, and I don’t like to run the dryer when I’m not at home.

As I was crossing the Dorfplatz, I was thinking about this blog, and how I used to write in it a lot more than I have been lately. I started thinking about how, sometimes, I wish I were in my own country… not as it is now, but the way it was before the Trump regime began. I even had a thought about how living in another country can be inconvenient and annoying, and the charm can start to wear off after some time has passed.

I was still deep in thought about that when I turned onto Ellengasse, a narrow pedestrian thoroughfare that runs from my street to the Dorfplatz area. A bunch of teenagers and a couple of adults were coming down the hill.

I thought nothing of it, because we often run into people on that little street. Some of them come from the school that was recently repurposed from being an elementary school to being some other kind of school for older children.

After today’s incident, I’m guessing maybe kids with special needs are being taught there. I did hear someone screaming like a banshee the other day when I passed. It didn’t sound like a normal child at play’s scream, but more like wailing. (ETA: My German friend has now confirmed that the former elementary school is currently being used as a school for kids with special needs.)

A tall boy said something to me in German. I could hardly hear him and didn’t understand him, anyway, so I just kept going. People I don’t know often say stuff to me. I usually just kind of glance at them without saying anything. I just want to mind my own business and get to wherever it is I’m going.

But then, all of a sudden, the whole group started YELLING! There was one older woman in particular who seemed especially hostile as she shouted at me. I was very confused, and probably returned some hostility with my eyes.

I couldn’t begin to understand any of them. Even if I spoke fluent German, I think it would have been hard, because they took me completely by surprise. I wasn’t thinking of them, anyway. I was thinking about going home to my laundry and taking a shower. And I was thinking of Noyzi, who was getting spooked by the sudden commotion.

I stood there for about a minute, with them yelling at me, and with me probably looking puzzled and really pissed off, not understanding them over the noise, and due to my lack of language skills. Sudden verbal assaults aren’t so great for language comprehension.

Then, probably to their surprise, I shouted back, “I AM AN AMERICAN!! I don’t understand you!” It was the first time I’ve ever yelled back at Germans who were yelling at me. 😳🤭

I probably looked pretty angry, because I was. Seriously… I was just trying to go home, using a route I’ve used thousands of times. I was minding my own business, doing something perfectly legal, and not expecting to be attacked simply for walking my dogs up the hill. And I had no idea what the issue was, and didn’t want any trouble with them.

A young, handsome, adult male, who was probably a teacher, then grimaced sheepishly and said, “There’s a girl in our group who is very afraid of dogs. Would you please take another route?”

I probably still looked irritated, as I turned and walked Noyzi and Charlie the other way so the group could safely pass. Being shouted at really puts me on edge. Although in fairness to them, I do look like I could be a local.

As the group passed, the young male teacher kept looking over at me. He appeared to be rather nervous, as I walked the dogs away from Ellengasse. He repeatedly said “Thank you,” adding “She’s autistic.” I got the sense that he was a little embarrassed… as was I.

I said, “It’s okay. I understand.” After they passed, I continued the way I had been going before our unfortunate altercation.

And I do understand… but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still a bit unsettled and upset by that experience. I’m sorry I reacted that way. I’m sorry that, yet again, I have offended someone by my mere presence with my sweet, gentle dogs, while simply taking a walk in my own neighborhood.

I do sincerely wish my German was better. But sometimes, I also kind of wish I could just go home and be in my own country, where this kind of unnerving thing is less likely to happen. On the other hand, I’m a lot more likely to be shot by a rando in the USA than I am here. I guess being shot is much worse than being screamed at by total strangers in my neighborhood.

It’s not the first time I’ve been yelled at by random Germans for doing something perfectly normal in a situation that wasn’t quite normal. I don’t know what my facial expression was… I’ve been told that when I’m upset, I look pretty mean… and I have a feeling I looked angry when they started yelling at me. I don’t take kindly to that at all, even though they had a good reason to say something to me.

But Jesus Christ… what if I was deaf? Or had some other kind of disability that made it impossible for me to understand what the problem was? There was a time in my life that a confrontation like that would have made me burst into tears from humiliation and fear. I was once that fragile, years ago… before I got chemical help for depression.

Anyway… now I can go take a shower and spend the rest of the afternoon recovering from that incident. Living here does give me a lot of empathy for people in the United States who can’t yet speak English, as I feel bad for not being fluent in German. On the other hand, it’s never effective to yell at people if you actually expect them to listen. Especially when they’re total strangers.

I guess it just goes to show you that even on a fifteen minute walk in your neighborhood, unusual, unexpected, and unpleasant things can still happen.

