Tag Archives: dog crap

Person walking two dogs through a historic half-timbered village
Charlie and Noyzi, communication, customs, Hessen, laws, rants

AI teaches me about the German stare… Soziale Kontrolle…

Yeah… the AI picture is pretty much what it looked like.

Bill and I have now spent over half our marriage living in Germany. He spent three years here as a young lieutenant in the 1980s. Then, we moved here in 2007 for two more years. Then, we came back in 2014, and have been living in Germany ever since. We’ve also visited Germany on vacations, when we weren’t living here.

The one thing I don’t think I’ll ever get used to is the German “stare”. It’s a phenomenon I’ve experienced more times than I could ever count.

The German stare isn’t like your garden variety stare. It’s a certain look of disapproval. Sometimes it’s subtle, like a quiet side eye. Sometimes, it’s very obvious. Sometimes it’s silent. Sometimes it’s delivered with a stern dressing down.

It always amazes me that some people feel perfectly fine about conspicuously staring at what other people are doing, looking on in disdain, or even feeling like they have the right to “speak” to a perfect stranger who is just going about their business and wants to be left alone. But this this is a fact of life in Germany… which doesn’t mean I dislike living here. It’s just something I feel like writing about today, as I wait for the laundry to finish drying.

I’m prompted to write about the German stare this morning because of something that happened yesterday, as I was walking Noyzi and Charlie. If you follow my other blog, you might know that yesterday’s post was a song parody. And while the song parody is basically just an old pop song with new lyrics about Trump’s flatulence, it still took me awhile to create it and turn it into a video.

I make music videos for fun, and as a way to express myself creatively. Sometimes, I actually feel compelled to write song parodies. They help me cope. But they take a lot of work, and significant time, and because of that, yesterday, I was walking the dogs later in the morning.

The Dorfplatz was busier than usual, as the dogs and I walked down the hill from Am Rathaus. Several people were sitting there, enjoying our town’s central meeting spot. There was a woman with a small child, another woman with a baby in a pram, and an elderly lady with a cane. I walked past them on my normal 15 minute route.

Less than a minute after we passed the ladies in the Dorfplatz, Noyzi suddenly decided to crouch in “dump” position. He dropped a big pile of crap on the side of the street.

As Noyzi was pooping, a man in a black SUV was approaching in the opposite direction. He obviously noticed Noyzi’s activity and STOPPED his car to rubberneck. I glared at him as I pulled a bright red shit bag out of my pocket, so I could clean up the pile of excrement.

As I opened the bag and bent over to pick up Noyzi’s deposit, the man sped off. Meanwhile, the elderly lady who had been in the Dorfplatz started yelling something at me. I could tell she was talking about the dogs, and it sounded like she was asking a question.

Unfortunately for her, I was in no mood for chatter, and I suspected she was concerned about having to share the sidewalk with us. I quickly picked up the poop and scurried off ahead of her. I didn’t want to cross the street or hinder, or be hindered, by her.

On the way back through the Dorfplatz, I dropped the sack of crap into a public trashcan. The walk was soon completed, and I temporarily put the incident out of my mind.

While I was chatting with Bill after dinner last night, I decided to do a Google search to see if other people had posted about this phenomenon… the German stare… which I definitely received from the guy in the SUV. I typed the following search string:

“german stopped his car when my dog pooped”

Google now has AI in its search bar, and my query prompted AI to give me an answer. I have to admit, it was an amusing exchange:

Well… yeah, nobody likes to step in dog poop. But why would you automatically take it upon yourself to police a total stranger? Especially when you’re driving?

I was intrigued by this exchange with AI, so I responded again.

“he moved on when I pulled out a bag and gave him a dirty look”

Yeah… but why did he feel like it was right and proper to just stop in the middle of the street, perhaps inconveniencing other people? Was it really that earth shattering to make sure I cleaned up after Noyzi?

And what if I didn’t clean up the mess? Was he going to get out of the car and yell at me? Would he roll down the window and chastise me? Call the Polizei, maybe? Obviously, what I was doing was VERY important to this dude. But to me, his sudden attention was creepy, weird, and most unwelcome.

I responded again with this:

“It was silent.”

AI gratified me by reassuring me that I did the right thing…

He didn’t “force” me to do anything, though. It’s my habit to clean up my dogs’ messes. He prompted me to look at him with extreme irritation.

I gave AI another response:

“I live in Germany.”

AI made another response, full of assumptions about the conditions of my life here.

They aren’t “trying” to be rude, but it IS kind of rude to assume someone might not clean up after their dogs. On the other hand, I have seen plenty of evidence that a lot of people don’t clean up their dogs’ shit. 🤷‍♀️

I ended the “chat” with AI with this:

“it definitely wasn’t my first time being stared at.”

AI, once again, complimented and edified me, congratulating me on my “thick skin”. Yeah, my skin is thick with adipose, but I’ll always find the “German stare” impolite and annoying… and I will respond accordingly, because I’m childish that way…

Again, another assumption. I don’t think I’ll ever “get used to” the monitoring. I do find it irritating. But I understand that’s just how life is here, and I’ll never change it.

At that point, I decided I was bored with my exchange with Google AI about cleaning up dog shit. However, that exchange made me realize why some people see AI as a friend they’ve never had. It’s weird to be having that kind of an exchange with my computer, with it reassuring me and teaching me about a place I’ve lived in for years, now. AI could be your best friend or worst enemy, I suppose.

