Tag Archives: German culture

Humor

Buying German food products for the “yuks”…

That’s right. “Yuks”. As in, laughing your ass off. I think we could all could use some more “yuks”, right?

Yesterday, while I was binge watching murder porn on Snapped, Bill came into our bedroom with a shelf stable container of oat milk. He likes to use animal free products sometimes because he’s a healthier person than I am on many levels. He said he bought the oat milk because of the label. Behold…

No bullshit! It’s “fucking good Oatmilk”.

Bill and I have both noticed that while Germany has rules against “Beleidigung“, that is, insulting people (especially people in authority like cops and politicians), they have no compunction about using English swear words in everyday language. For instance, one can be listening to an American pop song on the radio and if there are f bombs in it, you will hear them in all of their profane glory. Same thing with announcers on the radio, who regularly refer to “shitstorms”.

Personally, I’m alright with the profanity. I’m not a big believer in “bad words”, anyway. I really don’t think there is such a thing. Every word, in my opinion, is neutral. It’s the intent behind them that makes saying them good or bad. For instance, as a former English major at Longwood University, I took courses in African-American literature and Women’s literature. Both courses included slave narratives in which a certain taboo racist epithet was used repeatedly.

Was I offended? No, not really. That word was part of the lexicon at the time and the books would have lost their power without them. I was offended by the brutality of the way slaves were treated in those stories and the fact that their true stories are a shameful part of history. But the use of the n-word in those books is necessary. Same as it’s necessary in certain musical pieces, like Stevie Wonder’s “Living for the City”, and even in certain 70s and 80s era sitcoms, in which racism was a topic that was tackled. The word is used to convey the extent of the contempt and racism of those times. Taking it out would lessen the impact of the pieces.

Because of that– and because I love language and all its quirks– I don’t believe in “bad words”. I don’t think they should be used as weapons. I think people should be judicious in how they use their language. But I’m not a fan of “banning” any specific words… and, as we can see from the above label, even “bad” words can mean different things to different people. I know many Americans who would blush seven shades of red at simply reading that label. They sure as hell wouldn’t have bought the product! But my husband bought it because of the words “fucking” and “bullshit”. He knew that I would get a big kick out of them.

The words “fucking” and “bullshit” don’t have the same impact in Germany as they do in America, just like the words “cunt” and “fag” don’t mean the same to Brits as they do to us Yanks. Hell, until very recently, there was an old village in Austria called Fucking. I should know, because Bill and I visited. We also visited Fuckersberg, Austria, because we’re nerds like that. Fucking recently changed its name after hundreds of years of being known as “Fucking”. Why? Because Americans kept stealing their road signs and doing things like having sex under the the signs. What a shame. Typical Americans ruining things for everybody.

Sigh… I really miss traveling. I look forward to the day when I can write a post on my travel blog that is actually about travel. But, for now, I will continue to get a big kick out of “fucking good Oatmilk” that makes “sexy Milchkaffee”. Except I don’t think I could bring myself to try oat milk… so maybe not. Bill is calling me to breakfast, so off I pop. Have a great Valentine’s Day!

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languages

Stuff I’ve learned this weekend so far…

Last night, I became aware of an aspect of German culture of which I was previously unaware. I have a friend living in Stuttgart who is Croatian, but easily passes for German and speaks German like a native. Yesterday, he posted about an altercation he had with a young woman who had a child with her. They exchanged words because he chastised her (which is VERY German behavior, especially in Swabia) for spitting on the sidewalk.

She, in turn, called him a “shit potato”.

My Croatian friend said that this young woman was speaking perfect “Kanaken German”. I asked him what that meant, and he said it was when a foreign person residing in Germany speaks bad German/slang. I was a bit confused by that. Does that include people like Bill, who speaks German poorly and resides in Germany? So I asked my German friend to explain my Croatian friend’s original comment:

“Wenn du von einem ca 19 jährigen Mädchen als “scheiss Kartoffel” beschimpft wirst, weil du ihr sagst, dass sie nicht auf den Gehweg spucken soll. Sie sprach perfekt Kanakendeutsch. Ach so, sie hatte ein Kind.”

My German friend, who is a superstar researcher and enjoys teaching me about Germany and its culture, found this hilarious video. Don’t worry if you don’t speak German. There are subtitles. (the video is no longer available, so I removed it)

Kanaken German is slangy, improperly constructed vernacular German typically spoken by some people of Middle Eastern heritage. Evidently, people who speak Kanaken German tend to be insulting. Like, for instance, the woman calling my Croatian friend a “shit potato”, and the people in the above video using words like “Aaalder” (which means “dude”, although the English subtitles say it means fucker) and “Dutture” (bitch). Well, since he’s not German, he’s technically not a “potato”, but she clearly thought he was German and referred to him as a “potato” as an insult. My Croatian friend sarcastically added, “And I’m the racist!” Clearly he’s not in this case. It’s not nice to insult people using cultural stereotypes, but it sounds like that exchange wasn’t very pleasant regardless!

According to my research, the term “potato” (Kartoffel) for Germans dates back to the 1960s, when Italians were brought in as guest workers. They were known as “spaghetti eaters” and Germans were known as “potato eaters”. Evidently, certain Turkish people have also come to use the term “Kartoffel” for Germans as a whole. As the above video demonstrates, Germans are also called “pig eaters”, which seems even more derogatory since most Turks are Muslims and they don’t eat pork.

I guess, in a weird way, Kanaken German could be characterized somewhat like Ebonics in English, although I don’t think Ebonics is necessarily derogatory. It’s simply “black English”– language patterns that evolved when black people were enslaved in the United States. In the 1990s, Ebonics became somewhat controversial in the United States because certain groups felt it should be legitimized and respected. The term Ebonics dates from the early 70s. It was coined by African American social psychologist Robert Williams, who felt that the dialect spoken by some black Americans should have a name that was less negative than other terms for it, such as “nonstandard Negro English”.

Anyway… I thought it was interesting that I learned a little something more about German culture based on a Facebook post. I’m always grateful to my German friend for being willing to explain these things to me, especially when she finds entertaining teaching examples like the hilarious video above. It definitely drove home the point!

Now, if you order from Five Guys, you can arrange to have it ready at a specific time by ordering and paying online. The order is brought out by a food runner. This hit the spot yesterday, but I only want Five Guys’ burgers every once in awhile. Five Guys is currently exploding all over Germany.

Yesterday, Bill went into Wiesbaden to pick up some Five Guys burgers for us and check out how things are looking as Germany gradually normalizes after the spring lockdown from hell. He said that there were a lot of people out and about, and some people wear masks as they walk around. Most people only put them on when entering a building. People were dining in restaurants. Wait staff wears masks, but if you’re sitting at a table, it’s not required. You just wear them to come in, leave, or use the restroom. And everyone must leave their contact information in case someone is reported ill. After three or four weeks, the information is discarded.

I still have no desire to dine out under those conditions, especially as the temperatures rise, but I may change my mind. I’m grateful that people seem to be working together in Germany instead of being polarized, as it appears a lot of people are in the United States right now.

For today, Bill ordered a three course lunch from our favorite fine dining restaurant, Villa Im Tal. He’s going to pick it up this afternoon, and we will dine at home.

I’ll probably stick to regular Bailey’s and Bailey’s Luxe Chocolat. But these weren’t bad.


I also had occasion to try a couple of Bailey’s liqueur products yesterday. Most Americans know Bailey’s Irish Cream. However, there are a few other varieties of cordials available made by that company. They have the sinfully delicious Bailey’s Luxe Chocolat, which is pretty much like an orgasm in a bottle– Bailey’s mixed with Belgian chocolate. They have Strawberries & Cream. And they have Almande, which is a vegan, lactose free, almond milk drink. All of these cordials can be enjoyed by themselves or as mixers. I have had the Luxe Chocolat many times, so I didn’t need to taste test that.

I enjoyed both the Strawberries & Cream and the Almande, though I would prefer original Bailey’s or Luxe Chocolat to either of them. The Strawberries & Cream, which contains milk and milk products, reminded me of strawberry flavored Quik (Nesquik) from my youth, or perhaps the pink, liquid, antibiotic medicine (Erythromycin) I used to get for ear infections when I was a child. The Almande has a nice, rich, nutty taste, but the liqueur isn’t as rich or creamy. I did put some in my coffee this morning, though. It was not bad at all.