Hessen, rants

MLK weekend 2026… hunkered down in Hessen…

The featured image is a Christmas decoration one of my neighbors still had up the other day when I walked the dogs…

Sadly, unlike last year, when we took a trip to Basel, this year we haven’t gone anywhere. Bill was away on business last week, in our old stomping grounds of Stuttgart. He got back on Thursday, which delighted the dogs and me. Ordinarily, we would have tried to take a short trip, or something, but this year it wasn’t really possible. Besides, given what’s going on right now, I’m not even sure how welcome we’d be. Maybe another trip to Switzerland would be okay… The Swiss are famously neutral, after all.

We do have a trip to the Stuttgart suburb of Waiblingen coming up in a couple of weeks. It’s so we can get our teeth cleaned. We’ll spend a few days enjoying some of the restaurants there and a change of scenery. We don’t really need to stay in Waiblingen, but I found us an interesting looking place that has a well-regarded restaurant. It’s a chance to experience something new and generate some content for this blog.

As for the rest of the year? Who knows? The way Trump is talking, we’re going back to war. 🙄 This time, it’ll be with our allies! It’s so distressing to be here and have to witness this madness. I deeply resent Donald Trump making ordinary Americans enemies to people from other countries because of his insanity and stupidity. Most Americans are not batshit crazy, but he’s making it look like we are.

Sigh… maybe it is time to just go home. Maybe if I’m lucky, ICE will off me, and I can go out with a bang.

Bill has a couple of business trips coming up. At least one of them is with NATO. It hasn’t been called off yet… but who knows what’s going to happen? This is a mess, and it really sucks.

I’m sorry that this post isn’t like my usual stuff, but I try to be honest when I write these things. Living over here isn’t always easy or hearts and roses… but when your own POTUS is completely nuts and is determined to make the world think all of us Americans are nuts, that’s something else again. I don’t like to be political on this blog, but sometimes situations warrant it. We are living here, after all, because of politicians.

I am reminded that last year on this date, we had a delightful $1000 lunch at a three star Michelin restaurant. This year, we’re at home, the weather sucks, and we’re wondering if we’re going to have to move. And all because so many people hated the idea of having an educated Black woman living in the White House.

Anyway… hopefully we’ll stay out of Greenland… I can’t imagine that most sane military servicemembers would have the heart to attack the people of Greenland, or any other Europeans.

Hessen, rants, supermarkets

Going to the Globus is exhausting!

I don’t have a lot to report about this week. I mostly stayed home and wrapped Christmas presents, or otherwise tended to business as usual. I also made more videos than usual, although maybe that’s a lost cause. Every once in awhile, I make a video that resonates, which then attracts haters. The rest of the time, people don’t care about my videos… but they still get more hits than my blogs do!

We did go out to the Globus yesterday. I have written about Globus before, so I’m not going to get into the specifics of what it is. Suffice to say, it’s a huge store– like Walmart on steroids– that has everything from toys to household goods to groceries. I don’t think I’ve ever explored the whole thing. I find going there utterly exhausting. However, they do have a nice booze section, and sometimes it’s a good place to go if we need something unusual.

Bill and I killed what was left of our vodka the other night (it was about two or three shots). I don’t drink that much hard liquor anymore, because it really seems to upset my stomach. Lately, I have mostly been sticking to hefeweizens. But we do keep some of it around for the odd occasions when we have cocktails. So we went to Globus and ended up buying some toys for Bill’s grandchildren, candles in case we break out the fancy china on Christmas, some liquor and wine, and a chicken for last night’s dinner.

I’m not even sure how long we were in the Globus, but by the time we had crossed the store from the toy section to the meat section, I really felt tired, numb, and apathetic. There was a time in my life when I liked going to huge stores, but now they cause sensory overload and fatigue. It was bad enough yesterday that I worried about collapsing in the store! I’d hate to have to work there! I guess this is just one more thing about getting older.

I remember when my mom, an Air Force wife, was about my age, or a little younger, she didn’t like going to the large commissaries at Fort Eustis or Langley Air Force Base. About once a month, she’d make a trip to the Naval Weapons Station in Yorktown, Virginia, which had a smaller commissary that had pretty much all we needed. Back then, I never understood why she preferred the smaller store, which was closer to our house, too. Now that I’m 52, I understand it perfectly.

Of course, the commissary at the Naval Weapons Station closed many years ago, so my mom eventually did have to start going to Fort Eustis when she wanted to stock up and get somewhat less expensive military commissary prices. Now, she lives on Fort Monroe, which is no longer an Army post, and shops at a regular grocery store. Fort Monroe used to have a commissary and other military stores.

When we were at Globus yesterday, I was thinking about how I’d rather be at our neighborhood Rewe, which is much smaller, but has pretty much everything we need and isn’t quite as tiring to navigate. I mean, it takes energy just to walk the length of the Globus. When we got home last night, I needed to rest for about an hour! Below are a few photos from our trip… Yes, we did a booze run. Globus is better for booze shopping than Rewe is.

