Category Archives: German culture

anecdotes

Try it… you might like it!

Last night, George Takei’s page shared an AITA post about a German woman who was upset because her American boyfriend refused to go to an “all-nude” spa with her. If you follow this blog, you might already know that I am an American, and I am a fan of the German “all-nude” spas. I’ve written about our experiences a few times, and based on the hits I get, I know that this topic is interesting to people all over the world.

I will confess, it took me a long time to work up the courage to try a nude spa. Once I walked into the Palais Thermal the first time, though… (my very first nude spa experience), it took me very little time to join in the fun and bare it all. My very self-conscious, modest husband, Bill, soon followed. We both quickly realized that being nude in a German spa is no big deal. Everybody is nude, and no one cares what your body looks like. The focus is on wellness and health, not ogling and gawking. I was VERY proud of Bill for trying it, by the way. I thought he never would, but once he tried the spa and didn’t die of embarrassment, he became a fan.

I want to ask this guy… Why go to Germany as an exchange student if you don’t want to embrace the culture? My guess is that she got tickets to Friedrichsbad in Baden-Baden, which is NOT cheap. However, it is a very nice experience.

It was with that truth in mind that I decided to leave a comment on George Takei’s post. I noticed several Germans “liked” my post, but one person– name of Sasha– decided to berate and insult me for posting that the American boyfriend “doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Sasha started by saying my comment was “ridiculous”, because just because I like something, that doesn’t mean everyone will. Then he (I’m assuming it was a “he”) continued by leaving uncivilized and insulting comments about everything from my intellect to my appearance.

The dude in Takei’s article later followed up with this conclusion…

She should have asked him before buying the tickets. BUT– by not even considering her proposal, he’s missing out on an interesting experience.

I finally shut down Sasha after he said I “wasn’t very bright” by “agreeing”, with a laugh reaction and the comment “Whatever you say!” He “liked” it and fucked off, much to my relief.

I wonder what that was about. Was he looking for a fight with a stranger? Was his goal to try to humiliate me? I don’t think he got what he was looking for, because I just laugh reacted at him repeatedly, and resisted the urge to comment with annoyance or nastiness. I did advise him to keep scrolling or simply fuck off, if he didn’t like my comment, but his reaction was to continue being rude, rather than having a discussion.

I will agree that not everyone likes nude spas. However, this guy has obviously never even been to one, and would never even consider going to one. It kind of makes him a wimp, in my book. If he goes and doesn’t like the experience, that’s one thing. But by just giving in to the idea that nude spas are weird and make him feel “uncomfortable”, he’s definitely limiting himself. I wonder why he’d want to be an exchange student if he’s so afraid to try new things.

Put it this way… what’s the worst thing that might happen? He’s not going to die. If he started to die, he would be rescued. Germans are great at rescuing people who are in trouble.

Does he think people will laugh at him? In all the times I’ve been to nude spas, that has never happened to me. And I have a body that might inspire laughter. In fact, the vast majority of people who go are there to relax. They are focused on themselves, not you. The one exception is the time we went to the Mineraltherme near Stuttgart, and there were American teenaged boys there who had probably come thinking they’d see “hot” women in the nude. I am sure they were sorely disappointed.

Is he afraid he’s going to be “grossed out” by other people’s bodies? If so, he might want to think about his attitude toward other people. We were all born naked. Everyone has “parts”. It’s not really a big deal if you see someone else’s parts. You can avert your eyes. Most people stay in the water, anyway, when they’re nude. When they get out of the water, they wrap up in a towel or a robe. In fairness, though, the Friedrichsbad isn’t really like that. The time we went there, we were nude pretty much the whole time.

While I understand that a lot of people are embarrassed and self-conscious about their bodies, it might be worth trying a nude spa. Personally, I find them quite liberating, but that’s probably because people take spa culture very seriously in Germany. The focus really is on HEALTH and WELLNESS, not sexual attraction, shame, or humiliation. It’s one very pragmatic aspect of German culture that I love. In fact, I am way overdue for a visit to our local spa. Almost all of the ones I’ve been to have been beautiful, peaceful, heavenly places. I’ve always left them feeling relaxed and wonderful.

While I might agree that the German girlfriend shouldn’t have bought tickets before talking to her American boyfriend, I also think he should get over himself and give the nude spa a go. He might be surprised by how positive the experience can be… and if it doesn’t turn out that way for him, nothing says he ever has to do it again. I mean, I tried going to a gynecologist and hated the experience, so I don’t go anymore. No harm, no foul. 😉

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Health, Sundays

Bill is all gimpy and grumpy today…

We ended up not going out to dinner last night, because yesterday morning, Bill fell while he was walking Noyzi. He turned his ankle. Then he put on shoes and went to work for a couple of hours, which made the pain and his mobility in the ankle worse.

When Bill got home from work, he was complaining about the pain. So I said that maybe we should just stay in so he could rest his ankle. This week is going to be very busy for him at work, and then on Thursday, he’s going on a TDY assignment that will last until the following weekend. He’ll be working nights, which will be hell for him, because he’s very much a day person whose brain goes down with the sun.

I’ll be sitting at home, probably shopping for more stuff to take on our trip or put in the garden…

I just bought a new hairdryer, not for my hair, but for the freezer. Our kitchen has an old fridge and it has to be defrosted. I decided using a hairdryer was the best way to accomplish that goal, since the fridge can’t be easily unplugged, because it’s built into the wall. And I got a new hairbrush, too, with an olive wood handle and boar hair bristles. It’s taking time to get used to it.

At least it’s sunny and somewhat warm out today. I took Noyzi for a walk and got some pretty new flower pictures for my photo stream. Here are a few for your own amusement. The last three photos are of the creek in our village. I’m glad I can count on my very fastidious neighbors to provide me with some lovely flowers to shoot with my camera. If anything, they’re a reminder that winter is finally over.

Our village is having Maifeuer– a bonfire– tonight in the Mother’s Day Shack on the northern edge of town. They will have sausages and beer on offer, as they light a bonfire, I guess, in honor of Whit Sunday. I might like to attend the event, but Bill says he can’t walk that far… He’s also been feeling guilty about not going to work today. Hello! It’s SUNDAY!!!!

Edited to add: My German friend reminds me that the bonfire wasn’t for Whit Sunday/Monday. It was for Walpurgisnacht… which I had completely forgotten about. You’d think after so many years living here, I wouldn’t forget these holidays. But sometimes, we’re not in town, and we never seem to take part in the festivities. I would have liked to have gone to the bonfire last night, but it was probably better to stay home and drink wine. 😉 Today, there’s a picnic going on, as it’s a holiday in Germany… but not for Americans.

I guess it just goes to show you that some Soldiers never really clock out. Bill is always going to have a “mission first” mentality, much to my occasional annoyance. I do appreciate that he has such a strong work ethic, but sometimes it’s a good thing to realize that the world won’t stop if you take a break and rest up. And given the condition of his ankle, that might be a good idea, because he won’t have the chance next weekend.

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Getting to know my German neighbors… after almost four years!

A couple of weeks ago, our next door neighbor, Uli, told Bill she was going to have a barbecue, and we were invited. At the time she made her invitation, we were thinking we might be going to see our dentist in Stuttgart. But we couldn’t arrange boarding for Arran and Noyzi, so we postponed our dental appointments until later this month. That freed us up to attend last night’s festivities.