And finally, here are some pictures of our garden. We had a tree die in our yard last fall. It was overcome by ivy. As we’ve cut down most of it, a small patch of land has opened up for a small garden. Since we can’t travel like we usually do, Bill has decided to do some gardening. He picked up some garden boxes, since the plain patch was being ruined by Arran’s incessant need to dig. Now that he has a new box, he’s going to move some cucumber plants. We may have some fresh vegetables this summer. In light of today’s post, maybe we should have planted some potatoes…

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anecdotes

Life is standing still…

Obviously, since we’re locked down, Bill and I aren’t traveling or eating in restaurants right now. But I did want to share this funny video a German friend posted on Facebook. It’s done by a group called Bohemian Browser Ballett, and it’s basically about the importance of being considerate while grocery shopping, and not “Hamsterkaufing”…

If you watch it on Facebook without clicking, you can read the subtitles in English. Otherwise, it’s in German. But I think you’ll get the gist of it by watching even if you don’t speak German.

Hee hee hee!

Who says Germans don’t have a sense of humor? After watching this video, I certainly don’t.

Hopefully, I’ll have more things to write about soon. This virus is really cramping everyone’s style. I continue to update the old posts so they’re readable, so I encourage anyone who actually misses my content to give them a second (or first) look. We hope to be back on the travel/food trail soon.

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Uncategorized

Spotted on today’s walk around Breckenheim…

It’s amazing what you miss when you don’t pay attention. I recently started taking my dogs on a different walking route. It’s not ideal for dogwalking, since it requires passing through our narrow streeted village, but it does allow us to avoid the busy main drag for at least part of our walk.

Usually, when I’m walking through our village, I’m focused on keeping the dogs out of the street. Our old village has a lot of traffic, especially considering how small it is. Consequently, I don’t always pay attention to the small stuff I could be stumbling across on our daily strolls. Today, I happened to get hung up at a driveway due to a small traffic jam. An Asian couple were maneuvering their large station wagon out of a gated entrance to our narrow street. They happened to intercept an annoyed looking German guy in his van. This was further complicated by a yellow German Post truck coming in the other direction.

I halted the dogs so the three vehicles could get around each other in the tight space. Then I noticed five bronze plaques on the ground. Here’s the second of two pictures I took of them.

Who are these people?

I determined by their names that they were likely a Jewish family and had once lived in Breckenheim. I discerned that they left Breckenheim for the United States. Judging by the dates, I could see that they were driven out of our town due to Nazism.

I just looked up these plaques online and found them listed. According to the plaques pictured above, they all left for the United States, but according to the Wikipedia article I linked (in German– Chrome is your friend), Rosa Kahn actually died in a place called Jacoby’s Nursing and Care Institute in a town that was once called Sayn, but is now known as Bendorf. Judging by my cursory search, Bendorf is located not far from here– it appears to be near Koblenz. Jacoby’s Nursing and Care Institute was a Jewish owned nursing home that was expressly for Jewish people who suffered from “nervousness” and “mental illness”.

Established in 1869, Jacoby’s Nursing and Care Institute ran until 1942, which is also supposedly when Rosa Kahn died. In 1938, all but three non-Jewish workers had to be fired. From 1940, the hospital was part of the Nazi persecution of Jewish people, but it was originally intended for Jewish people who suffered due to people who were ignorant about their beliefs.

Meier Jacoby, a local merchant who started the institute, justified building it, writing “I had often heard that nervous people who grew up in strict Jewish homes reluctantly enjoyed kosher food, that they probably refuse to eat such food or that they believe they have sinned by eating the food that they are teased by less educated patients and guards, especially because of their beliefs, etc. – circumstances that must certainly adversely affect the nervous and mental patients.” Jacoby took in some patients and hired a doctor to oversee their care. Until Nazism took over Germany, it was a good place for Jewish people who needed psychiatric care.

The Jacoby family were themselves able to emigrate to Uruguay via the Soviet Union and Japan. The main building of the hospital was demolished in the 1960s, but a couple of buildings still remain standing in Bendorf, including the ballroom and the synagogue. Sadly, it appears that toward the end of its existence, the nursing home was used to concentrate Jews for deportation to extermination camps. Between March and November 1942, 573 people were sent to camps in the East, while between 1940-1942, 142 people were too sick to travel and died at the hospital. Those who died at the hospital were buried on the grounds, but had no marker for their graves until the late 1980s.

Once the patients were deported, the hospital was used as a hospital for military troops, then as a replacement for the Koblenz hospital that was damaged in the war. In March 1945, the hospital was briefly taken over by American troops, and then in July 1945, French troops took possession. From 1951 until 1997, the site was a boarding school. Since 1999, it’s been a Catholic run nursing home for people with disabilities.

On November 17, 2002, incidentally the day after my wedding, a memorial was erected to honor the 573 people who were deported to Auschwitz and murdered there. Additionally, a plaque with all of the names of the people who died is hanging in the Wintergarten in the facility.

Isn’t it amazing when one story leads to another? I found out all about this simply by stopping and noticing five little plaques on a driveway that I pass all the time while I’m walking my dogs. Maybe some weekend soon, Bill and I can take a day trip to Bendorf and have a look around.

I highly recommend reading this detailed account of the Jacoby Nursing and Care Institute on Bendorf’s official page. The site is available in English, or you can use Google Chrome (2025– the page is no longer working).

Edited to add: my German friend found more information about the Khan family and it turns out Rosa Kahn did manage to escape. She and her husband celebrated their 50th anniversary in New York on February 22, 1943. Breckenheim was a Jewish community for many years before Hitler came to power. Perhaps another woman from the neighborhood died at the nursing home. Wikipedia is not always the end all, be all of information, but at least I learned something new.

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Uncategorized

Things aren’t bad in Baden-Baden… Part five

Sunday was the day we’d been waiting for.  It was the day we planned to brave the Friedrichsbad, well known around the world for being an old fashioned Roman-Irish bath.  I remember when I first heard of the Friedrichsbad bath.  It was back in 2015, when I wrote about how, in France, men have to wear Speedos at public swimming pools.  In that post, I mentioned that my husband, Bill, would not want to wear Speedos for anything, but I was working on getting him to consent to a visit at the Friedrichsbad in Baden-Baden.  At that time, I was also a bit leery of being naked in front of strangers.

Well… as of June of 2017, Bill and I both took the naked plunge for the first time when we visited Palais Thermal in Bad Wildbad, which is a mostly nude spa.  Since that bold day in early June, we’ve done the naked thing a few more times at the Schwabenquellen in Stuttgart, and at Böblingen’s own Mineraltherme.  The Schwabenquellen is all nude except on certain days and/or at certain times.  The Mineraltherme is nude in the saunagarten on the bottom floor, which has a pool area.  Frankly, having now seen the Mineraltherme’s whole complex, I think not going to the saunagarten is a waste.  There’s a whole lot more to do in the nude area.

The Friedrichsbad is different, though.  It’s not really like the other nude spas we’ve been to.  For one thing, it’s a very old bathhouse and looks it.  It was opened in 1877 and does not have any of the new fangled finery of the other spas.  Hell, it doesn’t even have 1980s era finery.  This is an old school spa.  However, of all of the spas we’ve done, I like it the most.

We decided to do the Friedrichsbad before we tried neighboring Caracalla because I knew Caracalla was going to be like the other places we’ve been.  Also, I had a feeling that the Friedrichsbad was an experience best had first thing in the morning… and also, we happened to be out for breakfast without our towels or bathing suits and we didn’t feel like going back to the room to fetch them.  There is no need to bring a bathing suit or a towel to the Friedrichsbad.  They provide everything, even shower gel.

We had walked into the downtown area in search of an economical breakfast and found one at the assembly line like bakery called Peters am Leo.  This place was doing quite a brisk business when we arrived at about 9:00am.

Very cheerful and busy!

 

We noticed they had a breakfast deal for two people priced at 19,95 euros, so we went for that.  It was a lot of food… more than we needed.