And below are a few goofy dog photos of Noyzi and Charlie… They were wanting a walk.

I’m not sure what we’ll do today, if anything. This is the time of year we tend to hibernate. It does look like we have better weather, though. I suppose we could decide to go out somewhere, although Bill says he wants to go on post today and order heating oil and get something for dinner. I think I’ll stay home and read.

anecdotes, Champagne Bucket trips, rants

Our 21st anniversary wasn’t unlike our wedding day…

21 years ago today, Bill and I got married at Virginia Military Institute in Lexington, Virginia. On that day, we had rain, a bitchy florist, a caterer who packed things up before my mother-in-law could say goodbye to us, a fainting spell from my father-in-law right before our vows, a photographer who took pictures of the fainting, and an unlucky visit from Aunt Flow. The good news is, our marriage is thriving regardless… and it will continue to thrive after today’s craziness, too.

This morning, I told Bill I thought it might be a good day to visit the Hrazdan Gorge, and maybe the Genocide Memorial. I used to live near T’sitsernakaberd (Genocide Memorial), which is close to the Gorge and has a nice park around it. When I lived here in the 90s, I used to walk through the Gorge somewhat regularly. At least when I lived near the Genocide Memorial, anyway. Maybe not so much during the first year.

Anyway, our hotel is also near the Gorge, but from Mashtots Avenue, which is in a different part of Yerevan from where I lived. I thought we could walk through there from Mashtots and work our way to the other side of the Gorge.

We went to breakfast, and things got off to a good start. The food and beverage manager noticed I speak some Armenian and asked me about it. I told her it was our anniversary and I had come back to Armenia after 26 years. She sent us a bottle of red wine as a congratulations. It was waiting for us after our weird day. Maybe we’ll enjoy it today.

After breakfast, we got on our way. All was fine until we started heading down the crumbling steps leading to the Gorge. There weren’t many people there. Suddenly, a man wearing sunglasses and a hat showed up. He was right behind us as we started to descend. It made me nervous, so we stopped to let him pass. He passed, went down to the bottom of the steps, and turned left. We waited to see if he would keep walking, but he soon turned the other way, and kind of loitered for awhile, as if to see if we were still coming. It seemed kind of sketchy, so I told Bill I didn’t think it was a good idea to go down there. He agreed, and we made our way back up the steps. Later, we noticed the guy who was following us also came back up the steps. He wasn’t subtle at all, and seemed to be up to no good.

The Gorge is also near the Yerevan and Ararat Brandy factories. I thought maybe we could go take tours or something, rather than walk through the Gorge. We headed over to the Ararat factory, but thanks to a faulty light at the crosswalk, we weren’t able to cross the street safely. The light would turn green for us, but cars were still spewing through the intersection. So we decided to walk toward the stadium. That was okay, until some guy pulled over and urinated in front of us. That’s nothing we haven’t seen before many times, but we never relish seeing it.

We walked for awhile along the Gorge. I thought maybe we could figure out a way to get to the Memorial. But there was construction going on, and the sidewalk kind of ended abruptly. It didn’t seem like a good idea to keep going. So we turned around and said hello to a couple of very sweet and friendly looking street dogs. Then we walked back up toward our hotel…

I should mention, something not having anything to do with Armenia also happened today. I got a rude comment on my latest video.

I made this video last week for Bill, as part of our anniversary celebration…

Some random asshole left this comment (copied and pasted exactly as he left it)…

Don’t give up your day job

Joke’s on him, of course. I don’t have a day job. Nevertheless, I left him this response.

Thanks for the hit! 😉 In your profile picture, it looks like you’re taking a dump. That must be where you do your best work.

🙂 I will never understand what compels people to leave rude comments for those they don’t even know, on things they don’t have to read or watch. Especially when they, themselves, aren’t exactly any great shakes. Fuckwad, here, barely has any content on his channel and has just six subscribers, so I don’t know what qualifies him to harass me on my channel. In any case, I hope he falls into an open manhole.

I was still kind of ruminating about that comment– and no, it’s not that I care about the guy’s opinion, or even that it ruined my day. I’m kind of proud of my zinger, after all. I guess I just don’t get the psychology of such a thing. If I don’t like someone’s video or post on social media, I simply keep scrolling. But some people like to shit on others, and I’m afraid that’s what happened today. He didn’t even downvote me or anything. Just left a crappy, stale, and lame comment for my video on my wedding anniversary. I guess his time on the toilet has led to a creative block that has kept him from coming up with more original insults toward strangers.

We ended up at a restaurant called The Garden. It wasn’t a bad experience, although the service was kind of inattentive. We didn’t care, as we were just having snacks and beer, in anticipation for tonight’s meal, which we expected would be good. After we went to The Garden, we went back to the Opera House to see if the guy who sold us art the other day was still there. He wasn’t, and Bill really needed to pee. Fortunately, there is a toilet near the Opera House now. It costs 100 dram and is worth every luma. The unsmiling woman who tends it keeps it super clean and stocked. It’s a handy place to know about if you’re ever near the Opera House in Yerevan and need to pee (or whatever else).