I’ll be honest. I was a bit apprehensive about this event. You see, I’m not that great in groups. The older I get, the worse I seem to be. I tend to say more than I should. But Bill is a very friendly, jovial guy, and he wants to be neighborly. Plus, he just brewed some beer, and mentioned it, which automatically excited our hostess. Of course, the beer Bill makes, while very good, is not German style beer. He makes British style ale, mainly because the yeast required for lagers is more fragile than ale style yeast is. But, over the past twelve years or so, he’s gotten better at his craft. Maybe he’ll delve into making lagers eventually. I would like that.

I did tell Bill to go to the commissary and pick up some Bubba Burgers and American style burger buns for Uli. I know she likes them, and I have a feeling the people before us used to pick them up for her on occasion. Bill gave her the burgers and buns and she seemed quite delighted. Personally, I’m more of a fan of handmade burgers with German buns. But if Bubba Burgers help facilitate neighbor relations, I’m all for giving them out sometimes. Uli seemed surprised when we told her we don’t shop at the commissary very often. We prefer German markets.

We had a nice gathering of about twenty people, with plenty of food and libations. There were sausages, salads, a couple of burgers that Bill contributed and I was too full to eat, and breads. There was lots of wine and beer, including a few bottles of Bill’s brews. At the end of the evening, a lovely Italian man who lives across the street brought out a round of espresso and an Italian digestive. He gave Bill some homemade limoncello, too, and said he would teach him how to make it.

Noyzi and Arran complained loudly at first, but then we brought them outside to see what was going on. Arran was over it quickly. Noyzi was feeling friendly, but he still gets freaked out by people he doesn’t know. So after they came out for a few minutes, we brought them back inside. Our neighbor’s lab, Tommi, spent most of the evening being a host. He is adorable.

Our host’s English speaking mother, Margot, was also there. She lives in the house that borders ours on the other side. I have often seen her walking Tommi, but she told us she had to stop, because he’s too strong for her. Last summer, Tommi got away from her while I was walking our dogs. I happened to have an extra leash, because Noyzi was still pretty skittish. Tommi didn’t have a leash, so I was able to give Uli’s mom the extra one so she could capture her pooch. I even wrote about it, because last year, pandemic restrictions made travel blogging more challenging.

Margot said, “Your dogs make so much noise when you go out.”

Without missing a beat, I said, “Luckily, I almost never go out.”

Bill later mentioned that he thought that was a sign of progress. When we first came to Germany and people would remark about my dogs, I would get nervous and offended. I was still a little put off, but then I said, quite reasonably, that they are seldom alone. Moreover, I know they don’t bark the whole time we’re gone, because they’re never still barking when we get home. I don’t think they would necessarily know to shut up when we were driving up to the house. We do keep our outings short, though, precisely for that reason.

Later, Margot said she wanted to talk to me, simply because she says people ignore the elderly. I told her that I would love to talk to her, because I enjoy having conversations with older people. They always have interesting stories to share. She brightened quite a bit, and told us about what it was like in Breckenheim in 1945, when the US Army came in. She said the Germans all had to give up their homes for the soldiers, and her brother wasn’t allowed to live with her and her mom. They somehow got to stay in their house.

Now… consider that 1945 was World War II… and who was in charge at that time. Yes, I would love to talk to her about that era! I think it would be fascinating. And she said she wants to practice her English, which is already good. But she reminded us that if you don’t use it, you lose it. Then she chastised me for not speaking very much German. LOL… But if people want to speak English to me, how can I speak German? I do understand a lot more than I did in 2007, when we moved here the first time… and 2014, when we moved here the second time. However, I am more successful singing in German, than speaking it. 😉 That’s not saying much… although I really can sing quite well. It’s just that I can memorize the lyrics and learn to pronounce them without necessarily knowing what all the words mean, even though we did have to translate the foreign songs when I was studying voice. Margot also told us that she only drinks Grauburgunder wines. She doesn’t even like Rieslings. And beer is out!

Toward the end of the night, I think I kind of horrified Uli, when I told her that we had to sue our ex landlady. Although lawsuits in Germany are pretty common– in fact, I think Germans are more litigious than Americans are– they don’t seem to want to talk about them. Uli is a landlady, too, so this was probably something that made her blood run cold. She probably thinks I’m a little crazy, and I bet she tells our current landlord. But if he says anything about it, we’ll just tell him that he’s nothing at all like the ex landlady. He’s courteous, reasonable, and respectful, and he’s done things legally. Uli was probably just shocked that we knew about legal insurance (and liability insurance and pet liability insurance– all things that Americans really should buy in Germany)… but she shouldn’t be, because we’ve lived here a long time, we’re older, and she knows how much our house rents for. Of course we’d be smart to have legal insurance. We had to pay two month’s rent as a deposit. It was a lot of money.

The topic of suing came up, though, because the neighbor was showing off their kid’s school Tute, for the first day of school. Uli kept talking about how much she hated “suing”. I realized that she meant “sewing”. I was very confused at first! Then I confided that I don’t like sewing, either, even though my mom is a master at needlecrafts. I don’t have the patience or dexterity for it. Another lady talked about how her daughter spent the school year in Michigan, and got to attend the prom and football games. I said, that must have been very interesting for her, given how different American schools are. German schools don’t usually have school sponsored sports teams or big, fancy dances… or, at least that’s what I’ve heard. I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong.

Anyway, we enjoyed hanging out last night, and meeting some of our neighbors. Uli’s new tenants are moving into their place in October. I especially enjoyed the wife, who hails from Böblingen, in Baden-Württemberg. She said that she taught math, and met her husband in Karlsruhe, while they were at the university. She likes Hesse better. She flat out said it, without any prompting. Why? Because people are much friendlier up here. It’s funny, because she’s not the first German, even from Baden-Württemberg, who has mentioned that Swabia is a very “special” part of Germany. But I actually like Baden-Württemberg very much, in spite of the different culture. It was the first part of Germany I really got to know, and it is legitimately a very beautiful place– even if Stuttgart is kind of a homely city. I look forward to going back down there at the end of the month.

Again… I’m not very good in groups. I speak my mind too much, and am not one for small talk. Some people love that about me. Other people hate it, and think I’m an obnoxious freak. And that’s why I have dogs. At least Tommi likes us… the featured photo is of him, knocking on our door. He doesn’t do it often, but when he does, it’s super cute. He also jumped up on Bill and gave him a big smooch, which seemed to horrify Uli. Yes, our dogs bark, but so does hers. And we keep ours on leashes, although we did talk about maybe letting Noyzi and Tommi play sometime. I think they’d love it. If we didn’t turn her off too much, maybe they’ll finally have the opportunity.

Uli says in a few months, we’ll have to share some Gluwein. That is, if the temperatures get low enough to enjoy it. We did get some rain today, which is a great thing. I’m not sure if we’ll venture out today. We were both kind of tired after last night’s festivities. Also… I don’t want my dogs to disturb the peace.

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Where has Limburg been all my life?

First thing’s first. I had no plans to visit the Hessian city of Limburg, Germany today. I went there because I follow Wiesbaden Fest Finders on Facebook, and I run my own “wine and food” group, mostly for Americans in Stuttgart and Wiesbaden. My food and wine Facebook group started in 2017, when Bill and I lived in Stuttgart, and we made a point of trying new restaurants and doing new stuff every weekend. In those days, we had no clue that we’d eventually move to Wiesbaden, and we had even less of a clue that there would be a global pandemic.