We got fresh fruit, some kind of “vanilla mousse” with raspberry, butter, and jam…

Scrambled eggs with bacon mixed in, cold cuts, cheese, and a big basket of bread, hot drinks (I had hot chocolate and Bill had coffee), and a choice of either Sekt or orange juice.  We had orange juice. We couldn’t finish everything.

 

Coffee!

I was treated to a nice view of the action.

 

I started to enjoy breakfast until I suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of someone gearing up to spit.  I glanced over at the table catty cornered to ours just in time to see the guy who was sitting there spit into his plate.  It really grossed me out, which seems strange, since I have neither a filter nor an appreciation for the concept of TMI.  Fortunately, the guy got up and left, but not without leaving part of his breakfast on the table.

I was eager to forget about the “loogie hocking” guy, so we made our way to the old bathhouse.  When we entered at about 10:00am, things were pretty quiet.  A pleasant and very laid back looking black lady was sitting at the admissions booth.  She would later help us when we decided to visit the Caracalla spa next door.  I think she recognized us, too.

The famous baths on a sunny Sunday morning.  I think that may be a great time to go to the baths.  It wasn’t very busy when we arrived, but business was picking up as we left.

Anyway, when we met her the first time, she greeted us kindly in English and was patient as we ordered the luxury plus package.  Priced at 59 euros per person, this is the most “luxurious” of the packages.  It includes soap and brush massage, a cream massage, a meal, and a drink at the spa restaurant in the Caracalla.  If I’d had more time to read up, I would have gone for the luxury ticket, which eschewed the meal.  It turns out the meal and drink offered at the spa restaurant are limited to salads and pasta.  Also, I would have rather eaten somewhere else.  Leave it to me to go for the most expensive deal.

The luxury and luxury plus tickets allow up to four hours in the baths.  We didn’t need that long to go through the whole experience, but it’s nice to know we could have stayed longer if we’d wanted to.  Those who don’t want the whole experience can opt for a basic ticket, which doesn’t include soap or cream massages or the wellness ticket, which leaves out the cream massage.  Each progressive step in inclusiveness adds another ten euros to the cost.  We paid 118 euros.  Credit cards are accepted.

Once we paid our admission, the lady gave us waterproof wristwatches… the same kind we’ve gotten at every German spa we’ve ever attended.  Sunday happened to be a “mixed” day, which meant men and women were coming from both sides of the spa.  Some days, the sexes are split.  Women go to the right and men go to the left.  I wanted to experience the baths with Bill at my side, so we chose the mixed day.

Here goes…

After we found lockers, we grabbed the sheets that were left inside, got completely naked in changing rooms (which now seems ridiculous under the circumstances), and were beckoned into the baths by a bunch of very brawny looking men in white uniforms.  I soon realized that the other side of the spa was staffed with similarly attired women.

The men, a couple of whom spoke English, directed us to get shower shoes and then take showers under the old style open bay showers.  They had big levers that controlled the water temperature in a rather crude way.  It kind of reminded me of a prison shower, not that I have any experience with prisons, mind you.  It’s just that it was very crude and not private at all.  And though we had entered the baths covered with a sheet, that lasted maybe a minute before they were taken away.

The shower shoes, at least on the men’s side, were huge and way too big for my feet.  But I only wore them for a short while, as we sat in a warm room for ten minutes, then a hotter room for five.  The shoes were necessary because the floor is very hot and will burn your feet if you walk in there unshod.

After we sat in the hot rooms, we took another shower, then were summoned for the soap and scrubbing, and a massage.  Bill’s therapist was a big German guy who spoke English.  I got a burly Russian man whose German seemed rather elementary– or, I’m going to assume he was Russian.  He could have been Bulgarian, Polish, or Ukrainian, for all I know.  I don’t think he was German, though.

He invited me to lie face up on the table as he scrubbed my body with soap and a scrub brush, rinsed, then had me roll over so he could do the other side.  Then, he gave me a vigorous massage that made a couple of joints crack audibly.  It was a rather surreal experience… almost clinical, yet kind of primal, too.

There I was, naked as the day I was born, lying totally exposed on a table with bright lighting shining down on my bare body, as if I were in a hospital.  And yet, despite decades of feeling ashamed of my body, I didn’t really care that much.  I mean, the staff sees all kinds of people day in and day out.  They were totally professional, and it’s not even like I was the biggest and ugliest person there.  Besides, after a few minutes, the nudity thing doesn’t really matter at all.  Everybody’s naked, and I think most people just stop noticing.

After our enthusiastic massages were finished, we went into the first of two steam rooms.  The first room was kind of warm and smelled heavily of sulfur.  We were in there for ten minutes, sitting on “butt pads”.  Then we went to a warmer steam room for five minutes.  I looked to my right and noticed the very old equipment that was making the steam from Baden-Baden’s ancient thermal springs.  After another shower, we went to station 9, which was the first pool.  It was nice and warm and very tranquil as we soaked for ten minutes.  That was really what I had been waiting for the whole time.  It was heavenly and extremely relaxing.

Next came a short time in a shallow pool that bubbled.  We sat there until it was time to hit station 11, which is the beautiful round pool that is featured in all of Friedrichsbad’s literature.  What I didn’t know was that the water in that beautiful pool is very cold!  We did our five minutes there, then went to the other side of the pool.  This was where things went a little awry.

Unbeknownst to us at the time, we were supposed to stay on the side we came in on.  When we went to the pool on the other side of the round pool, we ended up on the wrong side of the baths.  This is only a big deal because we needed to be on the side where we entered in order to access our lockers.  When we got to the end of the line, which included more showers and a dip in an ice cold pool, a female staffer turned us around.  I now realize that if we’d done the last part on the female side, we would have had to somehow get to the other side while naked.  Either way, we had to backtrack or else flash everyone in the public part of the building.

So, we turned around and walked back through the stations until we got to the men’s side.  We were greeted by the same big dudes with big hands, who wrapped us in warm towels and invited us to wait for the cream massage.  The same Russian guy who did my soap scrubbing took me to a private room, while Bill got a different German guy.  The Russian guy expertly rubbed herbal smelling cream all over my naked body.  Once again, I was strangely uninhibited.  He was very much an expert.  I left his care with skin like a newborn baby’s as he directed us to drink tea in the “reading room”.

Actually, we were supposed to go “sleep” for thirty minutes in the sleeping room, but to be honest, I was alright with skipping that part.  I doubt I would have slept, anyway.  Besides, it was just nice to relax on the lounger in the “reading room” with unsweetened hot tea and Bill at my side.  It was a very restful experience for me, although I will admit that it’s not for everyone.  I know many people would prefer not to bare their bodies to the world.  But, I have to say… now that I’ve gotten into nudity, it doesn’t really faze me at all anymore.  In fact, I find it quite liberating.  Maybe I’m more German than 23andMe says I am.

When we were finished relaxing at the Friedrichsbad, we went back to the locker room, got dressed, and went back to the hotel.  After a short break there, we packed up day bags with swimsuits, towels, and robes.  I wasn’t going to leave Baden-Baden without trying both of its best known spas.  Also, because we got the Luxury Plus ticket, we were owed a meal at the Caracalla spa.

The guy at the spa restaurant who waited on us was quite the smooth talker.  I noticed he was easily mingling in French, German, English, and even a little bit of Russian.  I was a little cranky because most of their beer was non-alcoholic.  In the restaurant, they do have wine and one “real” beer.  I ended up with a non-alcoholic hefeweizen, which wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great.  I also got a Coke because it came with our coupons.

I somehow ended up with a side of duck, which wasn’t covered by the coupon.  At least it tasted good.

Bill had a chef’s salad.

I had a “fruity” salad, which was made with shrimps, mangoes, cherry tomatoes, onions, and greens.  The bread was excellent.  It was soft and not too crusty.

 

After lunch, we tried the Caracalla Spa… and, I gotta say, I was much less impressed with it than any of the other spas I’ve been to.  First off, it was very crowded yesterday.  It’s also been around awhile, as evidenced by how everything looked.  The tiles were all faded and somewhat discolored.  The water looked a little bit cloudy.  I guess I’m used to the Mineraltherme, which was just extensively refurbished last year.