Our reservations were for 7:30 PM. As the time went on, I yawned a bit, and wasn’t really in the mood to go out. But since it was our anniversary, I put on makeup and a dress. I curled my hair… and I even shaved my underarms. Off we went, and the whole dinner experience was a disappointment from start to finish. They had to search for our reservation, and sat us next to the kitchen, which was loud, and put me in the line of heat from the kitchen and a draft from outside.

The sommelier was a bit oily, and upsold the wine to Bill, then went through an elaborate wine service. We ordered dinner, with the anticipation that we’d have dessert. But as we sat in the restaurant, I noticed people having wedding and anniversary celebrations. Even a waiter got a flaming dessert. I didn’t care so much about having a flaming dessert, but when we mentioned it was our anniversary, no one even wished us a good one. They were playing super loud music and setting cakes on fire for other people. Did I really shave my armpits for THIS?

And when I finally went to pour my own wine, because the wait staff was weeded (or fucking around), a young man suddenly raced over to me, grabbed the decanter from my hand, and poured the wine. Bill thought maybe he was afraid I’d break the decanter, but I think this was supposed to be his idea of “good service”. It was anything but, and I was extremely annoyed, especially when the guy poured the wine, but didn’t bother to clear the table of dirty dishes. I finally scraped my plate clean and moved it to the other side of the table, after he poured the last of the wine.

Adding to the chaos was the very loud music, later provided by a female singer and what sounded like backing tracks. She was a good singer, and the tracks weren’t terrible, but her singing made it impossible to have a conversation, and it was not a whole lot better than karaoke.

I finally said to Bill, “I’ve about had enough of this shit. Let’s get out of here and have dessert at our hotel.” So that’s what we did. Bill paid for dinner and we got the hell out of there. We went to the restaurant in our hotel, had lovely desserts, fine brandies, and listened to much better jazz music played by real musicians and another female singer (who seemed to be channeling Adele). The excellent staff at our hotel restaurant saved the evening, so we made a dinner reservation for tomorrow night.

We have two more nights here until we get up in the very wee hours of Sunday morning and head back to Germany. I think we will still enjoy the rest of our time in Armenia. It has, overall, been a magical trip. But today was definitely a bit weird…

On the other hand, no one died, no one got robbed or raped, and when I get home, I can make even more videos for people like the fuckhead who told me to “keep my day job.” Too bad that guy’s mama wasn’t, instead, working at her day job on the day he was conceived. 😉 And the people at the hotel restaurant really did help us save our weird ass anniversary.

Time to close this post. Got to go to bed. Here’s to 21 years. Tomorrow will be a better day.

housekeeping tips, Military, rants

Repost: Launderette etiquette… dryer hogs!

I wrote this piece for my original OH blog on August 9, 2014. That means this post is exactly NINE years old! I’m leaving it “as/is”, so whatever’s in it was accurate as of 2014. I’m really glad I don’t have this problem anymore. Fair warning… there is minor profanity in this post. It was written when I still lived in Stuttgart.

One thing I have noticed that hasn’t changed in the years since we last lived as Americans in Stuttgart is that when it comes to laundry, people can be incredibly inconsiderate. When we first moved here in 2007, doing laundry was an unpleasant weekly ritual. In those days, Panzer didn’t have the huge hotel that it now has; they were building it as we were leaving in 2009. Now that Panzer has a hotel and it has its own laundry room, the launderette doesn’t get quite as busy as it did pre 2010 or so. But last time we were here, it was not uncommon for people to do tons of laundry during peak times, hogging washers and especially dryers, and holding up everyone else.

This morning, Bill and I took a trip to Panzer Kaserne to get our laundry done. We had two small plastic bags full of laundry that needed doing. I dreaded going to the launderette, because I spent way too much time there during our first tour. The laundry room on Panzer has about 12 washing machines and, generally speaking, it’s no problem to get one or two of them without any waiting. But there are only eight dryers and one or two of them are always broken. That was true in 2007 and it’s still true today (there were two down this morning). So that means there are only six dryers that can be used.

You get someone who needs to do a shitload of laundry– people who are stuck in local hotels or people who have a bunch of kids and need to knock out that little chore… and even people who have a place to live, but just want to avail themselves of a larger washer/dryer. German machines are smaller and take longer to get through a cycle than American machines do. All of these folks come to the launderette on a Saturday morning, the one day that most everyone has off from work. They do a mass load of laundry, then proceed to use more than one dryer to dry their clothes, blankets, and whatever else they have.