In late 2018, when we moved from Stuttgart to Wiesbaden, just about everyone in my Facebook group was based in Stuttgart. It was a pretty active group then. Since I spent six years living there in two different stints, I decided to just tack Wiesbaden onto the name of the group. In 2018, I thought I’d be going to Stuttgart often, if only because that’s where my dentist is. The main difference is, I don’t belong to a bunch of Wiesbaden groups. Living in Stuttgart and dealing with social media drama there made me want to be more under the radar. So I kept the group going, but while I thought I’d be going to Stuttgart more often than I do, that hasn’t happened. Thank COVID for that.

I still have lots of Stuttgart members, and some Wiesbadeners have joined. It’s not a particularly popular group, and frankly, I’ve been thinking about going defunct. But just when I’m about to abandon the group, something exciting happens that makes me keep going. Today was one of those days. Today, we discovered Limburg! And no, it’s not where the infamously stinky cheese comes from; that’s in Belgium.

A whole shitload of wine fests are happening right now in the Rheingau. I posted several of them this morning. The Limburg fest happened to be the first one I shared in my group. I was a little curious about Limburg, because in 2020, when we were trying to adopt a dog from a German rescue, we had a home visit done by a lady who was from Limburg. She said it was about 45 minutes away. She approved us for adopting the dog, but tragically, it didn’t work out for us. But no matter. Now we have Noyzi, the wonder dog from Kosovo.

So anyway… that brings me to this morning, as I was contemplating whether or not I wanted to go out, having just recovered from my first official bout with COVID-19. I finally decided that I did want… and NEED… to get out of the house. Like I wrote before, there were many things going on today. We had our pick. But I decided I wanted to go to Limburg, so that’s where we went. And, I have to say, we had a great time! This was our first time in Limburg, but God willing, it will not be our last. What a cute town! It’s on the Lahn River, and there are so many splendid timbered buildings dating back hundreds of years. The weather was perfect, and when we got there, I was enchanted by the many adorable shops. I even found something I wanted to buy, but decided not to, when I realized how heavy it was.

We stopped at the Leon Gerhard Weingut stall and tried several wines. I would have liked to have tried others, but we were a little pressed for time, thanks to the parking garage. It was one where you prepay, rather than pay when you’re done. Bill’s credit card wouldn’t work, and for once, we were short on spare change. While I didn’t think the cops were gonna bust us for overstaying, Bill was in a hurry… and we did have hungry dogs to consider.

There were a whole bunch of vintners at the Wine Fest, as well as food purveyors. As we were leaving, musicians were setting up for live music. I couldn’t help but feel so grateful to be in Germany now… as my homeland is embroiled in endless political bullshit, Germany is having wonderful festivals, reminding us that sometimes you just need to chill out and enjoy some wine and company. God bless Germany. It will always have a piece of my heart.

As for Limburg, it definitely didn’t stink… again, the infamously smelly cheese, comes from the Limburg area of Belgium, not Germany. So although I will make jokes about stinky cheese and cheesiness, this town isn’t the one affiliated with famously pungent cheese. We’ll be back, because I’m sure they have lots of fests. We were only there for a few hours, but I feel like I got a short vacation, and it was great for my soul. Especially when we visited Limburger Dom, which is a uniquely beautiful cathedral that has its origins in the 9th century.

We did stop for lunch at Werner-Senger Haus, which is a very cute and historic restaurant in a building that dates from the 1200s. We ate in their garden, which was up a couple of flights of stairs, or accessible from a gate on the other side of the restaurant. It was hot, so we drank Weizens, and I had a Wildschwein Burger, while Bill had Wildschwein Bratwurst with Pfifferlingen mushrooms. The food was good, and there was plenty of it, although it was a bit messy! Both dishes came with a Preiselbeer sauce that was a bit heavily applied on my burger, which was “molded” rather than hand shaped. But it tasted okay, even if it was a little rarer than I like it.

As we were leaving Werner-Senger Haus, I noticed a portrait on the wall near the door. I thought maybe it was Werner Senger, but my German friend was kind enough to edify me with the startling truth. Apparently, the man in the portrait is the Schinderhannes, Johannes Bückler. The restaurant is in the house where he was brought after he was captured. Wikipedia tells me that Johannes Bückler was an outlaw and thief who lived from 1778 until November 21, 1803, when he was guillotined in nearby Mainz. Bückler was famous for organizing one of the biggest crime sprees in German history, so we were dining on true historic ground! I did marvel more than once that I thought the restaurant was really cool looking, but now I know it’s very historic, too.

I might have preferred street food at the fest, but I needed to pee, and as we walked through there, the public WCs weren’t quite open for business. They were when we came back an hour or so later. Our bill at the restaurant was about 49 euros. I would like to go back, if only because it really was such a unique and historic building, just as so many others in that town are. I felt like I got a half day vacation!

Below are some photos…

The troublesome parking meter.
A decoration in a roundabout, where we witnessed some guy getting yelled at.
First wine stall.
Last of the Saturday market.
The WC wasn’t open when I needed it.
Cute cows!
It reminded us of Tubingen.

Everybody was out!
So many cute, historic buildings.
Fisch!!!
Picture framing. My dad would be proud. The building in hundreds of years old!
CUTE and historic Werner-Senger Haus Restaurant.
Werner Senger Haus entrance to garden.

Fun with selfies.
New makeup.
Bill’s Wildschwein wieners.
And my burger. It was messy and a little rare.
Cool restaurant.
Must be Werner Senger. ETA: My German friend says no… 😉
I loved the rum drinking creature. I wanted to take it home, but didn’t want to carry it.
Marionettes
Art!
We need to come back and explore.
The other side of the restaurant.
Limburger Dom
A view of the city.
It was someone’s wedding day.
This cathedral dates from the 9th century.
The interior is beautiful and peaceful.
Love the organ.
Soft chants were playing.
Someone’s home and business.
Back to the wine fest!
More fun with selfies. He makes me happy.
Dog parade.
Generous pours!
Drunk people. People were laughing at them. Glad it wasn’t me.
Not bad for our 50s.
Limburg, you definitely weren’t cheesy, nor were you stinky…

We had a great time today. I am sure we’ll be back to Limburg. It’s a very nice town, and I’ll bet they have some great fests. And once again, I am so glad to be living in Germany. I don’t know how long we’ll be here, but today was a reminder to enjoy and learn from every moment. Today was a treat, and I hope we can get back into enjoying them more often. At least until COVID gets bad again.

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I really like this about Germany…

It’s a chilly Saturday, here in Germany. It’s also a holiday weekend. We don’t have any special plans for today, other than to receive wine we ordered last weekend at the wine fest. So I thought maybe today, I’d write about something I’ve noticed and really appreciate about living in Germany. Below is a photo that was shared in a local Facebook group. Someone had seen this solution in a Swabian town– maybe down near Stuttgart– and wondered if it would be a good idea for up here in Hesse.

This keeps the pizza boxes out of the trash cans, so they don’t fill up so fast.

I noticed a few people were a little snarky. One person said this was not a good idea, since people shouldn’t be eating so much pizza. Another said they thought this was “stupid”, since it seemed like overkill for what shouldn’t be a problem. But a couple of people wrote that they thought this was a good idea, and even went as far to do some rudimentary research into how this could be accomplished. Below are their translated comments.