They were repairing the “blue grotto”, which probably would have been packed with people, anyway.  The only thing I really liked about the Caracalla Spa was this really cool current alley in one of the outdoor pools.  It was almost like shooting the rapids as it propelled spa-goers down a pass.  But we had to be careful not to be shot into someone standing on the side of the pool.  I think some people were oblivious to the danger of careening bodies in the strong currents.

As crowded as the Mineraltherme gets sometimes, at least their snack bars have wine and beer and really good food.  The one thing the Caracalla had that the Mineraltherme didn’t was fresh squeezed juices, which were admittedly delicious.  Bill and I tried their orange juice, which was nice after a couple of sauna sessions.  Other than that, I was not all that impressed with Caracalla.  I would much rather visit the Friedrichsbad again.  The Caracalla also has a saunagarten that costs extra, but it doesn’t have a nude pool.  Instead, there are a bunch of saunas and one whirlpool that was packed the whole time.  It wasn’t very relaxing at all.  We paid for three hours and left about halfway through.

When we were finished at the Caracalla Spa, we walked back to the hotel and I took a shower.  We enjoyed a rest after our big day of relaxing baths.  Actually, I was surprised by how tired I was after hitting two spas in one day.  As the sun went down, I told Bill that I wanted to have dinner somewhere, so we wouldn’t end up sitting around drinking wine.  We decided to try Rizzi & Co., which is a wine bar very close to the hotel.  I was glad to try it, because I had been eyeing the menu the whole time we were in town.  We were also lucky because they happened to have one two top open for us.  The next couple who showed up without a reservation was out of luck.

The menu looked good.

Obligatory menu shot of Bill…  We weren’t very hungry, so we went with something fairly light.

I had salmon filet with broccoli and a maple glaze.  I enjoyed the salmon, but especially liked the broccoli, which was really more like broccolini.  It was surprisingly tasty.  

Bill had rare tuna, served with chopsticks, soy sauce, and wasabi.  It was just the right size.  Naturally, we also enjoyed a very nice red wine.

The bar area was pretty cool, although they were playing dance music that made us feel ancient.  I think a lot of Russians frequent Rizzi & Co.  It looks like it caters to the young and hip.

For dessert, I had Le Colonel, which is lemon sorbet with a shot of vodka poured over it.

 

And Bill had vanilla mousse, which was covered with mangoes… I thought it looked like cream of corn soup!

It’s a very hip place.

Since we were told we had 90 minutes, we were quick about eating dinner.  I was ready to go to bed, anyway.  I think we were both out cold before 9:30pm.  In fact, I remember waking from a sound sleep at just past eleven for a potty break.  It’s exhausting trying to relax.  When we got back to the hotel, one of the receptionists said, “Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Crossen.”  That really blew Bill’s mind.  It’s something when the staff at a big hotel remembers your name.  It happened a few times during our visit.  I think it’s the hallmark of superb service.

This morning, we decided to have breakfast at the hotel.  We went back to the breakfast room and loaded up at the buffet and enjoyed the excellent coffee.  I was thinking maybe we wouldn’t have eggs again, but a very charming German gent, whose name was Friedrich and had probably worked there for awhile, charmed us into having scrambled eggs.  He indulged Bill’s German and also greeted him by name, without any prompting.  Maybe we were easy to remember since I don’t think there were too many Americans there during our visit.  We also had a shot of espresso for the road.

When it came time to check out, we were warmly welcomed by the same chap who had checked us in.  He was delighted when we gushed about our weekend and invited me to sign up for their email service/newsletter, which is free of charge and entitles us to perks like free breakfast (which is well worth it).  Since we’re moving to Wiesbaden and Wiesbaden isn’t all that far from Baden-Baden, I could see us coming back to Brenners Park, even if it is super expensive.  We really enjoyed ourselves and the service is absolutely top notch.  Of course, I’m not sure how we’re going to downgrade from a junior suite.  They’re probably counting on that!

I wondered what this was.  Bill showed me that it’s a coat rack.

Perfect scrambled eggs.  Better than the eggs at the bakery yesterday… and no one hocked a loogie.

This is Brenner Park’s resident cat, Kleopatra.  I never saw her, but we did see evidence of her presence.  Evidently, she eats on the second floor of the hotel, which is where we were staying.  Her food bowl and water were neatly laid out in the hall.

 

I think all told, we spent about 3.000 euros.  That included a couple of nights in the bar, a couple of breakfasts for two, two spa treatments, and parking for four days.  And yet, even though that’s a lot of money for us, we were both smiling as we got into the car to go home.  The hotel staff had kindly provided us with a small bag that included waters and snacks for our drive.  It was the kind of service Bill and I have experienced on luxury cruise lines, notably Hebridean Island Cruises, which costs a mint but offers stellar service.  If you’re interested in my Hebridean experiences, you can easily read about them in this blog.  We have sailed with them four times– in 2012 (back to back cruises, and written about on my main blog), 2016 (whisky cruise), and 2017 (Scotland and Northern Ireland).

A shot of the countryside on the way home.  This isn’t far from Seewald, which is not far from where we are living until next Tuesday.  Then, it’s off to Wiesbaden.

Anyway… so ends our very ritzy trip to nearby Baden-Baden.  We had a great time!  If we manage to make it back there, we will have to make a point of seeing and doing more in the area, which surely offers more than spas and shopping!  But then, Wiesbaden is a lot like a more cosmopolitan Baden-Baden.  So we’ll see…

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German lifestyle

An insider’s guide to German grocery stores…

I’ve had the idea to write this post for… I don’t know… three years, maybe?  I actually remember when I got this idea.  I was in the city of Calw and Bill and I were at a Kaufland.  I started thinking of all the grocery stores on the economy where a non-German might find themselves shopping.  I thought to myself, “It might be useful to have a guide to some of these stores…”  But at that time, I didn’t have quite enough experience to write the post and it got pushed to the back burner as I toured beer spas and wrote restaurant reviews.

In about 24 days, Bill and I will be moving to Wiesbaden.  It will technically be our third German tour together, and his fourth in total (he was in Bavaria in the 80s, when he was a young lieutenant).  I’ve seen a lot of German grocery stores now.  Since today I was too lazy to do anything (because November is going to be a very hectic month), I’ve decided that today’s post will be about grocery stores, at least here in the Stuttgart area.

Here’s my usual disclaimer.  This post is more or less meant for newcomers.  It will consist of basic information, and does not represent all of the stores where you could be shopping.  I am posting this with the hope that readers will use German supermarkets over the commissary.  You will find that the food quality is mostly better and the cost of food is generally less expensive.  We do use the commissary for convenience and when we want items that are strictly American.  When we lived in Germany the first time, I will admit that we used the commissary more than we did our awesome local supermarket.  This time, we shop a lot more on the economy and are better off for it.

First thing’s first.  Grocery shopping in Germany is somewhat different than it is in the United States. When you shop at a German market, you either need to bring your own bags or buy bags at the store. Bill and I use RedOxx market tote bags.  I like the RedOxx bags because they are very sturdy, made in the USA (Montana, to be exact), have a lifetime guarantee, and the business is owned by a veteran.  They also sell their bags in a dozen pretty colors and will ship to APO.  We also have a bunch of their other bags, too.  Bill likes them because their design is very military and they are extremely well made.

Of course, you don’t need to use fancy bags.  The cheap, reusable bags you can get at the commissary will also do the trick quite nicely.  You will also have to do your own bagging, so after your stuff is rung up, prepare to pack your stuff.  If you do need to buy a bag, the German word is “Tüte” (tooti).

Grocery stores in Germany don’t sell medications.  If you want to buy over-the-counter drugs, you will need to visit an Apotheke (drug store).  You will often, but not always, find Apothekes near grocery stores.

In German grocery stores, you can find things like shampoo, soap, toilet paper, and detergents.  In some stores you can also find housewares, electronics, clothing, toys, and in many places, you can buy booze.  Germany also has “drink markets”, which sell all kinds of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, as well as a limited array of shelf stable groceries and other goods.

When you buy produce, in some stores you may have to weigh it and get a price tag sticker, which you’ll put on your produce so it can be scanned.  The commissary has a similar system, so you’ll get used to it quickly.