This morning, I witnessed a man load up four dryers. That’s four out of the six dryers that were operating. I couldn’t believe my eyes or that man’s nerve. I honestly couldn’t believe he thought that was okay. Obviously, he’d never had to wait for a lone dryer to free up, right?

Granted, when the dryer hog loaded the dryers, I was still waiting for my washer to finish the last of its cycle. But there were at least two people ahead of me who also needed a dryer. One was a guy who ended up just leaving, seemingly in disgust. The other was a nice couple here in Stuttgart on vacation. As we were waiting for Mr. Inconsiderate to get a clue, another lady came in to do her wash, as did one who obviously just needed to use a dryer and left when she saw there was a line. And then two or three other folks arrived and the launderette was soon very busy.

I admit, I got rather bitchy and more than a little passive aggressive, loudly commenting that I only needed one dryer to get my stuff dry. The dryer hog, to his credit, did eventually get a clue and start freeing up machines for other folks who were waiting. I did hear him say, though, as he was unloading and folding his laundry one machine at a time, “I know folks are waiting, but I’ve only got two hands!”

Dude… take your shit out of the machines and fold your clothes after they’re out so other people can get started! Are you really that situationally unaware and/or rude?! Jeez!

The dryer hog did appear to have a number of friends, which makes me think he must otherwise be a nice person. And I’m sure he thought he could get away with hogging the dryers on a Saturday morning. I would say that if you’re at the launderette in the wee hours of the morning and you need four dryers, knock yourself out. But on a Saturday after 9:00am, you need to be more considerate of other people who are also trying to get that one little pesky chore done. We all want clean underwear, and I’m willing to fight for the right to stain and stench free drawers!

It’s bad enough when people leave their clothes in a machine forever… don’t even get me started on the ones who do that with washing machines when there aren’t other others available for use. But hogging a bunch of dryers just because you think no one else needs them is just a shitty thing to do. If there are other people doing laundry, they are very likely going to need access to a dryer, unless they are fortunate enough to have access to a clothesline. It takes longer to dry clothes than it does to wash them. So when you hog four machines out of six, you really are screwing over your fellow Americans at the Panzer Launderette!

Bill was walking the dogs while I was waiting for a dryer and then my clothes to get done. We weren’t held up too much and, unlike the cute couple I chatted with while we were waiting, I wasn’t wasting precious vacation time. With any luck, we will get to move into a one room apartment for the next few weeks while we look for a more permanent place to live, and then this issue will be a non-issue for me once again.

rants

A rant about the CDC’s new rule about importing pets…

If you are a regular reader of my blogs, you know that I have two adorable furry family members. At this writing, our dogs are Arran and Noyzi. Prior to our acquisition of Noyzi, we had another dog named Zane, who sadly died of lymphoma on August 31, 2019. The featured photo today is of Zane and Arran on August 2, 2014, when we flew from Houston, Texas to Frankfurt, Germany on a Lufthansa flight.

Bill and I have always had dogs. Next month, we will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary. Our dogs have been our family members, because we were not able to have children. Although I don’t require an emotional support animal, I do rely on my dogs to keep my company when Bill travels. Prior to the pandemic and, more specifically, the new CDC restriction on bringing animals into the United States, it was a pain in the butt to move abroad with pets. Now, it’s become a real hassle for people who have to return home from living overseas. I fear that this new rule may cause a lot of pets to be abandoned. Here in Germany, that is bad news, since Americans already have a terrible reputation for abandoning their pets when it’s time to move. It really sucks for those of us who are dedicated pet owners.

This morning, The New York Times ran an article about the new rule and how it affects people who travel with their pets, or Americans who live abroad. I am a subscriber to The New York Times and have gifted this article, so you should be able to click the link and read it for free. I am a member of a Facebook group for people who are “PCSing” with pets, and there’s been a lot of worry about how to get dogs and cats safely to places abroad. Many of the people traveling with pets are young folks who don’t have thousands of dollars to spend on hiring pet shippers. And many of the people in Germany or other countries with pets brought their animals before this new rule suddenly went into effect. I have noticed that the government has, sort of, been trying to gradually phase in the most draconian parts of this new rule. But they still pose a huge problem for a lot of people who make their living abroad.

My dogs have always flown as “excess baggage”, which means they flew on our flights in the hold of the aircraft. That is the most economical way to transport pets. When Bill was still in the Army, our dogs flew on United Airlines and Delta Airlines respectively. Last time we flew with dogs, back in 2014, they flew on Lufthansa, which is a wonderful airline for pets. The luggage hold on Lufthansa is light and temperature controlled, and the animals are loaded at the last minute, so they don’t have to sit on the tarmac. But the United States government has a rule that makes using pet friendly airlines tricky for people who are flying on the government’s dime.

