Yeah… the AI picture is pretty much what it looked like.

Bill and I have now spent over half our marriage living in Germany. He spent three years here as a young lieutenant in the 1980s. Then, we moved here in 2007 for two more years. Then, we came back in 2014, and have been living in Germany ever since. We’ve also visited Germany on vacations, when we weren’t living here.

The one thing I don’t think I’ll ever get used to is the German “stare”. It’s a phenomenon I’ve experienced more times than I could ever count.

The German stare isn’t like your garden variety stare. It’s a certain look of disapproval. Sometimes it’s subtle, like a quiet side eye. Sometimes, it’s very obvious. Sometimes it’s silent. Sometimes it’s delivered with a stern dressing down.

It always amazes me that some people feel perfectly fine about conspicuously staring at what other people are doing, looking on in disdain, or even feeling like they have the right to “speak” to a perfect stranger who is just going about their business and wants to be left alone. But this this is a fact of life in Germany… which doesn’t mean I don’t love living here. It’s just something I feel like writing about today, as I wait for the laundry to finish drying.

I’m prompted to write about the German stare this morning because of something that happened yesterday, as I was walking Noyzi and Charlie. If you follow my other blog, you might know that yesterday’s post was a song parody. And while the song parody is basically just an old pop song with new lyrics about Trump’s flatulence, it still took me awhile to create it and turn it into a video.

I make music videos for fun, and as a way to express myself creatively. Sometimes, I actually feel compelled to write song parodies. They help me cope. But they take a lot of work, and significant time, and because of that, yesterday, I was walking the dogs later in the morning.

The Dorfplatz was busier than usual, as the dogs and I walked down the hill from Am Rathaus. Several people were sitting there, enjoying our town’s central meeting spot. There was a woman with a small child, another woman with a baby in a pram, and an elderly lady with a cane. I walked past them on my normal 15 minute route.

Less than a minute after we passed the ladies in the Dorfplatz, Noyzi suddenly decided to crouch in “dump” position. He dropped a big pile of crap on the side of the street.

As Noyzi was pooping, a man in a black SUV was approaching in the opposite direction. He obviously noticed Noyzi’s activity and STOPPED his car to rubberneck. I glared at him as I pulled a bright red shit bag out of my pocket, so I could clean up the pile of excrement.

As I opened the bag and bent over to pick up Noyzi’s deposit, the man sped off. Meanwhile, the elderly lady who had been in the Dorfplatz started yelling something at me. I could tell she was talking about the dogs, and it sounded like she was asking a question.

Unfortunately for her, I was in no mood for chatter, and I suspected she was concerned about having to share the sidewalk with us. I quickly picked up the poop and scurried off ahead of her. I didn’t want to cross the street or hinder, or be hindered, by her.

On the way back through the Dorfplatz, I dropped the sack of crap into a public trashcan. The walk was soon completed, and I temporarily put the incident out of my mind.

While I was chatting with Bill after dinner last night, I decided to do a Google search to see if other people had posted about this phenomenon… the German stare… which I definitely received from the guy in the SUV. I typed the following search string:

“german stopped his car when my dog pooped”

Google now has AI in its search bar, and my query prompted AI to give me an answer. I have to admit, it was an amusing exchange:

I was intrigued by this exchange with AI, so I responded again.

“he moved on when I pulled out a bag and gave him a dirty look”

And what if I didn’t clean up the mess? Was he going to get out of the car and yell at me? Would he roll down the window and chastise me? Call the Polizei, maybe? Obviously, what I was doing was VERY important to this dude. But to me, his sudden attention was creepy, weird, and most unwelcome.

I responded again with this:

“It was silent.”

AI gratified me by reassuring me that I did the right thing…

I gave AI another response:

“I live in Germany.”

AI made another response, full of assumptions about the conditions of my life here.

I ended the “chat” with AI with this:

“it definitely wasn’t my first time being stared at.”

AI, once again, complimented and edified me, congratulating me on my “thick skin”. Yeah, my skin is thick with adipose, but I’ll always find the “German stare” impolite and annoying… and I will respond accordingly, because I’m childish that way…

At that point, I decided I was bored with my exchange with Google AI about cleaning up dog shit. However, that exchange made me realize why some people see AI as a friend they’ve never had. It’s weird to be having that kind of an exchange with my computer, with it reassuring me and teaching me about a place I’ve lived in for years, now. AI could be your best friend or worst enemy, I suppose.

I often think back on my life and realize that when I was born, The Brady Bunch was still in its first prime time run on ABC. Now, in my 54th year of life, I’m having conversations with artificial intelligence on my iPad, and it’s telling me about German laws.

As the man in the 90s used to sing, “How Bizarre!”

Also… Facebook memories tells me that this same thing happened on September 1 five years ago…

Ah well… maybe today’s walk will be less obnoxious. On the way back home, I had to wait for several cars to pass before I could cross the street. And this is in our little village, which has no stop lights. But at least no one showed me their penis. So that’s a plus…