Grocery stores in Germany are mostly closed on Sundays, with a few exceptions.  In the Stuttgart area, the Edeka supermarket at the airport is open on Sunday.  Although dogs are welcome in a lot of places, including restaurants, you can’t bring your dog to the grocery store.  And, at many stores, you will need to use a euro coin to get a cart from the cart corral.  They are chained together.  When you return your cart to its proper place, you get your euro back.  If you have ever shopped at Aldi in the United States, you know of what I write.

Many grocery stores have areas where you can drop off your empty bottles.  If your store has a drink market, you can bring back the plastic bottles and crates of glass bottles (say, a case of beer), feed them into the handy machine, and it will spit out a receipt, which you can present to the cashier and get money off your order.  Speaking of cashiers… do not be surprised, especially here in Swabia, if the person ahead of you counts out exact change, even if it holds you up.  More than once, Bill and I have been behind someone who pays for groceries with a lot of coins.  Remember that in Germany, some coins are worth more than two dollars!  Be patient.  Others will be patient for you.  Also, some stores have shopper’s cards you can collect stamps on and redeem.  Frankly, I never bother with them, but some people do.  Don’t be surprised if the cashier asks you if you want one.

Also, a lot of stores will have restaurants or snack bars within them.  In fact, even some hardware stores have food available.  Our local Toom (hardware big box store) has a snackbar, of all things.  Shopping in Germany is very civilized.  Many stores also have restrooms and most don’t have a Klofrau looking for change, although that’s not always the case.

You might even find a CoinStar at your local store.  Our Real now has a CoinStar, which I think appeared somewhat recently.  After you’ve been here awhile and have collected a huge trove of coins, you’ll see how awesome that is!  My husband’s first boss dumped his collection of coins on Bill and his co-workers before he left, with the direction that they should all go out to dinner.  Someone took the time to count the coins and it added up to over 800 euros.  Bill and his former co-workers had dinner, including family members, and only spent 500 euros!  There’s still 300 euros left to use!  You will collect a lot of coins while you’re here!

Okay… now here’s a very brief guide.

General grocery stores– hypermarkets

Edeka–  I’ll start with Edeka, which is a very well-known German grocery store chain.  Many towns have an Edeka, and they are pretty much my favorite of all the usual German grocery chains.  It’s kind of a posh market, very clean, with really nice lighting and high quality products.  As of 2017, Edeka is Germany’s largest grocery store chain and holds a market share of 20.3%.  Chances are, your town has an Edeka.  If it doesn’t, chances are the next town has one.  We live in Unterjettingen and there is no Edeka in our town, but there are in Herrenberg and Nagold, both of which are less than a few miles away.  Frankly, of all of the grocery stores in Germany, Edeka is my pick.  It has everything I love about a grocery store.

Real in Jettingen.

Real– Jettingen does have a Real, which is a “hypermarket”.  Real is basically Germany’s version of Walmart.  Indeed, Real stores were originally Walmarts before Walmart was driven out of Germany.  I don’t know for certain, but I think Walmart didn’t survive here because Walmart is famously anti-union and Germans weren’t down with that.  Anyway, Real operates a number of stores in Germany and they’re a lot like Walmart, minus over the counter drugs.  You can find almost anything there, but I hate going in there because it’s usually very crowded and hectic and I experience sensory overload with every visit.  Still, lots of people love their Real, and I will admit we shop there often.  Parking at our Jettingen store is free, which is more than I can say for the Edeka in either Nagold or Herrenberg (but some Edekas do have free parking).  (Edited to add in 2024: Real is now defunct.  The one in Jettingen is now a Kaufland.)

Kaufland– Germany’s fourth largest grocery store chain is Kaufland, which was founded in Germany back in 1984.  Kaufland now operates almost 1,300 stores in seven countries across Europe.  It reminds me a lot of Real, only with a slightly more upscale look and nicer lighting.  You will find groceries there, but you can also find housewares, electronics, and clothing.  Many locations also have drink markets.

REWE– REWE is a Cologne based grocery store chain with locations around Germany.  To be honest, I haven’t spent a lot of time shopping at REWE, but our new home has one very nearby.  There are also several locations in the Stuttgart area.  The last REWE I visited was in Wiesbaden and it reminded me a bit of Edeka, only with harsher lighting.

The actual experience of shopping at any of these grocery stores is very similar.  You typically enter through a “gate” and you have to pass through a cashier stand to exit, even if you don’t buy anything.

Discount grocery stores–

Aldi– A lot of Americans know about Aldi, because Aldi is slowly infiltrating U.S. culture.  If you’ve shopped at an American Aldi, you are probably already familiar with having to use a quarter to get a cart.  You also know that this store is no frills and has low prices.  Our town has an Aldi, but I don’t go in there very often.  It has basic stuff– frozen foods, bakery items, some beverages, ice cream, and some non food items.  It’s the kind of place you go when you need to pick up a few items.  Actually, according to Wikipedia, Aldi is Germany’s largest wine retailer.  Who knew?

Lidl– Lidl is another discount store that is slowly gaining a footprint in the American market.  Like Aldi, Lidl is very no frills, but it does have an interesting line of “American” products, which I blogged about last year.  I wouldn’t necessarily recommend the Lidl versions of American products unless you need a laugh.  However, given a choice between Aldi and Lidl, I think I’d choose Lidl, mainly because the stores seem newer and cleaner to me.

A city version of Netto.

Netto– Another discount market.  Every Netto I’ve been in has been small and no frills, with an emphasis on frozen foods, a small array of beverages, and bakery products.

Penny Markt– Again, no frills supermarket.  Emphasis on frozen food, candy, ice cream, and low prices.

Specialty markets–

Denn’s Biomarkt…

Denn’s Biomarkt– This is a national chain that specializes in “bio” (organic) products.  The Denn’s chain is represented in several local communities, including Sindelfingen, Nagold, Ludwigsburg, Stuttgart, and Vaihingen.   You can find bio fruits, vegetables, wines, and cheeses, as well as other natural products.

The Nagold Mix Markt.

Mix-Markt– This is a European market that offers products from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union.  It was founded in Germany, but there are now stores all over Europe.  It’s a great place to shop for exotic wines from countries like Georgia and Moldova, both excellent wine producing countries.  Also, if you like Russian products, you can find them there.

“Feinkost” is another term with which you should familiarize yourself.  A Feinkost is translated as “delicatessen”, but in my experience, Feinkosts also offer upmarket products.  One well-known Feinkost in Stuttgart is Feinkost Böhm, which is a super fancy and expensive market downtown.  It’s fun to shop there for special occasions and to see how much they’re selling Pepperidge Farm cookies for.  Stuttgart also has the Markthalle, which has a lot of ethnic markets, meats, cheeses, produce, and desserts.  Your town might also have a Feinkost, but it may or may not be as fancy as the one in Stuttgart.

Your local town may have its own specialty markets.  You may find Turkish, Asian, Italian, Spanish, or even Portuguese specialty markets, depending on where you live.  Keep your eyes peeled, because you can find some great stuff in the little ethnic markets.

Also, many towns have produce markets that happen several mornings a week and/or on Saturday mornings.  You can also buy specialty meats at Metzgereis (butchers) and baked goods at Backereis (bakeries).  Some local areas also have farms where you can buy fresh produce, eggs, and fresh milk.  See my post “Farm Fresh” for more information about buying fresh food at farms– it’s frequently done on the honor system.  You will also find vending machines that sell things like eggs, milk, noodles, and lentils, among other things.  My “Farm Fresh” post has a video showing how to get fresh milk (which should be pasteurized at home) and pictures of the vending machines you might find in your neighborhood.

Generally speaking, I find grocery shopping in Germany to be a pleasure.  There’s always something to see and German stores offer a lot of good products, some of which will be familiar to you and others you may come to love and will miss when you’re back in the USA.  Some stores are more pleasant for me than others.  Some people love the local Real, but give me an Edeka any day.  I suspect I’ll soon be very familiar with REWE, since I know my new neighborhood has one.  Once you’ve been here awhile, you’ll be able to find a store to your liking.  If you like very fresh food, I highly recommend shopping on the economy as opposed to at the commissary.  Hope this post is helpful for a few folks!