Hmm: The way it looks, this is made of weatherproof sieve pressure plates, only the cutting edges have to be sealed. I see stainless steel screws wouldn’t be a problem now either. If they sponsor the material, I can build a few for free.

Another person wrote: the pizzerias could also sponsor…

I was at Globus today and investigated the material costs: a box would cost around €100. So the idea is feasible As far as regulations, regulations, assessments, TÜV and other rules are concerned, of course I have no plan.

Someone else wrote that this is already a thing in the Allgau area, and it works well. Quite a few people were very positive in their remarks, and thanked the original poster for the suggestion. And, much to my amazement, people were actually coming together to see how they could make this idea come to fruition. Yes, there were a couple of American styled cynical comments that were sort of rude and dismissive, but for the most part, people seemed optimistic and wanting to make something nice for the community.

Last week, I shared the photos of the repurposed gumball machines that now sell “bee bombs”, so people can improve their gardens and give the bees something good to eat. That’s a good thing for everyone, and it keeps retired gumball machines out of the trash.

Nice idea!

I also like that here in Germany, people aren’t allowed to run amok with weapons. I feel a lot safer here, because fewer people are armed and dangerous, and it’s a lot less likely that some nut is going to shred my vital organs with ammunition fired from their “sexy” AR-15 rifles that they can buy with ease at any gun dealer. Here, to have a weapon for hunting and fishing, you have to prove you’re sane and know how to use the weapon safely. And you can’t just get whatever gun you want, either.

It’s true that some laws in Germany seem a little ridiculous… like the one that forbids people to flip off drivers on the Autobahn, or the laws that can make someone liable if, for instance, they illegally use pepper spray intended for an animal on a person who is attacking them. Bill recently told me about a guy who needed legal help because he got charged with hit and run for running into a guy who was trying to steal his car. I have also heard about people getting in legal trouble for hurting people who were committing crimes, though that could be anecdotal. And yes, I have also heard horror stories about people buying homes and not being able to evict the previous owners until they are ready to move. It seems that self-defense is less of a thing here. At least that’s how it seems, based on some of the anecdotes I’ve heard.

By and large, Germany is a very nice place to live. The more I see what’s going on at home, the more grateful I am that we live over here. And that gives me an interesting perspective, particularly when it comes to immigration issues in the United States. I am often impressed by the sense of community here. I wish there was more of it back home. I’m tired of seeing how polarized people are… and the collective, “I’ve got mine, so screw you” attitude so many people seem to have. On the other hand, although I understand why some people get frustrated and react with self-righteous indignation when they butt heads with someone on the other side of an issue, I don’t think self-righteous indignation is helpful in reaching compromises or inspiring cooperation.

Anyway… I like that they discuss things like making pizza box slots to help keep the trash cans from overflowing. It’s nicer to see those discussions, than contentious discussions about gun rights and abortion. It also helps that Germany is clean, safe, and beautiful, and has educated people who have basic decency and compassion for others. I admire the Germans. They’ve done a lot of growing. I wish more Americans would.

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Word of advice… don’t call a German cop a “fascist”…

It’s another cold, grey, drizzly weekend in Germany. Christmas will arrive next weekend. I suppose I should be more into the spirit of celebrating the season, but I just can’t seem to find my mojo. I don’t really like going out in yucky weather even when there isn’t a pandemic. The spiking COVID numbers aren’t inspiring me to get out there and mingle with the masses.

But not everyone feels the way I do. My German friend, Susanne, shared with me some news out of Reutlingen. It seems there was a riot/protest there last night, consisting of Nazi sympathizers and COVID deniers, most of whom weren’t masked and ignored the rules against congregating. Things got pretty out of hand in some places, so the Stuttgart police showed up to maintain order.

Germans are usually pretty tolerant of peaceful protests and strikes. They’re usually scheduled ahead of time and announced, so people can choose not to be involved… or, if they’re into it, they can participate or observe. I believe one has to get a permit to protest legally. I have no idea if this group followed the rules. The protests I’ve seen are usually pretty chill… afterwards, everybody breaks up and has a beer or something. But every once in awhile, people do get their hackles up. Such was the case last night.

This video was shared on Facebook by Matthias Kipfer in the public group, 99,99 % (Filder) vs. R.E.S.T.. I’m not sure where this particular incident involving the man screaming about fascists took place. It might not have happened in Reutlingen, although I can see by the photos and videos in the group, there was plenty of action there last night. I see the guy screaming about fascists was originally posted on Twitter by Stadtrand Aktion. As you can see, the cops weren’t amused. This guy was promptly arrested. I suspect he will get a nice big fine, as outlined in the trusty 2022 Bussgeldkatalog. Edited to add: Susanne thinks the fascist cop incident might have happened in Berlin, since the cop has a B on his uniform.

More than once, I have written about how insulting people is illegal in Germany. It’s especially true that insulting the cops is a big no no. All I can think is that this guy took complete leave of his senses, forgot to whom he was speaking, and lost total control of himself. I know how that feels. It happened to me a time or two when I was a teenager. This fellow looks to be well beyond the teen years.

I think it’s funny that there’s a catalog of fines people can consult to find out about laws and fines. I especially get a kick out of the section on the fines for insulting people in traffic. When they are translated into English, they are both hilarious and nonsensical. Below is the list of fines as of 2022.

Some of these insults seem to have lost a little in their translations.

In all seriousness, these protests were pretty bad. Apparently, some people were using children as human shields against the water cannons cops tried to use to disperse the agitated crowds. I was impressed by how the cops managed to keep their cool. German police officers don’t seem to be as violent as American police officers often are. But then, they probably pay better and offer more training.

My German still sucks, but I do find myself picking up words and understanding more, especially when my friend shares interesting German articles with me that include juicy tidbits about current events. If I have gained anything from the past seven years, besides a massive beer gut, it’s a rudimentary understanding of basic German. My Armenian is still better, though. That isn’t saying much.

The above photo basically translates to “People who think vaccinations change their DNA should consider it an opportunity.” Who says Germans aren’t sharp witted? Not I!

In other news… I hope the new blog design is welcomed by the few regular readers who have been keeping up with me during these COVID times. I decided to play around with it a few days ago, and when I went to change it back to the theme I was using, I discovered that the “wandering” theme was retired. So now I have a new but similar theme, and a new color scheme. I think it’s easier to read.

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Humor

Buying German food products for the “yuks”…

That’s right. “Yuks”. As in, laughing your ass off. I think we could all could use some more “yuks”, right?

Yesterday, while I was binge watching murder porn on Snapped, Bill came into our bedroom with a shelf stable container of oat milk. He likes to use animal free products sometimes because he’s a healthier person than I am on many levels. He said he bought the oat milk because of the label. Behold…

No bullshit! It’s “fucking good Oatmilk”.

Bill and I have both noticed that while Germany has rules against “Beleidigung“, that is, insulting people (especially people in authority like cops and politicians), they have no compunction about using English swear words in everyday language. For instance, one can be listening to an American pop song on the radio and if there are f bombs in it, you will hear them in all of their profane glory. Same thing with announcers on the radio, who regularly refer to “shitstorms”.

Personally, I’m alright with the profanity. I’m not a big believer in “bad words”, anyway. I really don’t think there is such a thing. Every word, in my opinion, is neutral. It’s the intent behind them that makes saying them good or bad. For instance, as a former English major at Longwood University, I took courses in African-American literature and Women’s literature. Both courses included slave narratives in which a certain taboo racist epithet was used repeatedly.

