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The ballad of the Swiss vignette…

Sung to the Gilligan’s Island theme song… (although I’m sure a lot of you younguns don’t know about Gilligan’s Island…)

Just sit right back and you’ll read a tale,
A tale of a stressful jaunt.
With traffic backed up horribly,
Upon the Autobahn.

The driver was a contractor,
His wife by his side long haul.
The two passengers set off that day
For a trip to the mall. (A trip to the mall)

The traffic started getting slow,
The Mini Coop was tossed,
If not for the patience of fearless Bill
The Mini would be lost, the Mini would be lost.

The car crawled down the Autobahn, like every other schmuck
Seemed every German
near Stuttgart
Was similarly stuck.

So this is the tale of our hapless crew,
In traffic for a long, long time,
They’ll have to make the best of things,
It’s an uphill climb.

The cranky wife and her husband too,
Must do their very best,
To make themselves less miserable,
In that highway mess.

No exits, no shade, no pretty lakes
Just endless lights from brakes,
A Stau from Hell it sure was,
Obnoxious enough to cuss.

So join us here in an hour my friend,
We’re sure to still be there,
Just two unlucky motorists,
Hurrying to get nowhere!

This Stau sucked!

Today’s creative opening comes courtesy of the two hour odyssey Bill and I suffered today on our quest to buy Swiss vignettes at the ADAC store in Sindelfingen’s Brueningerland.  Ordinarily, the trip to that mall takes maybe a half hour from where we live, down here on the edge of the Black Forest (with all the other nuts).  Today, I swear to God, it took about two hours.

The trip started off innocently enough.  We had beautiful weather.  I was giving some thought to visiting somewhere pretty and/or cool, where we could walk around, have a nice lunch, take pictures, and go home.  But then I realized that in two weeks, we’ll be driving through Switzerland.  So I told Bill that maybe we should go to the ADAC store in Sindelfingen to pick up 2018 Swiss vignettes.

We really should have just gone to the damn Swiss border!  Or, barring that, we should have just ordered them and had them mailed.  These stickers are good from December 1, 2017 until January 31, 2019.

My original plan was to go to the Swiss border itself.  In retrospect, that probably would have taken us less time.  But at about noon today, we still didn’t know that there had been some kind of big accident on the Autobahn.  We were blissfully ignorant of what lie ahead on that stretch of treacherous highway.  So off we went north, the top down, Van Morrison blaring on the stereo.  We got up to just beyond the Ehningen exit when traffic slowed to a crawl.

Bill checked the GPS and didn’t see any reason why we should be held up, but we sure as hell were.  The traffic was absolutely horrible.  It turned out the police had shut down the part of the road that goes through Sindelfingen, so everyone had to detour off of exit 23.  It was a nightmare.  By the time we got to the mall, it was about 2:00.  I was decidedly cranky and hangry as we parked and went inside the surprisingly cool shopping mall, which, for once wasn’t a madhouse.

The wait at ADAC was also blessedly short.  In fact, we had no wait there at all.  We bought two vignettes at a cost of 71,50 euros.  Then, we went searching for food.  For some reason, I’m always at Breuningerland when I’m hungry.  I get very irritable when I’m hungry.  Bill was pretty funny, because he could see how tense I was.  As I eyed the menu at Nordsee, he said, “Isn’t there a restaurant up on the top floor that has wine?”

“Why?” I asked him.  “Do you think I need wine?”

“Clearly.” he said, nodding.  We made our way to the top level and went searching for a place to have a late lunch… later than I would have wanted it, anyway.

Actually, we ended up having lunch at Miyo, which is an Asian “Soul Food” place.  They have a sushi bar, which was packed today.  I didn’t have the patience for that, so we went to the main counter and ordered a chicken Satay with peanut sauce for Bill and a Mandarin sweet and sour duck dish for me.  You order at the counter and they give you your drink and bring the food out to you.

The chicken came with a rich peanut sauce, which I loved.  The vegetables were nice, too.  The rice was both dry and sticky, though.  It was stuck together in clumps, yet kind of had a dryness, as if it had been sitting awhile.  I’m not sure how they managed that.  Business was steady today.

My duck was crispy, but came with sweet and sour sauce, pineapples, bamboo, carrots, and red peppers.  Bill said that after a couple of bites, the color came back into my cheeks.  We washed this down with Erdinger weizens.

 

Miyo wasn’t a bad place to have lunch, although I’ve had better Asian food.  It did the trick in wiping the scowl off my face.  I felt remarkably better after I got rid of my hanger.

Then, Bill said, “Hey, do you think we should go get some tequila?”

I said sure to that, so we went to the Edeka on the first level of the mall.  We picked up bottles of gin and tequila– the gin is for Bill and the tequila is for me.  We also bought some rather sickly looking limes and some chocolate.  You know, the essentials…

Tequila, limes, gin, and chocolate…

I managed to resist the troughs of Nutella…

And the “shots” obviously meant for horny 20 year olds who want to get drunk.  They probably taste great, though.

 

By four o’clock, we were ready to head home.  I was relieved to see that traffic was flowing southbound.  But the northbound side was still shut down, a good three hours after we first got caught in the Stau.  Whatever happened was clearly very serious.  Bill noted that it took us a lot less time to buy the vignettes, eat lunch, do a little shopping, and go home than it did to drive up A81 to get to the mall in the first place.

Many police officers and highway crew were still clearing the scene two hours after we arrived at the mall.

 

That Stau was no joke!

 

We’re both now exhausted.  This will probably be us tonight.  Hopefully tomorrow, we’ll go somewhere a little less irritating.