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Baden-Württemberg, Böblingen

Lunch, lounging, and “littles” at the Mineraltherme…

I gave serious thought to going to the Sindelfingen Street Fest this afternoon.  Then I looked up at the cloudy sky and decided I’d rather spend the afternoon naked with a bunch of Germans.  I told Bill we should go to a spa, since it’s been ages since our last visit.  Poor Bill is such a good sport.  Although he knows I love a good spa day, the thought of going to one strikes dread in his heart, especially when we go to ones that have textile free areas or are entirely textile free.  But he loves to make me happy and he can’t deny that after a few hours at the spa, he always comes home relaxed.

Bill takes a deep breath before enduring the horror of bathing suits.

At first, I was kind of wanting to visit the Schwabenquellen, mainly because when we went the last time, it was a lot less crowded than the Mineraltherme in Böblingen usually gets.  However, the Schwabenquellen’s restaurant is not as good as the Mineraltherme’s is, and it’s not as close to where we live.  It’s also entirely textile free, which I know Bill is leery about.  Sure enough, when I made the suggestion, he said he preferred Böblingen, so that’s where we went.

We arrived at the Mineraltherme at a little after one o’clock and enjoyed a very nice lunch.  Of the spas I’ve been to in this area, I would say the Mineraltherme has the best restaurant.  It offers somewhat healthy, upscale dishes instead of the usual pizzas, burgers, and brats offered elsewhere.  Today’s lunch was no exception.  We each enjoyed wine– I had a Riesling and he had a Gray Burgundy, along with our usual sparkling water.

They brought out a very nice lentil salad amuse.  It was well seasoned with cumin and filled out with eggplant.  I don’t usually love eggplant, but I did enjoy this.

Our waitress was pleasant and spoke English.  Bill ordered one of the specials, spaghetti with tuna mixed in a tomato sauce, pictured below.

It was a pretty big dish!  He said it was tasty.

A moment of seriousness before it was time for me to try my dish…

I had a “Kartoffel trifft Fische”, a baked potato covered in sour cream and served with smoked salmon and a simple green salad.  I enjoyed this dish, although I wish I had asked them to go very easy on the sour cream.  I don’t like sour cream that much and even if I did, I wouldn’t use as much as is pictured here.  But the salad and smoked salmon were really enough to satisfy me anyway.

 

Lunch came to just over 40 euros.  Because we hadn’t yet entered the spa, we paid for it in cash.  I always enjoy eating at the Mineraltherme.  I wish other spas had restaurants as nice as theirs.

Then we got in line to pay basic admission and get our wristwatches, which allow you to purchase things without using cash in the spa and keep track of your time.  At this writing, it’s 12 euros per adult to visit the upstairs and part of the downstairs portions of the Mineraltherme.  If you want to go into the Saunagarten, which is textile free, you have to pay another 6 euros.  This is done by scanning your wristwatch at a turnstile.  On your way out of the spa, you pay a machine for any refreshments or other extras you get while you’re in the spa.

After we paid our admission, we went into the unisex locker room, which is full of small dressing rooms so you can “suit up” in private.  The Mineraltherme underwent a large renovation last year and they made some improvements to the locker room and some of the other facilities.  We spent the first hour or so enjoying the pools upstairs, which require the use of a bathing suit.  It was somewhat busy when we first got there, but not too bad.  But then, as time went on, the spa began to fill up.  I started noticing some rather inconsiderate behavior, which I’ll be bitching about in the following paragraphs.

One thing I don’t really like about the Mineraltherme experience on weekends is that it gets very crowded.  People bring their kids and act as if the spa is a Freibad.  I don’t really have so much of a problem with the kids up in the clothed area.  I accept that parents like the spa and they’re going to bring their children.  Most of the children at the Mineraltherme have been well-behaved, although I did see a couple of them hogging the pool noodles and not being very careful about where they were swinging them.  I didn’t need a pool noodle myself; I pretty much float on my own.  However, I did almost get beaned by one when one of the inattentive kids was horsing around.  I don’t find having to duck pool noodles a very relaxing experience, but I’m willing to accept that kids are welcome there.  So be it.

I have more of a problem with people who bring their young children into the textile free area.  Technically, youngsters under 18 are allowed down there if they are with an adult.  Personally, I think it’s a bad idea to bring children into that area.  It’s not because I’m uptight about nudity.  On the contrary, I’m all for it among consenting adults.  Consider this, though.  In the textile free area, the adults are walking around naked or wearing a towel or a robe.  You’ll see all kinds of things that might need explaining or cause uncomfortable staring, even if you do your best to avert your eyes.  For example, I saw one guy today with a very large metal ring hanging off of the end of his junk, Prince Albert style.  I don’t have kids myself, but I can just imagine explaining that one to a nine year old.

Also consider that people drink alcohol down there, just as they also do in the upstairs area.  It seems to me that adults drinking booze while naked is not necessarily compatible with hanging around with school aged children.  And… this is a big thing for me… the adults have paid an entrance fee so they can relax and unwind.  That is what spas are for.

Where’s Alice to set people straight when we need her?

I don’t find it very relaxing when a kid is hogging the jets in the pool, screaming and yelling, running amok, or staring.  I have less of a problem with kids watching couples practically fucking in the pool, which frequently happens at the Mineraltherme, than I do with them watching egregious violence on TV.  On the other hand, I’m not sure it’s something that they necessarily need to be seeing.  In fact, I’m not sure it’s something I need to be seeing, either.  But whatever… when in Rome (or Germany), right?

I counted at least five grade school aged kids in the textile free area today.  I also saw a few American youngsters who appeared to be high school aged.  They were loudly making jokes about bringing dates to the spa.  One of them was squirting water with his hands, like an oyster, and basically acting like he was at a naked pool party.

I know nudity is much more acceptable here in Germany than it is in the United States, but it’s still kind of a shock to my American sensibilities when I see young kids hanging out in the nude area of a spa, where grown people are trying to relax.  I think it’s inconsiderate for people to bring their kids in there.  It’s kind of akin to people who bring young kids on luxury cruises that aren’t equipped for kids.  It’s not really fair to the children or the other adults who have paid the price of admission.  Naturally, a day at the spa costs a lot less than a week on SeaDream I, but the concept is still the same.

Anyway… I don’t plan to write a letter of complaint or anything.  It was just something I was thinking about today at the spa.  I did leave there feeling more relaxed than I did when I came in and I’m sure I’ll go back another time.  I probably ought to show up in the mornings on weekdays, when kids are more likely to be in school, or maybe find a place that is strictly for adults.  I just think the local Freibad is probably a better place for kids to be, rather than the spa.  But that’s just little ol’ childfree me, sharing my opinion.  Incidentally, I also hate the term “littles” for children, but it is what it is.

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Uncategorized

Dining out in Deutschland– Basic German restaurant lingo…

One word you’ll see in a lot of local restaurants.

As I was writing today’s review of Holzkrug, it occurred to me that I might have some newcomers reading this blog who could use some handy tips on dining out in Deutschland.  Before Bill and I moved here for the first time in 2007, my only prior experience in Germany was for a few days in 1997.  I went to well touristed areas where a lot of people spoke English.  I don’t remember having a hard time getting what I needed in those days, but I probably made plenty of faux pas.

Dining out in Germany is a little bit different than it is in the United States.  I, for one, prefer the German experience, even if I do miss some of my favorite American foods.  This is a short list of the ways German dining is different than American dining.

Down here in the Stuttgart area, you will run into lots of English speakers.  However, in some of the smaller towns or in places where there aren’t many Americans, a few German words can come in handy.  With that in mind, here are some tips and useful words I’d like to pass on to folks who are new to the area.  If you’ve been here awhile, this post isn’t necessarily for you, although you’re welcome to send me suggestions or corrections!

Tipping and service

I like that German servers don’t depend entirely on tips and turning their tables to make money.  I have found that some Americans seem to think that the fact that service is slower means it’s not as good.  I just think Germans have a different philosophy about dining out than Americans do.  A meal out in Germany is a treat, so servers are less inclined to rush or try to upsell your bill (although there are obviously exceptions).  Also, in Germany, I have never had to have an annoying “forced” conversation with a manager wanting to know if I’m enjoying myself, as I would at certain American restaurants.  They always seem to show up when I’m mid-chew.  In Germany, servers are more likely to back off and let you eat in peace.