I often think back on my life and realize that when I was born, The Brady Bunch was still in its first prime time run on ABC. Now, in my 54th year of life, I’m having conversations with artificial intelligence on my iPad, and it’s telling me about German laws.

As the man in the 90s used to sing, “How Bizarre!”

I guess this dates me, too…

Also… Facebook memories tells me that this same thing happened on September 1 five years ago…

Yup. Maybe it’s a seasonal thing. I do remember, in this case, taking my time cleaning it up, so she’d be forced to linger longer. What can I say? Sometimes, I’m pretty petty. 😈

Ah well… maybe today’s walk will be less obnoxious. On the way back home, I had to wait for several cars to pass before I could cross the street. And this is in our little village, which has no stop lights. But at least no one showed me their penis. So that’s a plus…

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anecdotes, Police

A brief interaction with the Polizei…

A hearty “vielen dank” to Wikimedia Commons contributor Garitzko, who has kindly and graciously released the featured photo of the Polizei car into the public domain. I am grateful.

Yesterday, I had an unexpected encounter with the local police. It’s all because I impulsively ordered a new bookshelf for our bedroom. The new shelf is part of my quest to make our house more livable and less cluttered. I also bought a new “trolley” for our bathroom, to put toiletries and cleaning supplies in, as we don’t have a built in cabinet or closet. I got tired of seeing random stuff strewn all over the bathroom, and the pile of dusty books on my nightstand was getting out of hand. While I was at it, I also ordered fancy new toilet brushes! Maybe they will arrive today.

I feel somewhat accomplished, finally buying this trolley after four years in this house… It arrived a couple of hours after the minor police drama, and seems to have done the trick of giving me a new place for my stuff.

So what does this Amazon.de shopping spree have to do with my interaction with the local cops? Well, it seems that the shelf was shipped to me via GLS, which is a company that delivers parcels. The guy who was delivering the shelf was apparently “lost”, and he rang my neighbor’s doorbell, looking for my house. He claimed I wasn’t home, although I was actually home all morning.

Recently, someone in our neighborhood Facebook group posted about random people who seemed to be casing the neighborhood, possibly looking for places to burgle. I guess, to my neighbors, the delivery guy looked and acted like he might have been up to no good.

My neighbors got suspicious and called the cops, perhaps because they were going to start their vacation yesterday, and were worried about a break in while they were gone. I was none the wiser when this was happening, as I was writing a post on my regular blog and practicing guitar.

Anyway, the delivery guy eventually found my house, rang my doorbell, and dropped off the new shelf, even bringing it into the house for me. I appreciated that, given the rainy weather and the item’s cumbersome size. I still had to haul it upstairs, but aside from being kind of hard to carry, it wasn’t too heavy.

The shelf was very easy to set up– took maybe two minutes, once I opened the box. I moved our laundry hamper and set up the shelf where the hamper had been, then put the books that needed a new home on it. Then I went downstairs to do my daily routine dog poop search and destroy mission in the backyard.

I had just collected and bagged a fresh pile of Noyzi’s shit, and was about to take it to the grey bin, when the doorbell rang again. This time, it was my neighbor wanting to ask about the delivery. In my hand, I still had the bright red bag of fresh dog crap, recently deposited by Noyzi, the Kosovar wonderdog. I tried to hold it out of sight as I spoke to my neighbor.

Who knew this new shelf would cause such a ruckus?

My neighbor asked me about the delivery. I said I had just received it. His wife came over and asked me more questions. I got the sense that maybe she was the one who was suspicious about the delivery man. I reassured them that yes, I had bought a new bookshelf, and the guy– who was admittedly a little unkempt– had dropped it off a short while ago. I was kind of wanting to hurry up the interrogation, so I could finally rid myself of the bag of crap.

Then, they went back to speak to the male and female police officers. I dashed out to the trash cans so I could throw away Noyzi’s poop. I was dressed in my nightgown, and it was still steadily raining. Nevertheless, the cops wanted to talk to me, too, and tried starting a conversation in the middle of our cul-de-sac. I looked up at the sky and suggested we talk on my stoop, which has benefit of a balcony for shelter from the rain.

The cops asked me to explain everything that happened, right down to showing them the label of my box, verifying that it was delivered by GLS. I described what I remembered of the man and his white van. Then they asked for my phone number, which I struggled to recall, since I don’t call myself or give that number out to too many people.

I noticed, as I was talking to the cops, that they were both VERY young looking. They looked like they were in their early 20s. The woman was quite pretty, too. Both of them spoke English, and they were very polite and even pleasant, and not in the typical “American” sense. Germans, as a rule, are more formal than Americans are.

Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of U.S. based police videos, and I’ve noticed a lot of the American cops are pretty horrible. In fairness, so are a lot of the people they have to deal with… so I guess it’s understandable that they’d be the way they are.

Still, I was quite impressed by the German cops I spoke to yesterday. They were very mature, thorough, and professional, even though they looked like they were barely adults. They took my neighbor’s complaint seriously, even though it was probably clear to them that the delivery was legit, and not some guy looking to break into their house while they’re gone. My non-existent hat is off to them!

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