Was I offended? No, not really. That word was part of the lexicon at the time and the books would have lost their power without them. I was offended by the brutality of the way slaves were treated in those stories and the fact that their true stories are a shameful part of history. But the use of the n-word in those books is necessary. Same as it’s necessary in certain musical pieces, like Stevie Wonder’s “Living for the City”, and even in certain 70s and 80s era sitcoms, in which racism was a topic that was tackled. The word is used to convey the extent of the contempt and racism of those times. Taking it out would lessen the impact of the pieces.

Because of that– and because I love language and all its quirks– I don’t believe in “bad words”. I don’t think they should be used as weapons. I think people should be judicious in how they use their language. But I’m not a fan of “banning” any specific words… and, as we can see from the above label, even “bad” words can mean different things to different people. I know many Americans who would blush seven shades of red at simply reading that label. They sure as hell wouldn’t have bought the product! But my husband bought it because of the words “fucking” and “bullshit”. He knew that I would get a big kick out of them.

The words “fucking” and “bullshit” don’t have the same impact in Germany as they do in America, just like the words “cunt” and “fag” don’t mean the same to Brits as they do to us Yanks. Hell, until very recently, there was an old village in Austria called Fucking. I should know, because Bill and I visited. We also visited Fuckersberg, Austria, because we’re nerds like that. Fucking recently changed its name after hundreds of years of being known as “Fucking”. Why? Because Americans kept stealing their road signs and doing things like having sex under the the signs. What a shame. Typical Americans ruining things for everybody.

Sigh… I really miss traveling. I look forward to the day when I can write a post on my travel blog that is actually about travel. But, for now, I will continue to get a big kick out of “fucking good Oatmilk” that makes “sexy Milchkaffee”. Except I don’t think I could bring myself to try oat milk… so maybe not. Bill is calling me to breakfast, so off I pop. Have a great Valentine’s Day!

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anecdotes

Life is standing still…

Obviously, since we’re locked down, Bill and I aren’t traveling or eating in restaurants right now. But I did want to share this funny video a German friend posted on Facebook. It’s done by a group called Bohemian Browser Ballett, and it’s basically about the importance of being considerate while grocery shopping, and not “Hamsterkaufing”…

If you watch it on Facebook without clicking, you can read the subtitles in English. Otherwise, it’s in German. But I think you’ll get the gist of it by watching even if you don’t speak German.

Hee hee hee!

Who says Germans don’t have a sense of humor? After watching this video, I certainly don’t.

Hopefully, I’ll have more things to write about soon. This virus is really cramping everyone’s style. I continue to update the old posts so they’re readable, so I encourage anyone who actually misses my content to give them a second (or first) look. We hope to be back on the travel/food trail soon.

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Uncategorized

Things aren’t bad in Baden-Baden… Part five

Sunday was the day we’d been waiting for.  It was the day we planned to brave the Friedrichsbad, well known around the world for being an old fashioned Roman-Irish bath.  I remember when I first heard of the Friedrichsbad bath.  It was back in 2015, when I wrote about how, in France, men have to wear Speedos at public swimming pools.  In that post, I mentioned that my husband, Bill, would not want to wear Speedos for anything, but I was working on getting him to consent to a visit at the Friedrichsbad in Baden-Baden.  At that time, I was also a bit leery of being naked in front of strangers.

Well… as of June of 2017, Bill and I both took the naked plunge for the first time when we visited Palais Thermal in Bad Wildbad, which is a mostly nude spa.  Since that bold day in early June, we’ve done the naked thing a few more times at the Schwabenquellen in Stuttgart, and at Böblingen’s own Mineraltherme.  The Schwabenquellen is all nude except on certain days and/or at certain times.  The Mineraltherme is nude in the saunagarten on the bottom floor, which has a pool area.  Frankly, having now seen the Mineraltherme’s whole complex, I think not going to the saunagarten is a waste.  There’s a whole lot more to do in the nude area.

The Friedrichsbad is different, though.  It’s not really like the other nude spas we’ve been to.  For one thing, it’s a very old bathhouse and looks it.  It was opened in 1877 and does not have any of the new fangled finery of the other spas.  Hell, it doesn’t even have 1980s era finery.  This is an old school spa.  However, of all of the spas we’ve done, I like it the most.

We decided to do the Friedrichsbad before we tried neighboring Caracalla because I knew Caracalla was going to be like the other places we’ve been.  Also, I had a feeling that the Friedrichsbad was an experience best had first thing in the morning… and also, we happened to be out for breakfast without our towels or bathing suits and we didn’t feel like going back to the room to fetch them.  There is no need to bring a bathing suit or a towel to the Friedrichsbad.  They provide everything, even shower gel.

We had walked into the downtown area in search of an economical breakfast and found one at the assembly line like bakery called Peters am Leo.  This place was doing quite a brisk business when we arrived at about 9:00am.

Very cheerful and busy!

 

We noticed they had a breakfast deal for two people priced at 19,95 euros, so we went for that.  It was a lot of food… more than we needed.

We got fresh fruit, some kind of “vanilla mousse” with raspberry, butter, and jam…

Scrambled eggs with bacon mixed in, cold cuts, cheese, and a big basket of bread, hot drinks (I had hot chocolate and Bill had coffee), and a choice of either Sekt or orange juice.  We had orange juice. We couldn’t finish everything.

 

Coffee!

I was treated to a nice view of the action.

 

I started to enjoy breakfast until I suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of someone gearing up to spit.  I glanced over at the table catty cornered to ours just in time to see the guy who was sitting there spit into his plate.  It really grossed me out, which seems strange, since I have neither a filter nor an appreciation for the concept of TMI.  Fortunately, the guy got up and left, but not without leaving part of his breakfast on the table.

I was eager to forget about the “loogie hocking” guy, so we made our way to the old bathhouse.  When we entered at about 10:00am, things were pretty quiet.  A pleasant and very laid back looking black lady was sitting at the admissions booth.  She would later help us when we decided to visit the Caracalla spa next door.  I think she recognized us, too.

The famous baths on a sunny Sunday morning.  I think that may be a great time to go to the baths.  It wasn’t very busy when we arrived, but business was picking up as we left.

Anyway, when we met her the first time, she greeted us kindly in English and was patient as we ordered the luxury plus package.  Priced at 59 euros per person, this is the most “luxurious” of the packages.  It includes soap and brush massage, a cream massage, a meal, and a drink at the spa restaurant in the Caracalla.  If I’d had more time to read up, I would have gone for the luxury ticket, which eschewed the meal.  It turns out the meal and drink offered at the spa restaurant are limited to salads and pasta.  Also, I would have rather eaten somewhere else.  Leave it to me to go for the most expensive deal.

The luxury and luxury plus tickets allow up to four hours in the baths.  We didn’t need that long to go through the whole experience, but it’s nice to know we could have stayed longer if we’d wanted to.  Those who don’t want the whole experience can opt for a basic ticket, which doesn’t include soap or cream massages or the wellness ticket, which leaves out the cream massage.  Each progressive step in inclusiveness adds another ten euros to the cost.  We paid 118 euros.  Credit cards are accepted.

Once we paid our admission, the lady gave us waterproof wristwatches… the same kind we’ve gotten at every German spa we’ve ever attended.  Sunday happened to be a “mixed” day, which meant men and women were coming from both sides of the spa.  Some days, the sexes are split.  Women go to the right and men go to the left.  I wanted to experience the baths with Bill at my side, so we chose the mixed day.