 

There is definitely a reason the Stuttgart area is nicknamed STAUgart.

Edited to add:  Here’s a translated news story about the cause of the Stau.

It’s not that fast. After at midday a scrap truck on the A 81 – at the height Breuningerland – had tipped over, the clean-up work continues. A tip to the drivers: Sindelfingen drive around.

The reason why the scene of the accident has not yet been cleared: Many small metal parts, which were scattered by the accident on the highway, must be picked up laboriously. The sharp-edged sheet metal remnants could otherwise lead to damage to cars and possibly subsequent accidents. According to the police, the motorway in the direction of Stuttgart is therefore likely to remain closed until around 18:15 / 18:45. You may be able to temporarily open a lane. Currently, traffic is being diverted at the motorway exit Böblingen / Sindelfngen. Traffic on the highway is currently jamming back to Ehingen. Also in Sindelfingen and partly also in Böblingen the roads are heavily encumbered by the motorway closure. Best, you bypass the area spacious.

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knotty’s big trip to the mall…

I usually like to do new things on Saturdays.  That’s the one day of the week when my husband is home and things are open.  Bill is trying to write a paper for one of his cybersecurity classes, so he wasn’t all that keen to go on a long outing today.  Since it was getting a bit late when I finally convinced him we needed to get out for a bit, this afternoon we visited the Mercaden Mall in Böblingen for the very first time.

The Mercaden is a new mall.  It didn’t exist the last time we lived here.  Last time we were here, the only decent mall was Breunigerland in Sindelfingen (There is also Schwaben Galerie in Vaihingen, but that mall doesn’t thrill me much).  Breunigerland is terminally crowded and offers a lot of European shops and eateries.  We were last there at Christmas, when we rejoined ADAC (the German auto club).

ADAC, by the way, is well worth joining.  We were members last time we lived here and our membership paid for itself when our car’s battery died on us while parked long term in a garage.  We called ADAC and some guy came out, tested the car, found out what was wrong, and sold us a battery on the spot.  That German battery lasted a good five years before it needed replacing.  Aside from ADAC, Breunigerland also has upscale shopping.  It kind of reminds me of Tyson’s II in the Washington, DC area.

By contrast, Mercaden doesn’t seem quite as upscale, even though it’s a lot newer and more pristine.  The stores and eateries are more American.  For instance, there’s a McDonald’s in the Mercaden Mall, while Breunigerland only has a freestanding McDonald’s in the parking lot.  The Mercaden also has a nice Edeka grocery store and a Dunkin’ Donuts, which I know really gets Americans excited.  We did stop by there today and picked up some donut holes.  I am here to tell you that they aren’t really the same, though they aren’t bad, either.

Not quite like home, but satisfying enough…  They aren’t as sweet as American ones.  There is also a Dunkin’ Donuts in Tuebingen.

The Mercaden has plenty of parking in a garage, which you have to pay for.  Breunigerland’s parking is free.  Mercaden is right next to the Bahnhof in Böblingen, so you don’t have to fool with parking if you don’t want to.  The first hour of parking at Mercaden is free, anyway.

I think– but am not positive– that the toilets at Breunigerland are also free, while they cost 70 cents at Mercaden.  The price to pee has gone up.  It used to be universally pretty much 50 cents everywhere, but now they have a fancy machine that takes the money that has to be paid for.  On the plus side, the Mercaden’s toilets are very clean and modern.  Someone was actually attending them, so I didn’t mind paying.

We ended up buying food today.  First, we had lunch at an Italian pizza and pasta place situated right in the middle of the corridor.  It made for good people watching.  I got to watch a guy walk his well-behaved labrador retriever around as Bill and I ate pasta washed down with beer.

Bill tells it like it is…

The menu.  On the other side, there was a pizza menu.  I probably should have gone for the pizza instead of pasta.

Sushi?  It also looked good.  And so did the doner kebab place next to it.

But I had spaghetti with tomato sauce and bacon…

And Bill had spaghetti with a light cream sauce and basil pesto…

And local suds…  I love that a restaurant can be in the middle of a mall corridor and have a full bar.

After lunch, we bought some cheese, wine, deer salami, and Italian butter at an Italian deli.  Then we bought a loaf of bread and a pretzel at a bakery.  Finally, we got our Dunkin’ Donuts… or donut holes, as it turned out.  I actually wanted donuts, but then when I saw them, I decided the holes would be better for my ass.  Since they are European Dunkin’ Donuts, they aren’t as sweet anyway.  Winning.

One other thing I noticed about Mercaden is that it was not really crowded today.  In fact, it seems to be a very pleasant place to shop.  Enclosed malls are disappearing in the United States, but they are still pretty popular in Europe, probably because the weather can really suck much of the time.  But since today was relatively nice after the rain stopped, there weren’t so many people in the mall.  If I’d wanted to, I could have spent a few hours there, but we were home within a couple of hours.  After we picked up our stuff, it didn’t seem necessary to stay longer.  There was a time in my life when I would have made up a reason to hang out at the mall.  I guess I have evolved.

I could go back there again, though I really like shopping online now.  The Italian deli might be enough of a reason to go back… and the bakeries, which were very impressive indeed and offered some enticing looking cakes.  There were also a lot of ice cream stops… more than I would have expected, really.

Getting out of the garage was an adventure.  Bill made a wrong turn and had to circle back around the way he came in so we could leave.  But once we were out of the garage, it was very easy to get back on the autobahn and go home.  In fact, even though Breunigerland has free parking, Mercaden is an easier mall to navigate into and out of.  I give it a thumbs up.

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