Tips are appreciated in Germany.  You don’t have to tip waitstaff 20% as you would in the United States.  Rounding up the bill is perfectly fine.  If you want to give more, I’m sure no one will complain.  But if you tip 20%, as you might in the US, you will look like a greenhorn and probably piss off the locals, who would rather not see that particular American custom imported here.  I used to wait tables, so it was initially hard for me to tip less, but then I remembered all the times I waited on Germans in Williamsburg, Virginia and it became a little bit easier.

The German word for “tip” is “Trinkgeld”.  It literally translates to “drink money”.

Reservations

OpenTable.de and similar online services have made making reservations at German restaurants super easy.  The first time we were living here, there were only a couple of restaurants in Stuttgart using OpenTable.  Since our return, I’m delighted to report that a whole bunch of local restaurants are using this online reservation service.  It makes getting a table a snap.  The service is free for diners and the site can be translated into English.  You can use OpenTable in other countries, too, including the United States.

But what if you want to go to a restaurant that isn’t on OpenTable?  What if it’s the kind of place you can’t necessarily just walk into and expect a table?  Well, then you can call them and hope someone speaks English, or you can probably send an email.  My husband, Bill, speaks basic German and can make reservations on the phone or send emails.  I must admit, I let him do the talking most of the time.

Another word on reservations– if you are planning to eat out on a big restaurant holiday like Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day, be sure to reserve.  Just like in the United States, restaurants get busy on those days.  If you want to be assured a table, you should plan in advance.

The word for reservations is “Reservierung”.  “Reserviert” means “reserved”.

Stammtisch

If you visit a restaurant and spot a table with the word “Stammtisch” on a sign hanging near it, that means the table is reserved for “regulars”.  You should choose another table unless you are asked to sit there by someone in charge… or, unless you are, in fact, a regular.  I usually see these tables at family owned places or bars.  Ditto if you see a table that has a sign that says “Reserviert” on it, although sometimes you can sit there if there’s a time noted and it’s not close to the time of your visit.

Sundays and “Ruhetags”

Germans treasure their Sundays as a day of quiet and rest.  Consequently, on most Sundays, you won’t find shops open.  However, restaurants and attractions are not necessarily closed on Sundays.  Some places have reduced hours or choose Sunday as their “Ruhetag” (quiet day– it means they’re closed).  But, on the whole, restaurants do stay open on Sundays and will be closed another day of the week.  I’ve found that Monday is a popular “Ruhetag”, but sometimes another day is chosen for the restaurant to be “Geschlossen” (closed).

Pauses

Many restaurants in Germany take a “pause”; that is, a break in service.  They might serve lunch from 12:00-2:00pm and then close until 5:00pm or later, whenever they reopen for dinner.  Or they may offer a limited menu or only drinks during their pause.  Some restaurants don’t take a pause.  If you see a place that advertises “durchgehend warme Küche”, that means they serve non-stop hot food as long as they’re open.  Good news for you if you want to have lunch at 2:30pm!  There are a number of places that do offer continuous food service, but just as many don’t.  You should check the Öffnungzeiten (opening times) before you stop by for a meal.

Water, ice, and refills

Welcome to Germany, land of having to pay for water.  That’s right.  If you want water in Germany, you have to buy it, and it can get pricey!  I have heard of people asking for tap water.  I have never tried it myself because I actually like Sprudel (bubbly mineral water) and I’d have to pay for that anyway back in the States.

If you want tap water, you can try asking for it, but don’t be surprised if the waiter looks at you sideways.  A lot of Germans don’t drink tap water.  Also, if you prefer water without fizz, be sure to ask for “Stille Wasser”.  If you want it with gas, you can ask for “Wasser mit Gas.” or “Sprudel”.  Either way, tell them if you want a “Flasche” (bottle) or a “Glas” (glass).  This paying for water thing isn’t the norm everywhere in Europe.  For instance, in The Netherlands and Ireland, Bill and I were served free tap water without having to ask for it.

I have yet to encounter any place that offers free refills on drinks.  Well… perhaps excepting fast food restaurants, although I wouldn’t say free refills are the norm there, either.  Frankly, I think it’s a good thing.  It means you won’t have to pee as often, which also costs money, although not usually at restaurants unless you’re at a truck stop.

If you order a soft drink, it probably won’t have much, if any, ice in it.  If you want ice (Eis), you should ask for it.  Germans don’t put a lot of ice in their drinks.  “Eis” also means ice cream, so you might be better off getting used to drinking stuff without ice cubes.  You could also try asking for “Eiswürfel”.  Honestly, this issue has never come up for me, because I usually drink wine or beer in restaurants.  When you order a drink in Germany, you will see that the glass is marked.  That’s how much liquid you’re paying for.  My guess is that Germans don’t want to dilute what they’re paying for with ice, or make it harder to make sure they’re getting exactly what they ordered and in the correct amount.  I’m sure someone will set me straight if I’m wrong.

Leftovers

Not so long ago, it wasn’t that common for German restaurants to pack up your leftovers for you.  However, during this tour, I’ve found that more and more restaurants are cool with letting you take home a doggie bag.  After all, if you don’t take your leftovers with you, the server is only going to throw them away.  Swabians, in particular, are pretty frugal folks and don’t like to waste things, and portion sizes can be pretty substantial.  To ask for your leftovers, you can say “Zu mitnehmen, bitte” (to take with, please).

Hat’s geschmeckt?

You’ll often hear this at the end of your meal.  It means, “Did you enjoy your meal?”  You can simply say “Ja!” or “Nein!”, or you can say “Ja!  Das hat geschmekt!” (Yes, that was tasty!)  Lecker is another word for “yummy” or “delicious”.

Pfands

A Pfand is a deposit you pay for dishes or glasses.  It usually comes up at fests or markets where street food is being served.  If you order a beer, you will pay for the beer and may have to pay a “Pfand” for the glass it’s served in.  If you return the glass, you will get the Pfand returned to you.  If you don’t return the glass, you don’t get your money back… but you can take the glass with you.  If you go to the big fests in Stuttgart during spring or fall, you probably won’t pay a Pfand if you’re in a tent.  However, there are people watching for you trying to sneak out with that Krug, so don’t try to take it with you.  You will likely get caught, although they’ll probably just take the mug from you.

Paying the bill

A lot of restaurants in Germany still operate on a cash only basis.  For that reason, you should always come prepared with euros unless you know that a place accepts credit cards.  Even some of the places that take cards may not be able to handle an American card.  During this tour, I’ve found that American cards with chips in them are more often accepted without a problem than the old stripe style.  However, some places are only on the EC network, so if your card is on an American system, it may not work.  As recently as 2014, we had trouble using a chip card in France.  So, it’s a good idea to bring cash when you go out to eat.

When you are ready for the bill, you usually must ask for it.  As a general rule, German servers don’t just drop a bill on someone’s table like a server might in the United States.  It all comes down to that glorious habit of not rushing people through their meals.  So, when you wish to pay, you should say “Bezahlen, bitte” to your server.  He or she will then bring you your bill.

When you pay, if you wish to leave a “Trinkgeld” and are expecting change, tell the server how much to make the bill.  For example, if your bill is 17 euros and you want to round up, you’d say “Zwanzig, bitte”  for twenty euros.  If you gave them a fifty euro note, they’ll give you back thirty euros.  If you gave them a twenty euro note and simply want them to keep the change, you can say “Das ist Stimmt” (that is correct) or simply “Stimmt”.

Do not leave cash on the table.  If you want to give your server a tip, make sure you hand it to them.  Otherwise, they might think you left money behind by mistake.

This is a pretty quick and dirty post for newcomers.  Depending on how it’s received by the community, I may later write a sequel.  If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to either leave a comment on my blog or on Facebook, which is where a lot of people find my stuff!

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books

A review of German Men Sit Down To Pee And Other Insights Into German Culture

 

In this case, you can judge the book by its cover.

I love to read books about other cultures, especially when they are about countries where I have lived.  Although Bill and I have spent years in Germany (and Bill has spent more years here than I have), there are still a lot of things I don’t know about German culture.  One thing I learned when we lived here the first time is that German men usually sit down when they pee.