Because of the Fly America Act, people who are flying on taxpayer funds must use an American carrier for as far as possible. At this writing, only a handful of American carriers are still allowing pets to fly. Some people can get around that rule by booking their flights on a codeshared flight. Say you’re flying to Germany. To comply with the Fly America Act, you should be booking your flight on United or Delta. But you can book a Lufthansa flight through United and still be in compliance. Of course, thanks to COVID-19 and the new CDC rule, it’s gotten much harder to book flights. Some airlines won’t fly animals in the baggage hold anymore. Some will only fly small animals in the cabin, which can be problematic for those who have pets who are too big. Military servicemembers can sometimes use the rotator (Patriot Express) to fly their pets, but spots are limited and book up very quickly. I have read a lot of horror stories from stressed out servicemembers trying to figure out how to get their pets home.

Many people have used pet shippers to fly their pets. I suspect that if and when Bill and I have to move to the States with pets, we will have to use a shipper. Noyzi is a big dog, and he will probably need a special crate. He isn’t very heavy, but he’s tall and long bodied, and there are very specific rules on the sizes of the carriers that can be used. I have been saving money, because I’m sure he’s going to need to go cargo with a pet shipper, and that costs several thousand dollars, as opposed to the couple hundred per pet charged when flying them as excess baggage. Flying with a shipper is also a hassle, since it involves the dog going through a different part of the airport and possibly not coming on the same flight. We are currently fortunate enough to be able to afford a shipper, but not everyone is.

All of this is a real pain for anyone with pets and living abroad, but what is actually prompting me to write this morning are the negative, ignorant, and dismissive attitudes I’ve seen in some of the comment sections on the articles I’ve seen about this new CDC rule. I get that a lot of pet owners have done some “crazy” things, like bringing their emotional support kangaroos or peacocks on planes. I also understand that there’s been some very bad press about animals dying because they were transported in weather that was too hot or cold, or because someone put them in the overhead bin (which is just plain stupid). But there really must be a safe, affordable, and accessible way for people to travel with animals. Especially if we’re serious about not abandoning pets at shelters. This new rule is going to cause issues from negative troop morale to hostile host country relations. It will probably also result in a lot of wonderful pets dying or being abandoned.

So many comments on The New York Times article were from people who wrote things like, “It’s just an animal” or “Good! I hate flying with pets!” or “Americans who live overseas shouldn’t have pets.” This self-centered attitude is really distressing to me. I don’t have a problem with my dogs flying under the cabin, but it should be safe and affordable. And people should not be so narrow-minded and shitty about people who need to move their pets. A lot of these self-entitled twits are the same ones who condemn other people for needing to rehome their pets. It would be nice if people, in general, would have more empathy and understanding for those who aren’t like them. I get that some people have allergies or don’t like animals. I don’t like dealing with some people or their kids… some of them give me a rash or a pain in the ass. It is what it is. Flying is a hassle for everybody.

One lady kept writing about how when she was a “military kid living overseas”, her parents didn’t allow her to have pets. She implied that those of us in that situation should “suck it up” and live without pets. I finally had to offer her a cookie and a reminder that as a military “brat”, she should know that military families are diverse. To some military families, pets are beloved companions who make life easier and more worthwhile. And while it may not be practical to have pets when there’s a chance one could move overseas, life happens to everyone. Sometimes people in civilian jobs get the opportunity or find that they must move abroad. There should be a solution for those people, too.

In my case, I was not able to have children, and I’ve followed my husband to several different states and twice to Germany for his career. The career I planned for in public health and social work, back when I was single, has turned into blogging. I know a lot of people don’t think my blogs are worth anything, but they give me a reason to get up in the morning. My dogs help keep me sane and happy, especially when he travels. I don’t have a lot of human friends. We rescued Noyzi from Kosovo, where he lived outside with a bunch of other dogs. He wasn’t being abused in that environment, but he’s much happier having a family. Every day, we get to see him evolve and become more loving and trusting toward us. It’s very rewarding for us, and, I imagine, for him.

When we moved to Germany with Zane and Arran in 2014, the rules were already stricter than they had been in 2007 and 2009, when we flew with our previous dogs. Now, they have become downright oppressive. We made the choice to move here in 2014 because we wanted to live in Germany, but it was also the only place where Bill had a firm job offer after his Army retirement. It was either move to Germany, or be unemployed and soon land in dire financial straits. The move was a good one for us, but thanks to this new rule from the CDC, we’re going to have to do what we can to stay here for as long as possible. Abandoning our dogs isn’t an option, and it shouldn’t be something people are forced to do over well-intended, but impractical, rules imposed by the CDC.

Noyzi has really become relaxed and loving since he joined our family. He *has* to stay with us. We can’t abandon him after watching him come so far.