Here goes…

After we found lockers, we grabbed the sheets that were left inside, got completely naked in changing rooms (which now seems ridiculous under the circumstances), and were beckoned into the baths by a bunch of very brawny looking men in white uniforms.  I soon realized that the other side of the spa was staffed with similarly attired women.

The men, a couple of whom spoke English, directed us to get shower shoes and then take showers under the old style open bay showers.  They had big levers that controlled the water temperature in a rather crude way.  It kind of reminded me of a prison shower, not that I have any experience with prisons, mind you.  It’s just that it was very crude and not private at all.  And though we had entered the baths covered with a sheet, that lasted maybe a minute before they were taken away.

The shower shoes, at least on the men’s side, were huge and way too big for my feet.  But I only wore them for a short while, as we sat in a warm room for ten minutes, then a hotter room for five.  The shoes were necessary because the floor is very hot and will burn your feet if you walk in there unshod.

After we sat in the hot rooms, we took another shower, then were summoned for the soap and scrubbing, and a massage.  Bill’s therapist was a big German guy who spoke English.  I got a burly Russian man whose German seemed rather elementary– or, I’m going to assume he was Russian.  He could have been Bulgarian, Polish, or Ukrainian, for all I know.  I don’t think he was German, though.

He invited me to lie face up on the table as he scrubbed my body with soap and a scrub brush, rinsed, then had me roll over so he could do the other side.  Then, he gave me a vigorous massage that made a couple of joints crack audibly.  It was a rather surreal experience… almost clinical, yet kind of primal, too.

There I was, naked as the day I was born, lying totally exposed on a table with bright lighting shining down on my bare body, as if I were in a hospital.  And yet, despite decades of feeling ashamed of my body, I didn’t really care that much.  I mean, the staff sees all kinds of people day in and day out.  They were totally professional, and it’s not even like I was the biggest and ugliest person there.  Besides, after a few minutes, the nudity thing doesn’t really matter at all.  Everybody’s naked, and I think most people just stop noticing.

After our enthusiastic massages were finished, we went into the first of two steam rooms.  The first room was kind of warm and smelled heavily of sulfur.  We were in there for ten minutes, sitting on “butt pads”.  Then we went to a warmer steam room for five minutes.  I looked to my right and noticed the very old equipment that was making the steam from Baden-Baden’s ancient thermal springs.  After another shower, we went to station 9, which was the first pool.  It was nice and warm and very tranquil as we soaked for ten minutes.  That was really what I had been waiting for the whole time.  It was heavenly and extremely relaxing.

Next came a short time in a shallow pool that bubbled.  We sat there until it was time to hit station 11, which is the beautiful round pool that is featured in all of Friedrichsbad’s literature.  What I didn’t know was that the water in that beautiful pool is very cold!  We did our five minutes there, then went to the other side of the pool.  This was where things went a little awry.

Unbeknownst to us at the time, we were supposed to stay on the side we came in on.  When we went to the pool on the other side of the round pool, we ended up on the wrong side of the baths.  This is only a big deal because we needed to be on the side where we entered in order to access our lockers.  When we got to the end of the line, which included more showers and a dip in an ice cold pool, a female staffer turned us around.  I now realize that if we’d done the last part on the female side, we would have had to somehow get to the other side while naked.  Either way, we had to backtrack or else flash everyone in the public part of the building.

So, we turned around and walked back through the stations until we got to the men’s side.  We were greeted by the same big dudes with big hands, who wrapped us in warm towels and invited us to wait for the cream massage.  The same Russian guy who did my soap scrubbing took me to a private room, while Bill got a different German guy.  The Russian guy expertly rubbed herbal smelling cream all over my naked body.  Once again, I was strangely uninhibited.  He was very much an expert.  I left his care with skin like a newborn baby’s as he directed us to drink tea in the “reading room”.

Actually, we were supposed to go “sleep” for thirty minutes in the sleeping room, but to be honest, I was alright with skipping that part.  I doubt I would have slept, anyway.  Besides, it was just nice to relax on the lounger in the “reading room” with unsweetened hot tea and Bill at my side.  It was a very restful experience for me, although I will admit that it’s not for everyone.  I know many people would prefer not to bare their bodies to the world.  But, I have to say… now that I’ve gotten into nudity, it doesn’t really faze me at all anymore.  In fact, I find it quite liberating.  Maybe I’m more German than 23andMe says I am.

When we were finished relaxing at the Friedrichsbad, we went back to the locker room, got dressed, and went back to the hotel.  After a short break there, we packed up day bags with swimsuits, towels, and robes.  I wasn’t going to leave Baden-Baden without trying both of its best known spas.  Also, because we got the Luxury Plus ticket, we were owed a meal at the Caracalla spa.

The guy at the spa restaurant who waited on us was quite the smooth talker.  I noticed he was easily mingling in French, German, English, and even a little bit of Russian.  I was a little cranky because most of their beer was non-alcoholic.  In the restaurant, they do have wine and one “real” beer.  I ended up with a non-alcoholic hefeweizen, which wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great.  I also got a Coke because it came with our coupons.

I somehow ended up with a side of duck, which wasn’t covered by the coupon.  At least it tasted good.

Bill had a chef’s salad.

I had a “fruity” salad, which was made with shrimps, mangoes, cherry tomatoes, onions, and greens.  The bread was excellent.  It was soft and not too crusty.

 

After lunch, we tried the Caracalla Spa… and, I gotta say, I was much less impressed with it than any of the other spas I’ve been to.  First off, it was very crowded yesterday.  It’s also been around awhile, as evidenced by how everything looked.  The tiles were all faded and somewhat discolored.  The water looked a little bit cloudy.  I guess I’m used to the Mineraltherme, which was just extensively refurbished last year.

They were repairing the “blue grotto”, which probably would have been packed with people, anyway.  The only thing I really liked about the Caracalla Spa was this really cool current alley in one of the outdoor pools.  It was almost like shooting the rapids as it propelled spa-goers down a pass.  But we had to be careful not to be shot into someone standing on the side of the pool.  I think some people were oblivious to the danger of careening bodies in the strong currents.

As crowded as the Mineraltherme gets sometimes, at least their snack bars have wine and beer and really good food.  The one thing the Caracalla had that the Mineraltherme didn’t was fresh squeezed juices, which were admittedly delicious.  Bill and I tried their orange juice, which was nice after a couple of sauna sessions.  Other than that, I was not all that impressed with Caracalla.  I would much rather visit the Friedrichsbad again.  The Caracalla also has a saunagarten that costs extra, but it doesn’t have a nude pool.  Instead, there are a bunch of saunas and one whirlpool that was packed the whole time.  It wasn’t very relaxing at all.  We paid for three hours and left about halfway through.

When we were finished at the Caracalla Spa, we walked back to the hotel and I took a shower.  We enjoyed a rest after our big day of relaxing baths.  Actually, I was surprised by how tired I was after hitting two spas in one day.  As the sun went down, I told Bill that I wanted to have dinner somewhere, so we wouldn’t end up sitting around drinking wine.  We decided to try Rizzi & Co., which is a wine bar very close to the hotel.  I was glad to try it, because I had been eyeing the menu the whole time we were in town.  We were also lucky because they happened to have one two top open for us.  The next couple who showed up without a reservation was out of luck.