I initially learned about German men’s toilet habits by frequenting Toytown Germany, a forum for English speakers that predates any of the Facebook groups in our area.  Suddenly, the little sign in our bathroom, probably posted by our old landlord’s ex wife, made perfect sense.  I was so tickled about this phenomenon that I decided to write about it on my main blog.

 

Now it makes sense!

 

When I spotted a book on Amazon called German Men Sit Down To Pee And Other Insights Into German Culture, I knew I had to read it.  This little book, available in printed and online versions, was published in 2015 and written by Niklas Frank and James Cave.  Niklas Frank is from Germany, although he’s lived in Sweden and China.  Frank noticed his friends and colleagues were amused by his quirky “Germanness” and decided to take notes, which later served as the basis of this book.  James Cave is Irish and a writer.  He has lived in Germany, France, Spain, the United Kingdom, and Portugal.  Cave does not follow all of the German rules, but as an “Auslander“, was no doubt in a unique position to help Frank decide what to include in their book.

German Men Sit Down to Pee is a delightfully fun and quick read.  It’s full of information about many of the mysteries of living in Germany.  Not only is there discussion about German men sitting down to pee; there are also explanations and anecdotes about other German customs that may seem obscure to people who aren’t German.  For instance, did you know that if it’s your birthday in Germany, you’re supposed to bring a cake to work for your colleagues to enjoy?  And if you go out for drinks, you’re supposed to pay the check?

Anyone who spends any time in Germany will quickly notice that Germans like to follow the rules.  That means you don’t walk until you see the green man at the crosswalk.  You don’t make noise or expect to go grocery shopping in German supermarkets on Sundays.  You don’t drink Kolsch in Düsseldorf or Altbier in Cologne (or vice versa).  However, if you want to get naked in a park, especially in Munich or Berlin, you’re more than welcome to.  Germans dig nudity.

Germans are often wrongly described as “humorless”, but this book helps dispel that rumor.  I wouldn’t say Germans are humorless.  They just enjoy a different kind of humor.  For instance, as I read this book, I learned that German parents can and will hire a guy to play Krampus at Christmas if their kids have been naughty.  For about 50 euros, a guy will dress up as a Christmas themed satan, show up at the children’s houses, and put the fear of God in them!  I had heard of Krampus in a vague sense.  I thought it was more of an Austrian thing to do, but no… apparently German parents are not above using Krampus to get their kids to behave.  Too funny!

The authors include discussions and rationales behind a number of different German idiosyncrasies.  For instance, cash is still a very popular way to pay for things in Germany.  Germans are often frugal and prefer not to spend money they don’t have.  Always paying cash makes that habit easier to maintain, even if it’s a pain for non-Germans.

I really enjoyed the lighthearted tone of this book.  I think Cave and Frank make a good team.  I could sort of tell Cave was the one who made the book flow, since it has sort of an Irish feel to it– lots of wit and humor.  And Frank no doubt provided all of the context and oddities that Cave would have missed, since he’s not from Germany.  There are also a lot of funny little comics included.

I wish I could have read this book before we moved here the first time; however, I must admit that reading about German men sitting to pee on an Internet forum was an entertaining way to blow an afternoon back in 2008.  I would recommend this book to anyone who is going to be living in Germany or even just planning a visit.  It’s well-written and accurate and would probably make for a fun family discussion… and, who knows?  Maybe you might even want to adopt some German idiosyncratic habits yourself.  I know Bill and I are now a lot more conscious about waiting for the green man when we want to cross the street.  That’s a habit that will probably never go away, even years after we’ve left here.

I give German Men Sit Down to Pee a solid 4.5 stars out of five.  Not only is it an enjoyable book, it’s also a bargain at just $4.50 if you download it.

Buy German Men Sit Down to Pee on Amazon.com.

As an Amazon Associate, I get a small commission from Amazon on sales made through my site.

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laws

The high price of giving someone the finger in Germany… part two

In May 2015, I wrote a piece on this blog called “The high price of giving someone the finger in Germany”.  That particular post has proven to be somewhat “evergreen”.  I still get a lot of hits on it, even though it’s over two years old.  I suspect people find it when they hear about Germany’s rules about not insulting people when driving and not cussing out the cops.

Lately, the weather over here has been pretty depressing.  I think it’s starting to get to people.  Over the weekend, there was a very long thread in one of our local Facebook groups about how “rude” Germans are, especially in the Stuttgart area.  A lot of Americans chimed in, agreeing with the original poster that people here can be cold, insulting, and unpleasant.  Quite a few Germans from other parts of the country have also written that this part of the country isn’t like the rest of Germany.  Some have even said that people here… well… they can be assholes.

While I have been yelled at more than a couple of times by locals, I personally don’t agree that people here are any more unpleasant than in other parts of the world.  What I have found is that Germans, as a whole, can seem uncommonly blunt and/or assertive about some things.  The Stuttgart area is part of Swabia, which is apparently considered “different” somehow than other parts of Germany.  Indeed, there is a dialect here that even native German speakers say can be hard to understand.  Swabians, as a whole, have a reputation for being very tight with their money and uptight in general.  However, reputations are really just stereotypes and not everyone lives up to stereotypes.

Trixi demonstrates how different German dialects can sound, even to native speakers.

When Bill and I moved back here in August 2014, I befriended a local on Facebook.  I still haven’t met her in person, but she follows my blog and often gives me useful tips.  One very helpful piece of advice she gave me was to read Your Swabian Neighbors.  Written by American Bob Larson, who once served as a military liaison between German government officials and American military officials, this handy book is all about the idiosyncrasies of life in Baden-Württemberg for those who aren’t actually from this area.  Larson, who married a Swabian woman and lived in Germany for many years, published his book in the early 80s.  Though some parts of the book are dated, a lot of the information still holds true today.  I’m thinking it may even be time to re-read that book as, after three years, I am starting to miss my homeland a little.  At this point, there’s no telling how much longer we’ll be here.

Sometimes Americans in Germany advise others to “flip the bird” to people who piss them off in some way.  I know this is not a good idea when driving or dealing with police officers.  Nowadays, most everyone has a camera on their phones and if it can be proven that you used an obscene gesture, you can be fined up to 4000 euros (although my local friend says this isn’t the usual fine).  It’s probably not a good idea to flip people off even if you’re not driving, though.  Germans like their fines.

I see the original list of insults I included in my first post about this has been updated.  Here’s the translated list for your amusement.  Some of the insults are pretty funny.

I know it’s tempting to fire back at people who yell at you, but you might want to hold back from using obscene gestures or engaging in namecalling… 

 

It’s not always easy living in another country, even when it’s Germany, which has some things in common with the United States.  I know people get frustrated.  I get frustrated, too.  And I will even agree that sometimes dealing with locals can be infuriating.

On the other hand, there have been times when I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by the kindness of locals.  In fact, on Saturday, Bill and I went to a grocery store and picked up just one item.  The lady ahead of us saw that we had a small order and enthusiastically invited us to go ahead of her.  In my neighborhood, my neighbors threw a block party and invited Bill and me to attend.  Every morning when I walk my dogs, I am sure to hear at least one “Guten Morgen” from other dog walkers or my neighbors.  They usually sound like they mean it, too.  Sometimes they even smile!

Even the vet where we take our dogs has taken a shine to us.  I’ve been having some problems wearing my contact lenses lately.  I’ll wear them for a few days with no problem, then one or both of my eyes will suddenly get really irritated.  Last week, I took Zane in to his vet for an allergy shot and she asked me if I was okay.  It was probably because I was wearing my glasses and hating it.  But she noticed I wasn’t myself and genuinely wanted to know if I was alright.  That’s a far cry from the usual “How you doin'” you get in the States where the person doesn’t actually care how you are and doesn’t expect a truthful response.

So… the moral of this post is, assholes are everywhere.  I don’t think there are any more assholes in Swabia than there are in other parts of the world.  It may just seem that way, especially to Americans, due to cultural differences, the occasionally harsh sounds of the German language, and, maybe, even the gloomy weather we’ve had lately.

If you ever feel tempted to flip someone off or call them names, take a minute to consider all of the awesome vacation destinations in and around Germany.  Wouldn’t you rather spend 4000 euros on a cruise somewhere or a first class flight?  I know I would.

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