At this point, Germany is not on the list of high risk rabies countries, nor are other countries in the European Union. But because of the CDC’s new rule, a lot of European airlines are not wanting to transport animals. They don’t want to deal with the hassle. And who can blame them for that? After January 2022, it’s going to be a lot harder to bring animals into the United States, because only three “ports” will allow them to enter– Atlanta, JFK in New York City, and Los Angeles. That will cause backups for sure. I truly hope this rule will be amended or abolished at some point soon. Otherwise, Bill and I will have to stay here until Noyzi crosses the Rainbow Bridge. At twelve years old, we may not have to worry about Arran for too many more years… although he’s proving to be a real scrapper in his old age.

Rant over for now… tomorrow, we go on vacation, and the boys go to the Hundepension. Hopefully, it will go off without a hitch, and I can write some new content about actual travel.

Edited to add: Here’s a link to a book review I wrote about a lady in Virginia who, along with her mom, adopted dogs from Turkey. Military and government employees aren’t the only ones affected by this ruling. She rants about the new rule in her book, too.

rants

Blog X?

More than once, I’ve mentioned on this blog that I like to keep things light when I post about my travels and food adventures. I have a pretty good sense of humor about a lot of things and I have another blog where I tend to vent my spleen when I get upset about something. Most people who read this blog are looking for restaurant and travel tips or simply want to look at pictures. That’s what I try to provide here.

Today I feel the need to address an issue that’s come up repeatedly since I started sharing this blog with people in the military community. I know a lot of people don’t like that I call myself the “traveling overeducated housewife”. Some people seem downright offended by the name of this blog. And there have been many times in the few years since I created this blog that I’ve sincerely wished I had come up with a different name for it.

Yesterday, I shared my post about date night restaurants and it was mostly well-received in the community. I got a lot of likes, mostly from women, whom I hope will have a chance to try some of the places Bill and I have enjoyed since we moved back to Germany in 2014. I was feeling pretty good about the positive feedback until I got this comment from someone.

“Traveling Over-educated House Wife.” Ugh…I hope she at least has children.

You know, I have gotten my share of crappy comments from people about the name of my blog, but this one really struck me as a low blow. So now I’m going to set the record straight, for those who are interested.

First off, this travel blog is a spin-off of my main blog, The Overeducated Housewife. I started that first blog in March 2010 on a whim. We were living in Fayetteville, Georgia, having moved there in September 2009 from the Stuttgart area. My husband was working at Fort McPherson, which was due to close the following year. We knew we’d be moving again in early 2011. Since that would be the middle of Bill’s assignment at FORSCOM, we knew that our time at Fort Bragg in North Carolina would also be short. The chances of my being able to find the kind of work I went to school to do were slim to none.

It struck me that I’d gone to college for seven years and, thanks to all the moving we were doing, would probably not have the chance to use my education the way I thought I would. I have always liked to write and never thought I’d end up being a housewife with three college degrees. That’s why I decided to call my first blog The Overeducated Housewife. At the time, I saw it as sort of a facetious comment on my situation. I never dreamed people would pay attention to it or that, one day, I’d move back to the Stuttgart area and have many readers in the military community.

When I started writing my first blog, I didn’t share it with anyone. I kept it a secret because, at the time, I wanted to stay somewhat anonymous. I wasn’t even the first Overeducated Housewife blogger. I’ve seen several other blogs with that name, though those bloggers apparently lost interest, had children that took up all their time, or found jobs.

As for the reason I don’t have children, not that it’s anyone’s business, but I did want and plan to have them. Just as I had expected to have a career in public health and social work when I went to graduate school, I also fully expected that one day I’d have kids. Unfortunately, having children was not in the cards for me. I got married when I was thirty years old. I am Bill’s second wife. He had a stepson and two daughters with his ex wife. They had some serious financial problems and she claimed pregnancy was very hard on her. She talked Bill into getting a vasectomy when he was 29 years old. At the time, it seemed like the most responsible thing to do, so Bill agreed. A few years later, they divorced. She remarried and had two more children with her third husband. Meanwhile, Bill was left unable to father children without medical intervention, which after his divorce, he could not afford. Sadly, Bill’s daughters are estranged and haven’t seen or spoken to him since 2004.

During that same year, Bill managed to have his vasectomy reversed, courtesy of the Army. I remember how excited I was because it looked like we might get to have kids after all. Although the reversal happened eleven years after the vasectomy, it looked like it was successful. For a couple of years, we tried to start our family. However, during those years, we were pretty poor because Bill was paying child support and still recovering from the financial difficulties he’d had in his first marriage. I was trying and failing to find steady work, although I did make money as a freelance writer. At that time, we couldn’t afford to seek more help conceiving.