The menu looked good.

Obligatory menu shot of Bill…  We weren’t very hungry, so we went with something fairly light.

I had salmon filet with broccoli and a maple glaze.  I enjoyed the salmon, but especially liked the broccoli, which was really more like broccolini.  It was surprisingly tasty.  

Bill had rare tuna, served with chopsticks, soy sauce, and wasabi.  It was just the right size.  Naturally, we also enjoyed a very nice red wine.

The bar area was pretty cool, although they were playing dance music that made us feel ancient.  I think a lot of Russians frequent Rizzi & Co.  It looks like it caters to the young and hip.

For dessert, I had Le Colonel, which is lemon sorbet with a shot of vodka poured over it.

 

And Bill had vanilla mousse, which was covered with mangoes… I thought it looked like cream of corn soup!

It’s a very hip place.

Since we were told we had 90 minutes, we were quick about eating dinner.  I was ready to go to bed, anyway.  I think we were both out cold before 9:30pm.  In fact, I remember waking from a sound sleep at just past eleven for a potty break.  It’s exhausting trying to relax.  When we got back to the hotel, one of the receptionists said, “Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Crossen.”  That really blew Bill’s mind.  It’s something when the staff at a big hotel remembers your name.  It happened a few times during our visit.  I think it’s the hallmark of superb service.

This morning, we decided to have breakfast at the hotel.  We went back to the breakfast room and loaded up at the buffet and enjoyed the excellent coffee.  I was thinking maybe we wouldn’t have eggs again, but a very charming German gent, whose name was Friedrich and had probably worked there for awhile, charmed us into having scrambled eggs.  He indulged Bill’s German and also greeted him by name, without any prompting.  Maybe we were easy to remember since I don’t think there were too many Americans there during our visit.  We also had a shot of espresso for the road.

When it came time to check out, we were warmly welcomed by the same chap who had checked us in.  He was delighted when we gushed about our weekend and invited me to sign up for their email service/newsletter, which is free of charge and entitles us to perks like free breakfast (which is well worth it).  Since we’re moving to Wiesbaden and Wiesbaden isn’t all that far from Baden-Baden, I could see us coming back to Brenners Park, even if it is super expensive.  We really enjoyed ourselves and the service is absolutely top notch.  Of course, I’m not sure how we’re going to downgrade from a junior suite.  They’re probably counting on that!

I wondered what this was.  Bill showed me that it’s a coat rack.

Perfect scrambled eggs.  Better than the eggs at the bakery yesterday… and no one hocked a loogie.

This is Brenner Park’s resident cat, Kleopatra.  I never saw her, but we did see evidence of her presence.  Evidently, she eats on the second floor of the hotel, which is where we were staying.  Her food bowl and water were neatly laid out in the hall.

 

I think all told, we spent about 3.000 euros.  That included a couple of nights in the bar, a couple of breakfasts for two, two spa treatments, and parking for four days.  And yet, even though that’s a lot of money for us, we were both smiling as we got into the car to go home.  The hotel staff had kindly provided us with a small bag that included waters and snacks for our drive.  It was the kind of service Bill and I have experienced on luxury cruise lines, notably Hebridean Island Cruises, which costs a mint but offers stellar service.  If you’re interested in my Hebridean experiences, you can easily read about them in this blog.  We have sailed with them four times– in 2012 (back to back cruises, and written about on my main blog), 2016 (whisky cruise), and 2017 (Scotland and Northern Ireland).

A shot of the countryside on the way home.  This isn’t far from Seewald, which is not far from where we are living until next Tuesday.  Then, it’s off to Wiesbaden.

Anyway… so ends our very ritzy trip to nearby Baden-Baden.  We had a great time!  If we manage to make it back there, we will have to make a point of seeing and doing more in the area, which surely offers more than spas and shopping!  But then, Wiesbaden is a lot like a more cosmopolitan Baden-Baden.  So we’ll see…

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German lifestyle

An insider’s guide to German grocery stores…

I’ve had the idea to write this post for… I don’t know… three years, maybe?  I actually remember when I got this idea.  I was in the city of Calw and Bill and I were at a Kaufland.  I started thinking of all the grocery stores on the economy where a non-German might find themselves shopping.  I thought to myself, “It might be useful to have a guide to some of these stores…”  But at that time, I didn’t have quite enough experience to write the post and it got pushed to the back burner as I toured beer spas and wrote restaurant reviews.

In about 24 days, Bill and I will be moving to Wiesbaden.  It will technically be our third German tour together, and his fourth in total (he was in Bavaria in the 80s, when he was a young lieutenant).  I’ve seen a lot of German grocery stores now.  Since today I was too lazy to do anything (because November is going to be a very hectic month), I’ve decided that today’s post will be about grocery stores, at least here in the Stuttgart area.

Here’s my usual disclaimer.  This post is more or less meant for newcomers.  It will consist of basic information, and does not represent all of the stores where you could be shopping.  I am posting this with the hope that readers will use German supermarkets over the commissary.  You will find that the food quality is mostly better and the cost of food is generally less expensive.  We do use the commissary for convenience and when we want items that are strictly American.  When we lived in Germany the first time, I will admit that we used the commissary more than we did our awesome local supermarket.  This time, we shop a lot more on the economy and are better off for it.

First thing’s first.  Grocery shopping in Germany is somewhat different than it is in the United States. When you shop at a German market, you either need to bring your own bags or buy bags at the store. Bill and I use RedOxx market tote bags.  I like the RedOxx bags because they are very sturdy, made in the USA (Montana, to be exact), have a lifetime guarantee, and the business is owned by a veteran.  They also sell their bags in a dozen pretty colors and will ship to APO.  We also have a bunch of their other bags, too.  Bill likes them because their design is very military and they are extremely well made.

Of course, you don’t need to use fancy bags.  The cheap, reusable bags you can get at the commissary will also do the trick quite nicely.  You will also have to do your own bagging, so after your stuff is rung up, prepare to pack your stuff.  If you do need to buy a bag, the German word is “Tüte” (tooti).

Grocery stores in Germany don’t sell medications.  If you want to buy over-the-counter drugs, you will need to visit an Apotheke (drug store).  You will often, but not always, find Apothekes near grocery stores.

In German grocery stores, you can find things like shampoo, soap, toilet paper, and detergents.  In some stores you can also find housewares, electronics, clothing, toys, and in many places, you can buy booze.  Germany also has “drink markets”, which sell all kinds of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, as well as a limited array of shelf stable groceries and other goods.

When you buy produce, in some stores you may have to weigh it and get a price tag sticker, which you’ll put on your produce so it can be scanned.  The commissary has a similar system, so you’ll get used to it quickly.

Grocery stores in Germany are mostly closed on Sundays, with a few exceptions.  In the Stuttgart area, the Edeka supermarket at the airport is open on Sunday.  Although dogs are welcome in a lot of places, including restaurants, you can’t bring your dog to the grocery store.  And, at many stores, you will need to use a euro coin to get a cart from the cart corral.  They are chained together.  When you return your cart to its proper place, you get your euro back.  If you have ever shopped at Aldi in the United States, you know of what I write.