Then Bill got deployed, which further put our ability to try to conceive on hold… and we started the series of moves that has led us to where we are now. Since 2007, we have moved six times. It’s hard to build a career in the field I studied when you have to move all the time. And, to be honest, we are now in a financial situation where I don’t really have to work. We have plenty and, frankly, there are many people out there who need steady work more than I do. Moreover, since I haven’t worked in my field since 2002, I doubt anyone would want to give me a job anyway. Certainly not in Germany.

I don’t necessarily enjoy housework, but I like writing and I’m good at it. I also like making music and I do that, too. I don’t have the conventional career I thought I was going to have. But, you know what? Life is good. And no, I don’t have kids, but I do have dogs. I don’t have a steady paycheck, but I do have the time and ability to see places I never expected to see. I have my health and a good relationship with my husband. I don’t have to spend all day in a cubicle. Certainly, if I had known this was what my life was going to be like, I would not have gone to graduate school. Who wants to pay off student loans for degrees they can’t use? I don’t need graduate school for what I do every day. So I see myself as “overeducated” in that sense. But if I’m basically worthless because I’m “just a blogger”, why would anyone want me to breed anyway?

I don’t begrudge military, government, or contractor spouses who have home based businesses because I see them as being productive. Blogging is one thing I do to be productive. I share the blog to share information, but I try not to be a pest about it. Not everyone enjoys my writing, but at least it’s something to do. It beats going out and slashing people’s tires, right? Or hanging out in bars looking to hook up?

I have mostly gotten over the fact that I won’t ever be a mother. I can even laugh when someone makes a thoughtless comment wondering why I don’t have children– as if having children would make my life more worthwhile or justify my existence. I have somewhat come to terms with the fact that I won’t have the career I thought I was going to have. It’s taken me a long time to get to this point. I won’t lie, either. Dozens of likes on my blog post about date night restaurants kind of pale in comparison to one person’s thoughtless and rude remark about my lifestyle.

Anyway… that’s why I call myself The Overeducated Housewife. When I came up with the name, I never expected that would be such an issue for some people, but I guess it is. Had I known the name of my blogs would cause angst for others, I would have come up with a different name. On the other hand, I have a feeling that people would complain regardless, even if I had just named my blog “Blog X”.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to pass the wine and bon bons while I shop for Coach bags and watch reality TV…

anecdotes, rants

Why do people question my travel plans?

I usually save my rants for my main blog, but I’m going to put one here because I’m ranting about a travel issue today. Bill and I are headed to Vienna this afternoon. We will be flying on Germanwings. This will be our fourth Germanwings round trip flight, but the other three were before the tragic crash that happened last month. Although logically I know the chances of us crashing today are slim to none, I made a little crack on Facebook about how I hope the crew on our flight is feeling stable. If not, it’s been nice knowing everyone.

Again, it was just a joke. I am positive we’ll be fine and, later today, I’ll be enjoying a nice meal in a Viennese restaurant.

Most all of my friends wished us a good trip. Some said they looked forward to photos. A few reminded us to see the famous Lipizzaner stallions at the Spanish Riding School or learn to waltz. And then it happened. Two guys, both fairly opinionated, questioned our decision to fly to Vienna.

One guy, who has told me before that he is not as well traveled as I am, suggested that I take the train because it might be more convenient and fun. Given what happened to a Germanwings flight last month, I did consider the possibility of taking a train. However, we soon found out that it would be more expensive and take longer than flying.

Using the train involves going either to Munich or Nuremberg. Having recently gone to Regensburg by train via Nuremberg, we know that there is no high speed ICE train that goes to Nuremberg, so we’d be on a slower train for a couple of hours. There probably is an ICE train to Munich, but it would still take longer than flying. And again, it’s not that inexpensive, though I do find train travel to be less irritating than plane travel is.

Another guy, who has lived in Germany and tends to be a do it yourself-er, suggested that we drive, because “Vienna is only four or five hours away.” I wanted to ask my friend to take a look at a map. Vienna is on the extreme eastern side of Austria. If we encountered no traffic and didn’t need to stop anywhere, it would take about seven hours to drive there from Stuttgart. And we don’t actually live in Stuttgart.

Stuttgart is nicknamed STAUgart for good reason. Traffic around here is terrible. So add another hour for that and perhaps one for lunch, vignette buying, gas, and what not. Then you have to find a place to park. Besides, Bill hasn’t yet gotten his international driver’s permit. Chances are good that he’d never be stopped, but the one time you do get stopped and don’t have an international driver’s permit, you get a big fine. No thanks.

It just boggles the mind, though. I mean, do people not think I’ve considered other ways of getting to Vienna other than flying on Germanwings? I could have taken another airline, but that would have involved layovers and, in most cases, more money.

I’m going to throw caution to the wind and fly today. We have beautiful weather. And God willing, I will live to tell about it!

In fact… I already have an invitation to karaoke tonight… 😀

The Traveling Overeducated Housewife

…the wanderings and ramblings of a boring housewife…

Category Archives: rants