Many grocery stores have areas where you can drop off your empty bottles.  If your store has a drink market, you can bring back the plastic bottles and crates of glass bottles (say, a case of beer), feed them into the handy machine, and it will spit out a receipt, which you can present to the cashier and get money off your order.  Speaking of cashiers… do not be surprised, especially here in Swabia, if the person ahead of you counts out exact change, even if it holds you up.  More than once, Bill and I have been behind someone who pays for groceries with a lot of coins.  Remember that in Germany, some coins are worth more than two dollars!  Be patient.  Others will be patient for you.  Also, some stores have shopper’s cards you can collect stamps on and redeem.  Frankly, I never bother with them, but some people do.  Don’t be surprised if the cashier asks you if you want one.

Also, a lot of stores will have restaurants or snack bars within them.  In fact, even some hardware stores have food available.  Our local Toom (hardware big box store) has a snackbar, of all things.  Shopping in Germany is very civilized.  Many stores also have restrooms and most don’t have a Klofrau looking for change, although that’s not always the case.

You might even find a CoinStar at your local store.  Our Real now has a CoinStar, which I think appeared somewhat recently.  After you’ve been here awhile and have collected a huge trove of coins, you’ll see how awesome that is!  My husband’s first boss dumped his collection of coins on Bill and his co-workers before he left, with the direction that they should all go out to dinner.  Someone took the time to count the coins and it added up to over 800 euros.  Bill and his former co-workers had dinner, including family members, and only spent 500 euros!  There’s still 300 euros left to use!  You will collect a lot of coins while you’re here!

Okay… now here’s a very brief guide.

General grocery stores– hypermarkets

Edeka–  I’ll start with Edeka, which is a very well-known German grocery store chain.  Many towns have an Edeka, and they are pretty much my favorite of all the usual German grocery chains.  It’s kind of a posh market, very clean, with really nice lighting and high quality products.  As of 2017, Edeka is Germany’s largest grocery store chain and holds a market share of 20.3%.  Chances are, your town has an Edeka.  If it doesn’t, chances are the next town has one.  We live in Unterjettingen and there is no Edeka in our town, but there are in Herrenberg and Nagold, both of which are less than a few miles away.  Frankly, of all of the grocery stores in Germany, Edeka is my pick.  It has everything I love about a grocery store.

Real in Jettingen.

Real– Jettingen does have a Real, which is a “hypermarket”.  Real is basically Germany’s version of Walmart.  Indeed, Real stores were originally Walmarts before Walmart was driven out of Germany.  I don’t know for certain, but I think Walmart didn’t survive here because Walmart is famously anti-union and Germans weren’t down with that.  Anyway, Real operates a number of stores in Germany and they’re a lot like Walmart, minus over the counter drugs.  You can find almost anything there, but I hate going in there because it’s usually very crowded and hectic and I experience sensory overload with every visit.  Still, lots of people love their Real, and I will admit we shop there often.  Parking at our Jettingen store is free, which is more than I can say for the Edeka in either Nagold or Herrenberg (but some Edekas do have free parking).

Kaufland– Germany’s fourth largest grocery store chain is Kaufland, which was founded in Germany back in 1984.  Kaufland now operates almost 1,300 stores in seven countries across Europe.  It reminds me a lot of Real, only with a slightly more upscale look and nicer lighting.  You will find groceries there, but you can also find housewares, electronics, and clothing.  Many locations also have drink markets.

REWE– REWE is a Cologne based grocery store chain with locations around Germany.  To be honest, I haven’t spent a lot of time shopping at REWE, but our new home has one very nearby.  There are also several locations in the Stuttgart area.  The last REWE I visited was in Wiesbaden and it reminded me a bit of Edeka, only with harsher lighting.

The actual experience of shopping at any of these grocery stores is very similar.  You typically enter through a “gate” and you have to pass through a cashier stand to exit, even if you don’t buy anything.

Discount grocery stores–

Aldi– A lot of Americans know about Aldi, because Aldi is slowly infiltrating U.S. culture.  If you’ve shopped at an American Aldi, you are probably already familiar with having to use a quarter to get a cart.  You also know that this store is no frills and has low prices.  Our town has an Aldi, but I don’t go in there very often.  It has basic stuff– frozen foods, bakery items, some beverages, ice cream, and some non food items.  It’s the kind of place you go when you need to pick up a few items.  Actually, according to Wikipedia, Aldi is Germany’s largest wine retailer.  Who knew?

Lidl– Lidl is another discount store that is slowly gaining a footprint in the American market.  Like Aldi, Lidl is very no frills, but it does have an interesting line of “American” products, which I blogged about last year.  I wouldn’t necessarily recommend the Lidl versions of American products unless you need a laugh.  However, given a choice between Aldi and Lidl, I think I’d choose Lidl, mainly because the stores seem newer and cleaner to me.

A city version of Netto.

Netto– Another discount market.  Every Netto I’ve been in has been small and no frills, with an emphasis on frozen foods, a small array of beverages, and bakery products.

Penny Markt– Again, no frills supermarket.  Emphasis on frozen food, candy, ice cream, and low prices.

Specialty markets–

Denn’s Biomarkt…

Denn’s Biomarkt– This is a national chain that specializes in “bio” (organic) products.  The Denn’s chain is represented in several local communities, including Sindelfingen, Nagold, Ludwigsburg, Stuttgart, and Vaihingen.   You can find bio fruits, vegetables, wines, and cheeses, as well as other natural products.

The Nagold Mix Markt.

Mix-Markt– This is a European market that offers products from Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union.  It was founded in Germany, but there are now stores all over Europe.  It’s a great place to shop for exotic wines from countries like Georgia and Moldova, both excellent wine producing countries.  Also, if you like Russian products, you can find them there.

“Feinkost” is another term with which you should familiarize yourself.  A Feinkost is translated as “delicatessen”, but in my experience, Feinkosts also offer upmarket products.  One well-known Feinkost in Stuttgart is Feinkost Böhm, which is a super fancy and expensive market downtown.  It’s fun to shop there for special occasions and to see how much they’re selling Pepperidge Farm cookies for.  Stuttgart also has the Markthalle, which has a lot of ethnic markets, meats, cheeses, produce, and desserts.  Your town might also have a Feinkost, but it may or may not be as fancy as the one in Stuttgart.

Your local town may have its own specialty markets.  You may find Turkish, Asian, Italian, Spanish, or even Portuguese specialty markets, depending on where you live.  Keep your eyes peeled, because you can find some great stuff in the little ethnic markets.

Also, many towns have produce markets that happen several mornings a week and/or on Saturday mornings.  You can also buy specialty meats at Metzgereis (butchers) and baked goods at Backereis (bakeries).  Some local areas also have farms where you can buy fresh produce, eggs, and fresh milk.  See my post “Farm Fresh” for more information about buying fresh food at farms– it’s frequently done on the honor system.  You will also find vending machines that sell things like eggs, milk, noodles, and lentils, among other things.  My “Farm Fresh” post has a video showing how to get fresh milk (which should be pasteurized at home) and pictures of the vending machines you might find in your neighborhood.

Generally speaking, I find grocery shopping in Germany to be a pleasure.  There’s always something to see and German stores offer a lot of good products, some of which will be familiar to you and others you may come to love and will miss when you’re back in the USA.  Some stores are more pleasant for me than others.  Some people love the local Real, but give me an Edeka any day.  I suspect I’ll soon be very familiar with REWE, since I know my new neighborhood has one.  Once you’ve been here awhile, you’ll be able to find a store to your liking.  If you like very fresh food, I highly recommend shopping on the economy as opposed to at the commissary.  Hope this post is helpful for a few folks!

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